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Normal's Overated.
sokmuiam a cynical person who hates orientation and the ridiculous rah rah atmosphere. shares a love-hate relationship with ku-ster and the piano. god should populate the earth instaneously with adults, thus skipping the absurd toddlers and squealingn babies fan of korean shows and the rude ah jun mas, secretly think bae yong jun is not bad looking. listening to classical music on the train is a waste of my battery. Dislikes babbling women who are not efficient.adores House. Thinks that friends are sometimes a burden Adores Xinyun immensely. Life is too short to bother socializing with people I dun like. You either choose the pill and live your life barely feeling your toes, or ignore the pill and accept pain as part of the life. Secretly clings. Sometimes. |
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random quirks
my student made a guess regarding my age and said i was fifteenmr ku insulted me by saying i look like david carrdine whoever dares to say there is a certain resemblance better be prepared for my wrath. plugged tagboard
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to mg: the song realli resembles felicia..sigh anyway... argggh!! why are all the assignments given by miss heng all so weird wan??? today's sensational portfolio writing topic: God made Adam and Eve God did not make Adam and Steve in case you are still not getting it..it's talking about heterosexuality and homosexuality...........>.< not dat hard to comprehend..but dun need put until so chim rite??? oh yeah..and our assignment for ca...write a letter to the editor of straits time forum..about "should we build a casino?" den if ur letter get published den full marks..or else she give marks......... straits times forum lehz!!! not sanguine torch!! so hard! arrgh......haix..anyway..today...school was okay..except mdm neo was so damn bitchy....realli!! she got headache big deal..why vent her anger on us?? and poor jun jie..though i agree he's realli thick and sometimes very very stupid...but he doesn't deserve the one hour dc just for being late for a few mins!!! god...... my condolences to junjie......sad sia.... anyway..she checked belts and cybil and sherhan kanna..i hav a feeling dat tml she will check belt lohx....shit.....but today not enough money buy lehz..so...shit shit.....heng i escape.....geez den went to the library..practically wasted time..read Times magazine and miss heng was right, i hav no clue as to what it was talking about.......den tried to do math..didn't know how to do..and the stupid guy pris recommended also dunno how to do..arrgh..naomi oso dunno how to do..both of us stuck...den went home wif naomi and pris.....yadda yadda..den shower..eat...read..(eating and reading come together de) den here i am trying to screw up my brains by attempting to draft out the stupid letter to the straits.......... arrgh..just finished 1500 word essay den now this.......... god when will the agony end??? but still..better den nothing..sigh.... choz...... die die die.. finally finished the essay.. think i'm quite satisfied bahx..not bad..heh..budden ..prob is.. the word count.. ... .... drum rolls* 2361 words!!!!! alamak..how to cut them short..think i'll just hand them in lidat.. heck heck heck.. took mi the whole of three hours yesterday..but yeah..finished it..!! okay..this morn..woke up around eleven..den on the radio..ate lunch..den things i've managed to accomplished.. revised bio revised chemistry arh..that's it.. till now..going out later wif aunt and mom... choz.. budden like i very slack lidat!!! arhzz!!! this is..tough.. trying to work out something for my essay..spent this whole morning finishing roy johansen's visions of death..quite nice lar..but no patience to read the bad people part..hax..but quite okay..den the afternoon..while it away while clutching my stomach..pain lar.. den hm...finally now three o'clock..started two sentences on my essay.....>.< have an idea..think it's quite a pretty gd idea..but okay, it's not gd, it's just something that i think i can write...>.<..but so hard to put it into words..arrhz.. recount...yesterday what i accomplished.. arhzz..since no homework..so i didn't do much..did a few sums on logarithms..to revise for third week's test..gave up cos i was concentrating too much on the music blasting in my stereo instead of it..den took a break..den read through the rules..den found out i am truly an idiotic no-talent in the aspects of logarithsm..so i gave up.. went to watch a show named "willow" the stupid today paper say it was The Willow in buffy..even had a pic..so i watched..watch about one hr before i realize it's not going anywhere near her..>.< nvm..den continue watching ..den encore for high on life..diaox..kk..den at night..read finish the newsweek..the only way i managed to do that was cos i read aloud...it was..boring..but just read lar..gd for english..diao.. k..den i read chinese...just read cos i dun even noe the content..den i read a little chem..den went to bed around 10... slackie.. today..write essay until evening..den watch show..but losing interest liaox..cos of the bad bad bad costumes..palm of rulai..the costumes..it sucks like dunno wad shit..so i think i'll revise chemistry and bio..den try to salvage my math again...at night watch simple life...den watch in the bedroom...that's a show which i dunno nice not..but just watch..den sleep.......................... wish mi gd luck........ oh yeah..i accomplish another thing yesterday and today..i prac piano! yeah! and it's earned mi a "not bad" from my teacher..hehe...gd gd... kk...bhb..bye bye.. oh yeah..pris told mi the bad news...i guess all 2/6ierx know..so..haix..my condolences...dun wanna list it out here...but realli sorry.. I am going for a long walk. Esther's mother has just driven away (to watch the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II...a rather ironic day & event as it was Queen Elizabeth II who appointed Ted Hughes as Poet Laureate of England thirty-two years later!). She breaks in a box, takes the sleeping pills, makes a glass of water and goes into the basement, having left a note on a blue envelope reading, "I am going for a long walk (BJ 13)." (The real note tells also that she'd return, 'tomorrow.') Chapter 13 ends with beautiful writing.... "A dim, undersea light filtered through the slits of the cellar windows. Behind the oil burner, a dark gap showed in the wall at about shoulder height and ran back under the breezeway, out of sight. The breezeway had been added to the house after the cellar was dug, and built out over this secret, earth-bottomed crevice. A few old, rotting fireplace logs blocked the hole mouth. I shoved them back a bit. Then I set the glass of water and the bottle of pills side by side on the flat surface of one of the logs and started to heave myself up.It took me a good while to heft my body into the gap, but at last, after many tries, I managed it, and crouched at the mouth of the darkness, like a troll. The earth seemed friendly under my bare feet, but cold. I wondered how long it had been since this particular square of soil had seen the sun. Then, one after the other, I lugged the heavy, dust-covered logs across the hole mouth. The dark felt thick as velvet. I reached for the glass and bottle, and carefully, on my knees, with bent head, crawled to the farthest wall. The cobwebs touched my face with the softness of moths, Wrapping my black coat round me like my own sweet shadow, I unscrewed the bottle of pills and started taking them swiftly, between gulps of water, one by one. At first nothing happened, but as I approached the bottom of the bottle, red and blue lights began to flash before my eyes. The bottle slid from my fingers and I lay down. The silence drew off, baring the pebbles and shells and all the tatty wreckage of my life. Then, at the rim of vision, it gathered itself, and in one sweeping tide, rushed me to sleep." arhzz..the above is a brief passage from sylvia plath's bell jar...cos today our english teacher ms angeline heng talked about how depressing this book was..apparently she said that she never believed that a book could be so depressing..but it was powerfully returned till you will get depression after reading it..so went to find out about it...err...yupx hmm..today..went to look for mr lim after sch for cca thingie..den had lunch wif cybil huizhen and suyi..wif kum boon at the other table wif polly qijia they all..>.<...den qijia left for project wif dem..den kum boon joined us..suyi and huizhen oso go off...so the three of us went to the amk library since cybil wanted to borrow books..but huhz..i reached there den dun wanna move le..lol yupx..den sat down at the cafe galilee...den kumboon and i shared money to buy fries...3.20 sia..den we sat there eating while observing all the filthy rich brats around us..ya noe there's one boy..so young..den kaox, bought like the most delicious cake..blah blah..den those people from dunno wad stupid school...had one drink per person plus fries...den after dat saw another group of gals having chicken wings...and oso one drink per person..wad the??? while we were like pathetically pooling money to buy one order of fries??? grrr..den feel very thirsty so again, pooled money together again to buy ONE ice cappucino........>.< ya..den sat there talking about our previous classes, our current classes, gossip a bit..hahax, spent quite a bit of time...cos found out how "interesting" band 3a classes have been..ahem* yah..den went to look for sylvia plath's bell jar..but couldn't find..den borrowed other books...one is kumboon recommend wan..den the other one i borrowed cos the arh, synopsis had an interesting phrase on it haixx...mg was right, one thing after another..dun even noe wad's going on anymore..dun realli feel biased or wad..budden find people so temperamental........ wadeva...hope that will be okay yeah..lee hom rockx.. his new album..chinked out..very nice lehz...listen online..ahh.. oh yeah one song: yi shou jian dan de ge very nice.... mm..today nothing much lohx.. we were so disappointed mr tan teck poh came afterall.. haizz den mm..SHIT! forgot something!! (brb...).. kzz..anyway...another song..: xing zhou..(horoscope..) very very chinked out..nice...it's basically listing all the horoscope..but nice oh yeah blogging.. mm..today..nothing much.so boring..but for once i stayed back to finish my homework..den played 45 mins (i was watching the clock) of dai dee wif cybil pris and mg..mm..den go home.. dat's it? yah..dat's it.. anyway.. abit very the wad lehz..how can lidat de...no moral values..lidat accuse others... haiyo the accused, you have my sympathy.. *winks* mm..nowadays a lot of people cutting hair yo! mg mc ann..wah..anyway...so envious or their hair..mine so frizzy and dry...but it's always been lidat..so....... condolences to myself* (people dun tell mi it's frizzy!!! i know!!! brrrr...growl*) arrggh..just finish geog...do most of it den ask naomi fill in details..should be alright bah??? arrh...today social studies..i'm sooo PROUD!! lemme tell u why.. cos, me lim sok mui the social studies representative actually copied math corrections throughout the one hour lesson.. applause* naomi said i was her aspiring idol.. no choice mahx..since all my corrections haven't do..den dat TTP wanna collect tml..so quickly snatched ruth's book to copy.. oh yeah..btw..i know ruth's book inside out..esp math and geog......since i always copy.... haix..bad bad. who cares?! tml is the third day of term two.. and i'm already sleepy.........damn... yeah peeps! friday is gd friday!! anyway friday off sch is superb friday!! yeah! no ttp!! AND we get to skip a maths on thurs for the o level results sharing thing wif mrs tan.....YEAH YEAH YEAH..MRS TAN ROX!! hahax.. mm..oh yeah mrs lee gave us a stupid poem for work.....the title was Valentine but the theme was more like jealous onion or something........... believe mi it's stupid..it's about somebody giving another body an ONION for valentine.. if i was the receiving end..i would just deliver a slap or something. honestly, ONION??? (is dat person a vampire or something that you hav to ward off?) k...after bitching about the onion... i am declaring I NEED TO SAVE MONEY!!! so, mi and cybil will be skipping off home straight......to avoid the tempting lunch opposite... oh yeah, speaking of opp we can no longer walk the route 513 to mrt.. cos the childcare centre..complained. okay yah, those people are very inconsiderate... but we're NOT! so how can we be punished instead??? kk, i'm onli bitching cos nothing else to write..i dun normally use dat route...>.< okie okie..now off to eat creamy ice-cream from king's den sleep.... yoz.. yesterday watched American Beauty...anyother watched?? it's supposed to be m18 but anyway they cut all the love scenes out so..yah..cybil wa sooo disappointed..sms mi..hahax..anyway the show was arh..basically, talking about one psycho family and another psycho family next to them..it's like all the characters...i meant ALL..have psychological problems ya noe.. kz..got nth to do...so let's like list them out.. main character is Lester Burnham... Lester= totally sick cos he drool over his daughter's friend...and take drugs..and actually intended to screw the daughter's friend...and actually have sex fantasies......>>.<< Lester's wife, Carolyn= sick sick plus sick...cannot deal wif stress and simply breaks down when she can't sell her house..den intended to kill her husband just so that she wun be a "victim" cos her affair kanna busted...wad the Their daugher, Jane or Jenny, (neva got it)= another low esteem person hanging out wif Angela or Angelyn(oso neva got it) and act cool....comes from a broken family duh Jane's friend, Angela= hates being ordinary and seduces (!!!) jane's father..my god.. Ricky, the guy next door= pervertic filming guy who kept filming Jane and dead stuff..and smiles at dead bodies.. (even more psycho den mg..) den duh, ended up screwing Jane..once went into mental instituition...take drugs, supply drugs for jane's dad.. Ricky's mom= practically living dead..does nothing but mmm...mmmm...ya get the idea.. Ricky's dad...= now this is a surprise...superficially seems like a military dad wif discipline and structure blah blah...but den..surprise surprise, he's homosexual!!! yucks!!! and is actually him who killed Lester instead of Carolyn... totally totally psyched out... now i know why they banned this kinda movie to us...... cos we too innocent...>.< but... ... ..... okay i'm sick. but i still think it's a very very nice movie :DDD okay now you can throw tomatoes at me... but it's nice! .. yah yah..back to actually blogging instead of movie commentary..anyway...huabin actually got previews to a movie called coach carter..which he recommended mi to watch when it's aired around 28 april...or march? dun get it..budden maybe i'll try.. budden..i look at the pile of textbooks on my desk..sigh..just spent the entire morning helping mom fold dumplings..yeah..and it's nice kz..i didn't put laxatives or wad...plus we had sharks' fins and abalone for lunch...... yum.. yeah bite mi..soooo nice.. den spent the whole morning listening to radio..doing nothing.. just finished physics online..by ticking all the answers provided by cybil over the phone..:D aren't i pro.. going to TRY to do some revisions later on..since i know i'll be hooked onto tv later in the night on lord of the ring....... haix..maybe i should consider a career where i get to either plug in music all day or glue my eyes to tv all night.... dat will be nice.. yeah..right.. arhzz..i haven't written my english compo..and just incase kum boon is reading this..I WROTE THE SAME TOPIC FOR CHINESE COMPO AS YOU!! eeks! she wrote three god damn pages while i barely scraped two...... wrote on the jay chow's wo niu being listed as shanghai's 100 songs for blah blah blah.......mm. i'm getting too high.shit.. and i think i need to throw my stereo set away..cos i can't concentrate wif music tempting mi.. and my piano..aww.. shit..starting to whine......better log off.. arhz..just sent the script..think it's crap but heck..we've got a competent editor..wah.. erm..today went to the rehearsal..waited till every one over so that's like 3....ask us go so early for wad?? sheryl cheer up!! dun so sad lar..can prac wan...anyway..we didn't kanna scolded by ms lau..which is a good thing duh but she sounds as if we wun make it through the audition...haizz..den so bad...den my cca points how??? i think i'm dead..~ but heck lar.. mmm...trying to find the "story" in my songs...all classical..how to find??? haizz...sooo hard... homework... 1500 word essay... chinese compo... geog articles... chem online physics online nothing else bah? heck heck very tired..tml finally going swimming!!! yeah yeah!!! asked huabin but he very tired after his training and all dat..too bad..going wif naomi..yay!!! mm..after rehearsal mi anson and mg sent naomi to the mrt..den the three of us bought rotiboy..oops, anson didn't...den went to the library crap...den i go home wif mom after buying ice-cream!! yawn...sleepy... 1. english 1500 words essay 2. english reflection (done) 3. english paul's wheel (half-done..cos i dunno how to do some.) 4. chinese essay 5. A math worksheet(done) 6. E math worksheet(done) 7. Physics show and tell(they say dun need to do lehz) 8. Physics online lesson(he got post mehZ?) 9. Chemistry workbook(done) 10. Chemistry worksheet(done) 11. Chemistry online lesson(seen..got stuff to do mehz) 12. Biology powerpoint presentation(done) 13. Geog articles thingie 14. Social Studies online lesson(done) yay..left onli a few..so happy.. this morning did the interview wif mrs tan wif vanessa...still haven't write the article..heck..later..den after dat we loiter around junction eight..den met naomi and xiang jun..do the bio..basically just copying and pasting...diaox..add a couple of backgrounds..tada..aren't we great or wad..finished it in less than two hours lehz.. oh yah den after dat i took mrt wif naomi to jurong cos she say if i do dat she'll go swimming wif mi in jurong..yay..so happy.anyway..so short time onli the trip.....less than half hour lehz..:P mm..not much to blog about..yesterday cybil came my house..i bluff her say do homework..in the end we kept browsing websites and playing stupid games..haw haw.. mm..nothing much to say..so hot! sorry..know this is getting a little bit too much..but i need it to motivate myself.. 1. english 1500 words essay 2. english reflection (done) 3. english paul's wheel (half-done..cos i dunno how to do some.) 4. chinese essay 5. A math worksheet(done) 6. E math worksheet(done) 7. Physics show and tell 8. Physics online lesson 9. Chemistry workbook(going to copy tonight..COPY being the term) 10. Chemistry worksheet(done) 11. Chemistry online lesson 12. Biology powerpoint presentation 13. Geog articles thingie 14. Social Studies online lesson(done) yaw..kk..i noe..left so much still..but heck..all online and proj..wad you expect? anyway..tml will finish the chinese essay..mm..den hmm..try to do the stupid geog..i just spent the past one hr finding songs for sheryl and jia hao!!! you guys owe mi!!! yupx..today's rehearsal very unpleasant..mm..gonna stop at jus dat..but naomi, cheer up larx, jia you kz..it's just a stupid score..u will definitely ace it..dun so stressed! mm...den after dat cos our dear naomi stalked off leaving mi behind in the dust (nice expression..) so i went bac to stay wif sheryl and jiahao...was crapping..den sing a lot..wif sheryl the wu ding..den jiahao say why wu ding three people can sing wan.lol..anyway..after dat both of them go home..i nowhere to go..called kellie..actually contemplating going to commonwealth..but eeks..so far..so went cybil's khatib turf instead..ate mac..den talk..oh yeah, their toilet smells worse than anderson if that's possible..!!! smells like dunno wad! cybil seemed skeptical..so i ask just open the door and take a deep breath..she came bac wif the face like she wanna vomit..>.<>fly who can't tell his home from our slurpie..flew right in!!! it drowned inside ya noe..wad the..wanna die can die further away or not??? 1.30 lehz! i treat lohx! den i ask cybil go and dig out the stupid fly..den carry on drinking..den starting to realize there's this weird weird man..err..around 30+..keep saying "gimme...gimme"...we were so totally freaked out...eeks. update on progress.. 1. english 1500 words essay 2. english reflection (done) 3. english paul's wheel 4. chinese essay 5. A math worksheet(done) 6. E math worksheet(done) 7. Physics show and tell 8. Physics online lesson 9. Chemistry workbook 10. Chemistry worksheet(done) 11. Chemistry online lesson 12. Biology powerpoint presentation 13. Geog articles thingie 14. Social Studies online lesson not bad not bad..at least finished three today...going at this rate..should be able to kan diao all of them..yay.. yesterday was cross country...err.pretty damn boring...esp when you keep hearing mr ang say wad, last one standing must perform..so diao...meigui sheryl and mi walked...den sheryl went ahead to jog..den me and mg still walk..45 mins lehz..more than enough lohx.. mm..and i missed 2/6 a lot yesterday..we were soooo united..even though everyone now diff class..but when the competitive boys were running bac..all of us went there to cheer them all...nigel cheng cheng and jun jie all got top ten..so proud..den huabin that stupid qian da person dun wanna run..14..den somemore got people dat i dunno personally..like khairul, wilson they all..but i still cheer lar..heck..fun mahx..but realli missed 2/6 lohx.. mm..the place was nice enough...guest of honor was mr fandi ahmad...quite nice lar..at least his speech wasn't boring..but couldn't hear properly..den after dat...went around searching for dat stupid wee lic...to hand in giro..den ann they all went dunno where to watch movies ah...den mi sheryl mg and jiahao hang around..after which we spent like dunno how many donkey years walking outta the idiotic park before we finally hailed a taxi...and on to suntec! so proud to say that we were there even before ann reached their destinations..wah! den ate burger king..and it was so damn cold..i think i barely said more than ten words in that meal..cos very cold lar! jiahao keep crapping..sheryl keep laughing..den mg oso freezing..brrr..but overall quite fun..hahax..and we played wif our food..:P mixed sprite coke and ketchup together! wah..den when we squeeze ketchup dat time accidentally drop some on jiahao's pants..wahhh...on that ahem ahem part wor! hahax..so funny..den after went to far east...actually dun wanna go..cos told mom would get bac earlier..went there take neoprints..den after dat sheryl went home..mg escort her to mrt..they all like fly lidat so fast..den jiahao and mi go up to sunny's bookshop...den there we met vanessa kumboon lijie and two of their friends?? wah! so qiao...very happy lehz..lame wif them..den mg cum..den we talk about how those books are so tempting..wanna buy all of them home..yay..den after dat go take neoprints...three of us take..3/7 mahx..den along the way drag vanessa and jiahao in as guest of honors..hahax..mg quickly run off..heh...but very fun..den we follow them to kino..cos jiahao waiting for 5 o'clock to meet his parents..den mg dun wanna go home so early..den bought ice-cream..so pathetic sit outside the kino eat..den talk a lot of crap..den after dat go in..got lost..den after dat jiahao went home..mi and mg sat there while i browse through the music sections...very nice lehz! got scores of usher, alicia keys..norah jones..all those lehz! but sooo ex!! i vowed to be rich when i grow up!!! arrgh... hmm..quite fun day lehz..hahax.. got some idea of wad to write abt english compo le..budden so hard to narrate..arrgh... tml going swimming wif px..at jurong..not swimming just getting a tan..please god dun rain tml.. yupx..den perhaps i will wake up earlier tml do the english paul's wheel..den rest of day slack..mon got rehearsal..den got dental..and naomi and i going esplanade library to do geog project..eek..better research now... why am i getting bites from mosquitoes!! tot my house so many lizards shouldn't hav mosquitoes???? those stupid lizards are slacking!!! man. it's finally thursday...one more horrifying marathon before the break.. i seriously need the break to catch up wif some stuff... below are the list of to-dos aka homework 1. english 1500 words essay 2. english reflection (done) 3. english paul's wheel 4. chinese essay 5. A math worksheet 6. E math worksheet 7. Physics show and tell 8. Physics online lesson 9. Chemistry workbook 10. Chemistry worksheet 11. Chemistry online lesson 12. Biology powerpoint presentation 13. Geog articles thingie MY GOD!!!! so much stuff to do, so little time...whaah..die die die....... anyway, i can't figure out the reason why mrs tan loves to end our terms wif a big bang bang..a simple nice normal short day would do pretty great for me... instead, we get to stroll around the east coast, feeding bloody mosquitoes. haiz, the mystery of adults. back to actual blogging..got bac report card..avg not as bad as i thought..but surely i've deteriorated...den erm, spent the whole day stoning cos all the lessons so damn boring..and finally, after school, cybil kellynn and several others went to our first Sanguine Torch meeting..which btw, was held by all two-sixiers! woo hoo! hahax..k..it was sooo damn relaxing...wahhahax, i'm so damn glad to be free of the clasps of volleyball..yeah yeah yeah!!! erm..been assign to interview mrs tan about the Cranes project..which surprisingly, turns out pretty well..; everyone in my class has been busy folding them..including Ruth who used the insurance paper..:P..and the best thing is..wahahx, going to team up wif Vanessa..pris's little sis! hahax, k k she chose me instead of cybil..cos we more shou mahx...cybil has been assigned to another task..bake day? or something? wif another sec one..while dear kellynn's been promoted to editor!!! wah!! see see!! the advantages of being a english scholar...envious* but all's well, hahax, and i finally feel as if cca isn't half as bad..why didn't i join sanguine or some other stuff in the first place? grr eh..quite tired..going to do some research for essay..try to brainstorm..den err..which homework should i start first???? god still wanna blog.... but dunno what to say anymore.. feel so...complex... why do humans hav complex feelings? i would rather we just feel happy or sad..that would be so much simpler..cry when you are sad, laugh when you are happy..isn't that much better? you dun hav to feel a ton of feelings thrown at you..and you feel as if you are suffocating under all the confusion and ambiguity.. i'm really scared..what if i failed bio and english too? and there's something that i feel that i can't even identify.. and i always get this feeling i'm living for the sake of death. living, so that there will be one day where death can claim me. maybe it's all the sadistic books i'm reading recently... but isn't it true? all that you are, what you own, will all be ashes and dust once you die..true, you might leave precious memories in the minds of many...but once they die..aren't all these memories dust too? maybe there's a place in the universe where all the memories gather...gather to form a whirl pool of memories..whether sad or happy... i dunno... feeling very very confused..dunno what it is i'm feeling. haiz that's the worse i guess..when you dunno what you're feeling.. some people live for the sake of finding true love..some people live for the sake of benefiting humankind...some people, like me, live cos we've got no choice.. what am i living for? life seems so... even if i die now..would i hav regrets? maybe..humans always hav regrets...regret that you neva told him u like him , regret that you neva told your parents you luv them..regret that you took ur life in the first place. time is really a mystery isn't it? no one can define what time is...time isn't seconds, isn't minutes, those are the units of time.. time is..just time. it goes on, the world keeps spinning, no matter who dies, no matter what happened... time, it doesn't hav a life line. it doesn't need oxygen to survive. but yet, it feeds on the grief of those who lost someone important, feeds on our feelings.. what is it? if no one has ever invented a way to calculate time, if no one has ever created the sundial..would humans be happier? not knowing how much time has passed since you've seen that person, not knowing how much time you hav left till you die, not knowing till it arrives. lesser worries, lesser paranoia. There are so many things science can't explain. Science, to me, is just a way for humans to explain stuff that terrify us. It is just a way to reassure us that humans do hold the power, that no one dominates us. But somethings still does. Science can't explain ghosts, can't explain time. Can't explain the complexity of humans' feelings. Why do we insists on explaining what can't be explained? Shouldn't we just accept it? Death terrifies us. Science attempts to curb that fear, to invent a shield against the disease, the virus, the end. Ghosts terrifies us, science attempts to give the ghosts a name, give them a solid reason of existance. And because we are creatures that are easily terrified, Science is the thing that ultimately dominates us. We live, to find a cure for the fear inside us. We die with regrets, because we couldn't conquer the fear inside us. Sorry i crapped..haix long time neva blog.. currently listening to Reason in the Autumn's Love show...den was reading meigui's blog..long time neva online..so read all at once..den read until the earlier entries abt felicia... bad combi sad song+sad entry very bad combi anyway..dun wanna repeat wad happened when Felicia went...all of us cried...rightly so..haizz.. nvm..heard that she's doing quite okay at new zealand...all the best.. bad news guys i failed A maths first timed i failed a subject..over 100% somemore.. i totally flunk it.. when i received that time..didn't feel very sad...budden after going to tan teck poh and ask him add marks and he refused...his stupid face reminded mi of how desperate i must seemed.. den i cried.. find it so hard to hold it in..tried to..in class..ask ruth..kept scribbling..so that i will something to do and stare at... den at last one hour later..recess.. went to 3/4...pris yanyu jody and layjia there..den i cried.. tried to hold it bac cos they kept asking mi not to cried...den huabin came..he oso saw..but he didn't say anything.. den tried to hold it back.... went bac to class..later dat day naomi told mi that it was very obvious that i cried.. den after sch..went sanguine...so stupid..mi and cybil interview each other.. den went bac 3/7..weilun wee yang ronald were there..wif jaslyn..den naomi suay suay came in and ask how i was..cos my math lidat..den i hushed her and told her i'll cry if she so much as mentions math..den i really cry..tears came out and all that bloody business.. den her jaw almost dropped..come to think of it..realli funny.. den weilun saw...haizz..den just about the whole world knows....... heck.. got over it le lar..thanks to cybil..after sch eat so long..den think things over..den after that naomi came my house chat..luv ya too..den finally plucked up the courage to tell mom... heng she didn't flare up.. haiz..all my fault cos everything careless..not that i dunno how to do..why??? nvm..now determined to score well..mi cybil and naomi will work hard together and psycho each other.. pss..den why am i still online here?? should be studying right??? dun feel like it.. this week..everything to suay.. hope that i dun cry tml straight on the spot when i receive my marks for bio and english.. it would be such a scene...... haizz..seemed like everyone has so many troubles.... oh yeah..dat day so depressed..wrote something in my diary..doesn't quite make sense but..yeah.. almost forgot..sheryl sorry if i snapped at you..in a really foul mood..i apologized..sorry.. when the dark encloaks you in a suffocating fit are you sure that light will release its grip? if all that life is is a dream, then when we wake, will it be in a voidless realm? If humans must feel to be humans, then would non-humans feel more humane? What will be, might not be What might not be, will be. . .. .... (here are all crap) Will of man, strong or weak Have bonds that weaken no matter what is Death of man, survival free in hell we burn or do we yearn? Life o fman, trap indeed. Complex feelings haven't bid. What is true, what is fake? What is life Without death. in another four hours, felicia will not be in the same country as us. sigh going out in another one hr to see her off..... but first... received my chemistry and lit marks...chemistry is 28/35...which is equal to around 80..so okay..my science always hav been lidat...lit got 18/25..which is oso quite satisfactory cos highest in my class was 20...but so stupid one more mark overall will be a1...now 72 mm..naomi today very sad over felicia's leaving. asked me to bring losta tissues..... haix today finally got over the whole common test..finally...cheng yu..ahem..everybody oso got tips..:P some some lar..heh, who ask the teacher set so hard.... classes were boring..especially ss..tan teck poh came in today wif waxed hair...cute..>.< den began his philosophy of life again.. starting to understand logarithms...at last.. eh...stupid kumboon chemistry got 32! naomi 31! wah seh..stupid de. felicia's leaving... need to get ready le....bb..... it wasn't until the plane flew out of sight then i realize the ache in my heart hasn't subsided all the best, felicia |
