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Normal's Overated.
sokmuiam a cynical person who hates orientation and the ridiculous rah rah atmosphere. shares a love-hate relationship with ku-ster and the piano. god should populate the earth instaneously with adults, thus skipping the absurd toddlers and squealingn babies fan of korean shows and the rude ah jun mas, secretly think bae yong jun is not bad looking. listening to classical music on the train is a waste of my battery. Dislikes babbling women who are not efficient.adores House. Thinks that friends are sometimes a burden Adores Xinyun immensely. Life is too short to bother socializing with people I dun like. You either choose the pill and live your life barely feeling your toes, or ignore the pill and accept pain as part of the life. Secretly clings. Sometimes. |
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random quirks
my student made a guess regarding my age and said i was fifteenmr ku insulted me by saying i look like david carrdine whoever dares to say there is a certain resemblance better be prepared for my wrath. plugged tagboard
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hmm..i've decided.. i'm going to buy three soundtracks.. stairway to heaven (tick, jiahao foot the bill) summer scent..(it's realli nice although the show very naggy) autumn love (wanted a long time ago le) i didn't buy winter sonata.. wait until i watch another time..dat time watch, i think i was biased..so didn't realli appreciate it.. i'm waiting for the last mp3 to download finish..over half hour..if it sux i'm gonna kill it.. ..oops not possible ahh no money!! plus november chopin.. shit i think i'll buy it over a week months in the end i sure procrastinate de la..cos no money..sob sob today ah..very sutpid waste time de la.. download complete!! listening* yesh!!! it's that song i wan from autumn love!!! yay!!! the strovinsky..i think, dunno which one lar..the sky sky de..romance.. very nice lor ..where was i? oh yar today o levels..was damn sian..not very difficult but dun think will do well oso..whatever la, results cum out den say hmm den after that, we had a hard time deciding where to go in the end wanted to go cafe cartel to enjoy food budden it was full, and there were a table of guys who echo what i said about the restaurant being full already..stupid den went pasta mania where huizhen and i shared pizza of basil chicken..den kumboon ate baked rice while lijie and naomi ate chicken bolognese.. den we hang around somemore, took neoprints..the second time wif them..>.< den lijie went home and slept..being the pig she was den i drag huizhen to dental wif mi.. after which pris and meigui joined us..cos they too bored and we waited a long time for my appointment.. den after we went taka..cos too hungry, bought sushi and some drinks and sat down at the food court to eat .. after that we went heeren took neoprints..10 bucks and it was like shit ..dun ever take that machine..what meng jian niao de .. but in the end okay lar..cos the words shinning de but still in total i spent more den 14 bucks!! ahhh!!! i can't do this!! how to buy all the albums like this ... shit watch too much sad shows.. will make mi depressed and remind mi finally of the mess i'm in .. feel like crying again .. how is it that humans can bear to swallow all their sufferings and pain and misery and yet feel okay and happy because they see their friends are happy .. it's..amazing  RAVEN EYES You have Raven Eyes! Positive Traits: Intellectual, Wise, Experienced, Honest, Trustworthy Negative Traits: Pompous, Condescending, Withdrawn, Pessimistic, Depressed Your eyes are the windows to your soul. What type of eyes do you have? brought to you by Quizilla  u r a silent girlfriend. ur shy around the one u love. when u are around him or thinking about him, u are probably thinking,"he'll never love me." if u relax alittle around him and talk 2 him more, he will definetly see you as more than ur apearance and ask u out. once he does, u'll be restored to ur shy state of mind. don't stay shy! now that u know he loves u, u need 2 loosen up and be urself. HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What kind of gilfriend would u be?(with awesome anime pics and 8 M-azing results!!!!) brought to you by Quizilla (i like the piano..hee)  WANDERER You are the Wanderer, the lonely, melancholy figure that haunts deserted roads. Wanderers don't know their purpose in life. They simply drift from place to place, looking for something that they are missing, but never quite finding the peace they seek so desperately. A Wanderer is a restless spirit, full of despair and melancholy, but will nevertheless seek an adventure, just for the sake of trying to give their hopeless lives purpose. Color: Grey Animal: Wolf Gem: Sapphire Symbol: Staff Image: http://www.deviantart.com/view/7797735/ Who would you be if you were a character in an epic fantasy? (beautiful pictures) brought to you by Quizilla (very appropriate)  Dominant Personality: Disappointment Good Traits: You know what rejection feels like, and are truthful with people. Bad Traits: You're very pessimistic. It seems like everything's gone wrong with your life, so you've given up. People see you as: Depressed, lonely, and unenthusiastic. People walk right by you and occassionally walk all over you. You let yourself get pushed around and always blame yourself. You're Most Like: Regret. You think that everything is going to turn out all wrong. You have to take matters into your own hands. Unlike regret, you don't constantly dwell on the past, but dread the future. You Need More: Calm. Don't associate with promise-breakers, and a large group of people. Seek out people who understand where you're coming from. What's your dominant trait? (10 unique results) brought to you by Quizilla  People see sadness in your eyes. You seem to be hurt deeply. You may be unhappy because you are alone or feel like no one cares about you. Or it may be because something very awful has happened to you. Whatever the cause, you go through each day just waiting for night to come with sweet relief in the form of your dreams. But you may have even lost hope in your dreams. Chin up. Things should get better for you and there is always at least one person who cares about you. Have hope.(Image copyrighted to http://Tasuki-no-Miko.deviantart.com/) What can people see in your eyes?(great ANIME pics)((IMPROVED!!!)) brought to you by Quizilla ahhh.. i watched finish the stairway to heaven le .. it's very damn sad lor the channel u still haven't screened finish..so i shan't say the ending..wun be a spoiler but but IT'S REALLI VERY VERY VERY VERY TOUCHING LA!!! sniff sniff.. i cried like two whole hours straight...so shiok..cry realli like shit.. i know i know, girls are unnecessarily emotional..but..erm..ya noe..erm.. .. .... we are girls .. we have the rights to cry la haha but it's realli very nice lor this show..the actors' actings really not bad..and i like the guy quan xiang yu not because he is shuai..but becos his acting realli improved since the whatever show..and he cry that time not as fake as jay chou..realli damn touching..wahhh oh man..tml got chinese exams..erm..erm.. eh lidat lor i studied lar.. amen* ..so stupid i'm royally pissed at two things one: the prime supermarket downstairs actually ran out of magnolia fresh milk!!! what the, what kinda supermarket is that? it's so cramped and big with every kinda milk but no magnolia fresh milk.. two: have you looked at the weather today? it's a sunday and unlike the one when mi mg and ann decided to go swimming, the sun is like SHINNING..one hour in the open would have gotten us a decent tan.. i think the sun is trying to mock mi or something arggh no milk+hot sun= bad combi i'm off to stairway to heaven.hur ..i think the lyrics is wrong.. .. how would i know, i'm not korean haha mm. i studied chinese i STUDIED la .. just now when i listening to long hu bang 933 dat time.. i looked through all notes and i think..i THINK i noe how to write them .. and i tried the paper (onli the tian xie han zhi) mr tok gave.. the through train de hor..hmm..very hard so.. not to discourage myself, i've decided not to touch it.. =) smart huh okay sry sorry.. i'm just so looking forward to my mom going out..den i'll watch stairway to heaven for two episodes till the end and cry like shit .. den tonight got daredevil which looks quite nice ..if not for the very ..realli very comical literally, COMICS look.. ah well, what do i know anyway tml is chinese o levels!! everyone gd luck!! but like what anson said, i oso dun feel the rush yet geez and everyone is like attempting to write news report..onli me myself adamantly refused to touch it .. cos i've never trained in it and i rmb got one time i wrote..turns out okay, but not realli like very sheng ke impression.. so no no no and it's realli intimidating....>.< shit shit shit i'm soo obsessed with korean stuff nowadays forgive my mm..bimboness..-.-" oh my.. i can't stop admiring my blog..haha i think i'm realli content to just stare at it and listen to the music while i eat.. ya ya i noe i'm obsessed.. nothing to do.. mom is in a bad mood apparently.. and oh yar.. .. i'm being plagued by bad dreams.. mm. choz yawn.. time check 10.10 mm..chinese studying..while..errm..i'm like 60% giving up..cos it's just too much lar!! for 25 marks!! tml going to see what i can squeeze in den look through model essays..den that's it.. anyway..i can't stop admiring my blog.... mm.. nice wor watched two episodes today..left onli two to go..cry until like shit lar.. very sad.. ahh..sleepy sleepy..(hypnotize..) no lar, still wanna watch the show later on..seems like i've been evolving into a potato couch since they announced the start of holidays.. ..yawn .. btw, i meant to go jogging early tml morning..but ya noe..mm..tonight got gd shows..den erm, bro took ipod..so i wun hav company in running..hence..mm..see it's not my fault .. fine i'm procrastinating .. doesn't a girl have the rights to deny running?? it's like the most horrible sport on earth.. i dun mind doing any other sports no matter how tiring they are..but erm, running? no thanks .. idiot my eyelids are closing.. you know i like to fantasize everynight before i sleep.. no i do not like fantasize abt sex or whatever pornographic stuff.. it's just fantasies..things that can never happen.. kinda..mm..takes off the stress ah now, i know why i'm feeling so sleepy crying does that to you.. and of course i did loads of that today.. shoots stairway to heaven.. hey but it's realli damn nice~ yippie~!! my blog! so nice!! the song very nice right?? listen kz?? ..my translation of the lyrics..erm..not very accurate..trying to find one that's accurate den post it up..... i'm officially obsessed with stairway to heaven!!! ..i'm having korean fever..>.< anyway..later going out with pris to study chinese..erm.. haix, chinese..very sian wor to junjie: dun so agitated lar..abt the trees..next time you can chop down theirs ..nth much to do nowadays to jiahao: my soundtrack!! dun lai pi hor ahh..monday o levels den...free!! okay..actually, this sounds freaky, but i kinda wanna study these days.. cos nth to do mah i wan stairway to heaven soundtrack!!! glares at jiahao* (since u are the onli person who neva buy mi my present) (and the most biggest headed person) hence .. hence i wan soundtrack!!! .. .. i just finished finally finished..practising the stupid chinesen book.. ..four levels of notes to go ahhhhh so extremely stupid anyway today very shiok actually..studying chinese is easier den all the other subjects mm nth much to blog abt how was ur dengue talk today??? heehee i asked huizhen to pretend go toilet cum down take stuff from mi.. yay break!! later watch stairway to heaven again.. den continue reading the book tml start on notes.. siannnn btw.. to jiahao: eh!!! u still owe mi birthday present!! i wan soundtrack of stairway to heaven!! now got money buy for mi!!!!!!! sorry lar but i realli wan the soundtrack la hahahahahahaha ..very funni meh ..i just realized i post the wrong lyrics for the wrong song in my ipod.. what shit anyway today get bac report book.. mm..my percentage 70.0 exactly nice right at least got a2 la L1R5 is 9 i'm trying to read a very fast conversatino with anson and jiahao without typing wrong stuff in my blog..wad the think my coordination very gd anyway..my results ah..i quite satisfied la..although i dunno why cannot be happy abt it..cos see ah, i improved my math in the last term so i very very satisfied with myself..den hmm..science my standard always is B3 going to A2 so overall pull up so happy le ..den humanities.. i very satisfied..mmm.mmm at least i won jiahao by 0.2 shiok right he is third in class leh .. wha the i'm not even in the top ten hahaha no la congrats you get to earn 300 bucks..which of cos must go to treating us anyway.. tml i ponning sch la cos it's so bo liao go sch see jiahao get prize oh yar i forgot anson stupid den hmm..see concert..so shiok right..so stupid and my coordination realli very gd ..can read and type at the same time .. so stupid anyway..... .. where was i? oh yar o level chinese .. mm everybody work hard wor!! (yucks, shouldn't use wor..but rearely la hor) anyway i realli going to work hard for this exam..cos i see my results.. just realized very mediocre (sorry sorry mg pris jiahao all dun bash mi) for mi lar ..know i can do better so shall do better!! hols finally coming ..but very sian wor ..okay okay lar.. got block revisions.. siannnn today was a boring day.. seriously .. we had jc talk by innova.. den we had allergies talk oh yar dat reminds mi..i still have a form to fill out can i dun fill? very lazy .. anyway..den recess ..den we hav personality tests den career guidance or planning talk damn boring oso den after dat still hav chinese lessons.. walao den mr tok again pms say we play cards ..scolded us whatever .. dat kinda thing dunno lar, he these days weird weird de, so easily angry anyway..tml even more boring arts fest la ..movie appreciation think everyone fall asleep..later they screen some chim chim movies den how ... zzzz nth much to say onli that we should study for chinese!! i'll go study now den later 7+ watch stairway to heaven ... very nice wor .... mmm hi it's mi i'm back from the polyclinic note, i said polyclinic not specialist .. and i met this god damn fucked up doctor, oops, sorry quack.... and after wasting four bucks (which shows how pathetic it is) i'm bac to seeing the specialist after o levels .. the quack..asked my mom "how's her results" meaning to imply that i might be psychological imbalanced aka crazy just because i happen to have an illness dat you have no idea abt doesn't mean i'm crazy and. my mom asked a lot of questions as a doctor you are supposed to ans them but of cos as a quack, you insulted my mom by calling her "auntie" in an exasperated tone hello? doctor? u? bullshit i almost stood up and slap him what crap he doesn't even look like a doc and when i say the medical term..he was like "huh?" "again?" " i'm sorry?" and i'm pretty sure i pronounced it correctly den asked mi "why do you think you have it?" if he had asked "can u describe to mi?" or "to what extend" i would hav gladly obligingly answered, but "why do you think you have it?" ... i answered once, twice, and the third time, i said in an equally exasperated tone (i hope) as well as insulting plus rolling eyes "BECAUSE..." I rolled my eyes for him to see as well as my stupid naive mom stupid doctor ruined all my mood thank you right people dun go woodlands polyclinic the service sux whlie i was paying the payment..there's this malay woman..complaining..the doc gave her a form to cum downstairs and pay and to come bac tml to do some lab tests and she already told the doctor she has NAUSEAU.. idiot who? people are sick and vomitting and they have to work TOMORROW and you STILL ask them to cum bac to do lab tests when you can just prescribe some medicine to at least curb the nauseau ..idiot who? and den the counter people said "oh, i think u hav to do some lab tests before you can get the medicine," idiot who? it's nearing closing time ya noe ..... hence my verdict of polyclinic woodlands is : horrible horrible horrible and horrible dun ever go there .. it's the first thing that made mi wanna write a complain letter .. bullshit today get bac results results and opinions as follow Amath: 52/80 aka 65/100 (i passed!! so damn happy) Emath:66/100 (i also passed!!!) Physics: 68/100 (qian da, two marks) chemistry: 68/100 (double qian da, another two marks) biology: 69/100 (super qian da, one mark) English: compo=49/60, compre=16/25 summary=18/25 (i can demote, so happy) Chinese: compo=50.5/70, paper two :60.5/90 (dunno what's the overall, but dun care) Geography: mcq=29/40, paper two:78/100 (A1 le, scoot aside) Literature: 40/50 (yay) SS: 32/50 (errm..lidat lor) okay..i onli say this lar, sciences my standard is lidat le, so i very satisfied, especially biology, onli spent 2.5hrs on it and can beat priscilla (jk jk dun sad lar) den maths, of cos damn satisfied..i passed leh..what else to say..den languages..oso my standard around there..so i realli nth to say, humans of cos the onli thing i can score, i scored. in summary whatever i should do comparatively badly, i did badly whatever i should score for, i scored so i hav no regrets .. =) but .. haix i noe a lot of people score much lower lar ..like priscilla for both sciences..lijie for a math and physics..a lot alot la so makes my mood very bad when i see them.. cos they deserve the marks more than somebody else.. ahem anyway yanyu is crazy crazy plus crazy .. where got people so high wan den huizhen oso sssicko... eh, just forgot i forgot to say abt tml tml hmmmm hmmmm .. i hav to see a specialist at 5pm at tan tock seng hmm yar and i'm damn scared cos i noe my mom will embarass mi and den we will quarrel again den my dad will shout at mi den my bro will oso agree and once again i'll feel unloved. >.< i sound very flippant but i assure you it's very serious .. yar lar and somemore tml get bac papers hip hip hurary! if i pass a math i'll have to treat priscilla chicken rice i realli dun mind ya noe so long i pass PUR LEASE .. mm. if i dun pass i'll hav to tell my mom den the trip to the specialist will be even more cham cos she wun understand that the problem is hindering my ability to study (not realli but whatever works) see ya den this wkend i'll need to go by another trip to pasir ris to cry again yo yoz in a far better mood.. at least i managed to joke with bro and mother after going to the impromptu bbq sorry wor once again..to pris naomi mg weisiang anson and guys. like so impromptu .. but i accomplished what i set out to do!! i managed to cry on the beach!! (like very proud lidat>.<) no lar..my mission was to cry cos i know i'm going to go crazy and i dun like to bottle feelings up .. so yippie mission accomplished feel much more..mm..relaxed time check 1.40 i'm not tired at all okay maybe a little yesterday hmm..we went bbqing..we saw this realli cute two baby crows..should be..their nest got blown over by the wind i think from this tall coconut tree nearby..den they were squealing like what cos no mother den no food no water..so we fed them garlic bread using tongs and hands straight into their mouths..and also water..hoping to save them..den sometimes stroking it or asking weisiang to "ahh" to wake it up and encourage them!! the smaller one like very weak..den so angry..mg called the park person..den told them..the person sounded so "wad, u idiot ah, just place them in a shelter or something,"..so not caring..what shit..but there's realli nth that we can do for them..so we fed them till they are full and we left.. .. hmm..den naomi and jiahao was so damn high..i told naomi i couldn't cry with her sittin there on the beach so she very obediently scooted back.after that the two SHORTIES decided to rap all the wilbur songs and more..what the..almost kanna hit by aluminium foil.. act xi ha .. but very fun lar..i quite enjoy lor ..den jiahao had to go home..so we went naomi's house haha..i forgot to mention..anson..very damn shuay..his football went out into the sea and he ran all the way down..waded into the thick mushy muddy soil..i think it's some pollution and coastal thingie that causes its formation..den got stuck there with his calves in it..den while we were attempting to play hero and hold each other's hands while reaching to grab him..he just pulled himself up using the rocks and manage to scrape his hands and legs..>.< smart..hey, we didn't get to play hero..his shoes were all wet and he looked like some poor guy from beggar's clan..so he walked barefooted..mrt and all to naomi's house..haha there we took a bath..den hm..proceeded to insult each.. i'm the killer priscilla the elephant.. mg..the..mm.mm(i dun rmb..got meh?) and weisiang obviously the ghost then we played dai dee..den they taught mi hearts..all the while we basically bully weisiang into shuffling all the cards all rounds..cos he's a ghost..so simple reason..den basically we snuffed him with pillows and pounded him and mg threatened to slap him blah blah blah..but he realli very qian da lar..while naomi slept through it all..>.< so li hai..anson oso..he slept like ox bow lake with all the curves bended up near the door..pro sia .. mm.. after that anson woke up i think..den we played hearts..den he is called the SIAO eh who always anyhow shoot the moon..hahaa.. oh yar..another stupid thing..weisiang couldn't place any cards and was rejected cos he's a GHOST.. damn stupid but fun!! i insulted anson by hitting him with garfield's curvy tail..den we also ka jiao naomi from her sleep..den everyone ate some stuff around 3am..den we slept.. zzzz until 8.. oh yar..poor anson and weisiang got kicked out by us to sleep downstairs..weisiang cos he's too creepy..he keep loitering there watching us sleep..i was the closest to him and he's WAY CREEPY LAR OKAY..hence anson has to play nanny and take him down tooo bad den breakfast.. den here we are!! mm..wanna say a huge thank you..cos you guys gave mi a chance to get away from my house and terror tml..(talk abt it later) and finally have a chance to cry without being seen as ashamed.. yay and i know i think i scared a lot of people..cos most of the times onli people like mg act depressed lidat.. (hahaha, jk jk jk) yah..cos mostly i dun cry lidat wad right.. but that night very sad lar..but dun worry..i'm okay le..tears onli ma hehe the lyrics below 想见你 .. i dunno what to say. the tune and lyrics.. just what i feel.. (i'm not into bgr please.it's just what i feel) once again i'm feeling fed up because of primary sch chalet wadeva i dun feel like doing it again settle it urself .. i'm realli going crazy no..i can't even find the emotion crazy it's just a void an empty deep void inside mi i dun feel anything anymore i hav to see a specialist and like what mg said "isn't it obvious how much it meant to be," yah..isn't it obvious why is it so obvious till my mom doesn't see it why why do my whole family not understand . i almost shed tears when i saw the msg in public but i didn't i ren i force all the tears bac .. dat night i cried .it was wednesday i think den after wednesday..i couldn't cry anymore i couldn't..summon the tears ..it's just ..i thik i cried a little in the hall..when i leaned on naomi.. it's like..the feeling is like finding a safe harbour after all the turbulence..(very cliche huh) but realli that's why i cried .. now.. btw..sorry mg or anybody who tried to contact mi via hp i purposely left my hp at my room.. cos.. i just wanna be anti social now and i just wanna listen to my song tml going barbecuing at pasir ris and staying over .. must apologize to u guys at first is..my mood not gd..den wanna go walk walk..den actually wanna call mg and smoe other friends onli..budden like very weird so.. might as well call everyone tada..the mo ming qi miao de barbecue sorry sorry feel very guilty like making use of you guys to chase away my sorrow .. so many things happened these days. mg broke up with anson... naomi quarreled with mr tok.. mi myself and my problem.. haix..regarding mg and anson..i noe i very cliche and old fashioned but i still believe "what's meant to be will be..what's urs will be urs".. it sorta covers what i wanna say...haha naomi and mr tok.. i realli said what i wanna say ..haix..i noe what u saying mg..abt the you cannot be what u are like in mac.. it's hard la..i admit..but if people (like mi!! =) haha) decide to help..just accept?? (what the..) it's hard to see friends not talking... and nowadays.. i just wan all my friends to be happy.. cos.. i can't be happy anymore.. i feel so.. so.. i dunno why can i even do this i'm realli tired in school i laugh i joke i lame.. when i get home i just shut down all emotions jus now i was watching the stairway to heaven she barged in sat said that i need to prac piano dat if i wan i can always quarrel with her den wake father up den we can all guang ming zheng da de quarrel i was angry budden i was numb i didn't care i just shut it off den go play piano though i was in no mood to play mozart or beethoven..i tried banging beethoven.but i couldn't find the anger ... i'm realli tired realli tired 无论如何也无法阻止,我对你的等待 (ar mu ri ki dar ryo tu larn mu gar) 像个傻瓜似的在你身旁哭泣 (Par bu chor rorn wu gu I nun nor wi kyo ten ) 即使遍体鳞伤也要继续不问原因执著等待着你 (Sar cho marn chu lun lar ru wen ru gu ki dar ri li) 我根本离不开你呀 (Dar lar kar rarn mar ryar) 想念你．．．想念你．．． (Pu gu sip dar．．．pu gu sip dar) 我是这么憎恨命运的坎坷 （I ron lan gar mi wor chi marn kun） 真想大声的哭泣，乞求上天的怜悯 （Wu gu sip dar... lan gan mu rup gun gor） 即使几乎未曾共同拥有过什么，也要不顾一切抓住仅有的 （Mu tu orp ton li ri toin su I tar myo ．．．） 疯狂地追忆着往昔的挚爱（ Mi chi tu sar rar han ton ki ork ki ,chu ork tun ri ） 不停追寻你的芳踪和倩影 （Lar ru charch gu I chi marn） 越是如此追求理想，就越确定对你的爱情 （Tor I sar sar ran I rorn pyon myo ae） 如果没有对你的卷恋，我根本无法生存 （Lor ru kar tun su orp sor I ror myon arn toi chi marn） 到死的那刻我仍然想念你 （Chu kun marn kun pu gu sip dar ） 想念你．．．想念你．．． （Pu gu sip dar．．．pu gu sip dar ．．．） 即使我憎恨命运的坎坷，但是我还是那么确信 （I rorn lae gar mi wor chi marn kun ,mi gu sip dar） 除非你非要离开我，我才会离开 （Lar ru wi hae dor lar yar marn harn tar gu ） 疯狂地追忆着往昔的挚爱 （Mi chi tu sar rar han ton ki ork ki chu ork tun ri） 不停追寻你的芳踪和倩影 （Lar ru charch gu I chi marn） 越是如此追求理想，就越确定对你的爱情 （Tor I sar sar rar I rorn pyon myo ae） 如果没有对你的卷恋，我根本无法生存 （lor ru kar tun su orp sor I ror myon arn toi chi marn） 到死的那刻仍然如此的想念你 （Chu gun marn gun pu gu sip dar ．．．） 到死的那刻仍然难以忘怀 （Chu gun marn gun mi sip dar．．．） yue lai yue an the weather..been pretty depressing these days same as mi .. anyway..i realli find myself becoming more and more like mg.. can cry one second laugh another second i'm realli incredible eh? .. time check 4.40 .. in the night... in the night.. today..something happened again i think all around mi are jinxed or something naomi and mr tok had a quarrel . i dun like saying naomi got scolded by him cos he not dat old anyway what happened? (hope naomi dun mind) err..during recess dat time..naomi just went up to him in a joking manner and say that she didn't receive the chinese book along with weihong..den mr tok dunno why mood not gd is it..den cos naomi didn't notice his face changed..den she carried on joking den tada .. his mood broke .. den scolded her and say what she got attitude problem plus blah blah blah den after dat naomi walked out..followed by mr tok..den they tok again on the staircase btw mr tok looked realli furious and like wanna hit someone..i dun dare look at him, huizhen say wan .. den we all sympathize with naomi so much lar after dat she came up she was like so agitated haha ..mm dun lidat lar hate one person very xing ku de ..mr tok is mostly in the wrong lar..i think he just didn't get that you are joking..maybe he has no right to flare up without thinking but people do hav mood swings lar forgive him la and you can't possibly hate him forever it's very xing ku realli (speaking from experience) den dun say stuff like what absolute cos nothing's absolute you are not even certain you wun die tml so how can you say you wun forgive him or care abt him in future if there's anything i learnt from these past few days.. is. dun ever say absolute dun ever be so confident .. and to cherish those people around u i dunno why but i realli felt this that way but on the other hand i oso learnt that.. some stuff..you just have to deal with it alone some tears, you just have to shed them alone cos some stuff you just can't let people know some darkness u just have to live it alone so yar people i've become stronger not so ..stupid.. not so..fragile.. i'm not turning into those freaking people who dun talk abt emotions lar but i just understand..and i wan u guys to understand.. some feelings..onli you can feel the burden other feelngs..may change over time.. hate is a feeling naomi..hate will change..cos hating people very very xing ku and no matter how energetic u are, i dun think u hav that much energy to hate someone sadness is also a feeling..and i oso dun hav the energy to be sad .. that's why i always try to be happy in sch.. ..today..felt very weird. actually, i felt very MG ish haha .. dunno it's like i noe in the back of my mind there's something i hav to worry abt something i hav to cry abt but..surrounded by friends who dunno anything.. .. it's sorta better (maybe i wun tell everybody what's bothering mi next time) cos if they dunno, they wun be sad..they will be happy .. so i'm like smiling..but ..a bit fake wor? but in another sense ..it's not.. .. i dunno what i'm talking abt mom will be home soon i think i'll cry myself to sleep again tonight .. i dunno .. to hav such a horrible mother she just dun understand that's all what else can i say .. but like i said, hating someone is very xing ku crying is oso very xing ku haha..yesterday i cried online den i cried when i watch stairway to heaven den i cried somemore when i play piano .. results? this morning i woke up, bathe..den find my eyes very pain and when i look, i hav multiple eyelids like mg..-.-" actually i feel pretty numb now .. dun think there's anything in the world i can't withstand now .. it's just crying tears that's all i'm officially hating my mom does she even have any idea...any IDEA how bad it is there's even a technical name for it meaning it's a PROBLEM thank you stop saying it's not a problem you're not the one with the problem so shut up anger is better den grief do you have any idea how it feels to stand infront of a fan to blow dry your tears without blinking because somehow or rather ur tears jian bu de ren do you have any idea how horrible it feels to stand infront of your own father with a red nose and swollen eyes without him knowing you are crying do you have any idea how it feels to force urself to swallow all your emotions and tears in ten mins because you hav to face the world do you have any idea how it is to live one and a half years facing ur friends, those who are so good to you, knowing there's something you can neva let them noe do you have any idea how it feels to have to cheer yourself up and stop ur tears which still wanna flow by listening to kuai le chong bai? do you have any idea how it feels to know you are going crazy or emotionally unstable but you have no choice because you are at home do you have any idea how it feels to go through all that then have your own mother saying you are paranoid and you are mo ming qi miao do you have any idea how it feels to onli have the computer for company when you are crying i wanna self pity but i noe there are people far worse than mi i'm like a mad woman i was crying profusely just... fifteen mins before now i'm listening to kuai le chong bai and nodding my head to myself my apologies to mg i think she's under stressed cos i keep approaching her for emotional support sorry wor but you are the onli one since cybil too guai and i think this blog should be what promoted to being the most depressed blog ever i wonder if i ever ever realli get cancer maybe i'll realli commit suicide on the other hand i'm impressed with myself cos even with such a mother and father i haven't yet inflict physical hurt on myself =) it's something to be proud of and somehow, i noe i wun be so easily daunted in the future if i can overcome this what else do i hav to fear sorry i know i cum off sounding like a realli suicidal woman but i'm not dun worry if you dun see mi tml in school i'm just off chilling off cos yah, i'm too stressed yah i'm too stressed i cry too much these days in the past i dun cry de these days they are like..what..always underneath the surface i think i should film myself down i'm.. realli going crazy and realli, so sorry to mg do you have any idea how bad it hurts to have your own mother point at you and say it's ridiculous? i dun need you to tell mi i'm abnormal thank you thank you realli very much thank you for all your care and concern thank you for humiliating mi thank you for making mi cry again i won't cry i won't cry thank you for making mi cry den telling mi you will take mi to the doc thank you for telling mi i'm ridiculous and abnormal den expect mi to face the doctor alone (because your prsence might as well be absent) thank you for all your trust thank you for all your understanding thank you for NOTHING time check 2.45 .. i'm stil here blogging cos i dunno how to approach my mom sux and noone updated their blog hence i hav nothing to do den no new songs these days hence also very sian we have o level chinese in two weeks people two weeks .. why do i sound so heck care .. i'm trying to divert the spotlight .. but somehow i always find myself bac at square one .. damn i'm staring at the screen trying to find something there that would solve all these what the hell ..... ........ i'm speechless to jiahao: no i dun become a were wolf every..err.17th to meigui and jiahao: so meigui now owes mi one mentose one roti prata and jiahao owes mi one lifetime of kbox and bowling and sakae cos i started laughing when i saw the tagz le. .. anyway today's school was...erm..pointless ..we had sexuality education which was horrible and not very meaningful at all den after dat we had recess in the although-renovated-but-looks-very-old canteen like what pris said what's the point of new canteen with the old caterer den chinese was..stupid and boring..mi huizhen and huimin just did finish the worksheet since we were so bored and no, i'm not quite depressed anymore .. i think everyone who read my blog is like asking mi why i'm like so sucidal ah no, i'm not sucidal very sad maybe, but no not sucidal i take pride in my life .. ah no not actually but.. to nosy people like naomi :) dun try to wriggle stuff outta cybil and mg.. i dun think they will tell u and i'm sure not going to tell u either haha too bad erm..but dun worry, i'm not having cancer or anything HAIX .. time check 2.30 when is it coming? shit..i'm damn scared..what if mom dun remembers what she said .. what if what if what can i do just..try i'm thinking of ponning sch tml they say just write a letter can le right think i wun cum bah maybe see whether my mom will cooperate .. it's so damn boring la err i see first anyway..i watched stairway to heaven (my nice aunt bought mi the vcds) it's the main reason why i'm not so sad anymore see the main character girl is so cham until i can't possibly beat her .. but as i spent up all my tears yesterday afternoon crying..i could't seem to cry when i watch the show but it's damn nice la trust mi haha and meijun has gd taste =) i started thinking yesterday how fake i would be today but actually no, i wasn't fake i was seriously more happy than i had been the day before guess people change being surrounded by ignorant people makes mi happy too :) oh yar..i heard the new song september de chopin (direct translation) by jay new album 1 nov going to buy hah, although i hate his guts but his album is the onli one worth my precious money time check 2.35 ..every min that went past i start to think whether.. there's a solution .. i'm in a considerable better mood .. mom's not back yet i think i'm gonna force her to.. realli make her see what i'm thinking i dun wanna suffer another year or month or whatever it sucks it realli does i dun wan it to happen again god..help anyway..thanks mg for being fan by mi..if not i reali go crazy thanks jiahao for cheering mi up even though he had no idea what's going on .. in the end i wind up being psycho, HIV infected err..somemore hepathetis b (which i think i already hav since it's hereditary) nice guy curse mi ..but i'm still pretty depressed tml is a sch day shit which makes it very urgent shit what is going on with mi i dun wanna .. i dun wanna live like this damn i shouldn't have watched those shows that says girls are entitled to crying damn damn damn cos then i cry a lot .. damnit i feel so vulnerable.. it sux it realli sux i told her already i told her i BLOODLY told her she sorta brushed it off ... can't she understand?? den i'm left with the feeling of hanging out to dry one and a half year .. god damn one and a half year it's enough i dun wan this kinda burden anymore why is it that no one can understand one and a half years worth of tears hi it's mi again and i'm fed up with people i noe u guys also dun like wan..but it's even harder for people who are organising and try so hard to get a time when everyone's free and we can all meet each other aka mi ... i noe very hard to get the same days free..but stop saying the sentence "if realli can't, den u guys go without mi lor." i realli can't stand that sentence cos u guys noe damn well i dun like a chalet when even one can't go it's just not FULL get it? so dun say the sentence even though u noe full well u dun mean it right like you wun feel left out i would rather u whine or something jiaping said that gary said that everybody oso said that i'm not angry with them i'm just angry with what they said which is a lot of difference so dun give mi dat look .. whatever still going to try my best right whatever and.. i'm so fed up with myself i suck i realli realli suck been doing so many phisolophical thinking for the past one hour dun ask mi why it's just so damn stupid .. i hate myself why am i such a weakling? den i began to look at other people. at people who commited suicide..are they weaklings? of cos not..no matter what you said, no matter what christians said abt what taking ur own life is a sin.. u hav to give it to them that they took their own lives..which means they needed a lot of courage den i began to look at people who simply wun admit the truth den i began to look at how i rate my friends i dun even noe what i'm doing anymore there are some friends i share secrets with some friends i realli trust them to keep their mouth shut but somehow i feel so..lost i dunno..it's like basically..everyone's so shallow shallow yep what i think sorry i'm in a very bad state of mood den..some friends..just ..are very hard to gauge they refused to help you when u asked their help due to their own selfish reasons but somehow you noe you can't call them bastards of bitches cos it's every man for himself it's the universal sad old truth it's humans and we are selfish so you can't reprimand them for showing their primitive instinct to preserve themselves first den some other friends that i realli wannna change i realli wanna help them to find their priorities to just find what's realli worthwhile maybe it's all the same to us when u look at other people it's so clear the pros the cons what you should do what you shouldn't do but when it comes to ourselves? den what? we get blinded.. why? i dunno cos i'm still being blinded i dunno what the hell i'm doing analyzing other people when i shouldn't be given the right to do so you know, sometimes i think, if there's realli a god maybe it's a good thing for him to materialize in front of us all you noe, someone who reali truly deserves the power, the authority, to rule, to ..give the verdict sorta cos you noe the judges? at the justice court? those judges? i think they're lost too when you spend all your time in a court dispensing justice like a tissue dispenser you would be lost too yeah, especially when the dispensing is overwhelmed by some stupid system of rating that allows you climb up the social ladder to become the what? top judge? it's no wonder nine outta ten judges became cuckoo by the time they retire .. i realli dunno why the hell i'm doing this maybe this is why mi and mg score better at literature we both like to over analyze stuff actually i realli would like to know what is life about why are we here to make a difference? yah maybe, to some people's lives maybe you made a huge difference but when the whole circle gets wiped out by mister death in the end? the universal wun cry or stop spinning for one nano second just cos you are gone so why are we here? just to fill up space? to give out carbon dioxide for the trees? that's a thought ever imagined what if we are the ones provinding for the trees instead of the reverse thinking? what if trees are somehow more unique and special den us? think of it this way you say we are smarter, cos we annihilate trees they dun annihilate us but hey, if it's a like century old ploy for humans to gain intelligence and civilizations as well as technology you would notice that the technology we had? meaning cutting down trees? would in the end spells our own extinction no doubt they would die with us .. but there's this su yu something abt the grass sheng you sheng. never ending .. okay i'm going crazy i'm just going crazy abt life and humans .. there's this documentary i watched a little just now on channel news asia it's abt our ancestors homosapiens and how they tame fire .. it's like..it's gross realli it's gross when you look at the make up and you go "is that what we should be looking like?" budden the more i look at our ancestors, the more i grew fascinated yesh yesh i noe mg will say i'm sick again .. but we will neva know why we are here do we? .. bac to material world bac to earth tml is monday and i still dunno what the hell i'm going to do .. maybe i should think of it as larger terms huh? since the worst thing that can happen to humans is die then what's to fear since i couldn't possibly die maybe suffer yeah trauma yeah humiliation and awkwards definitely yeah but death? far from it so yah i'm trying to psycho myself but it's hard ya noe the human mind finds it easy to prey on insignificant matters it's funny death is supposedly the onli thing we fear den how do humans curb their fear? we court death we murder we seek death's doorsteps ding dong hi hi today was a very fun-filled day nod nod realli!! (imagine my face) .. the stupid sun refused to cum out it's been raining for six hours!! .. what the hell in the end we didn't swim we went grassroots bowling and play pool with jiahao who being so nice (and idiotic) treated us all .. mm so nice wor .. den after dat..we sorta braved through the rain..jiahao went home..mi ann and mg went to eat kfc..by which time we were totally drenched and my feet was like perpectually soaked in rain water but the chicken oh the chicken it was.. heavenly not to mention WARM .. yep after dat..ann and mg went off to para para..i went home first cos i couldn't stand the cold .. think i'm having mild fever what shit the first thing i did after reaching home was to wash my feet and shoes ahh my poor pink shoes .. become so muddy .poor shoes tml is monday already shit shit shit somebody knock mi out or something .. shit BE BRAVE!! okay, i'm not going to pity myself.... errr be brave!!! SHUCKS LA i am very pissed at the sun ..why is it that when i dun wan it to be shinning, like on normal school days cos i'ts hot it shines den why is it that when i wanna swim like today it refuses to shine .... i get pissed off at little insignificant stuff too but seriously, what's the point of swimming if there's no sun .. .. so angry .. anyway yesterday was not a bad day.. piano went fine ..den mi and pris went out on a very boring trip of library..after dat we went food court..and she didn't finish her homework cos we talked.. den after dat i joined my mom for dinner at the restaurant at sun plaza.. ..which was quite okay bah..but i still think my mom cook better and the bloody restaurant made us wait for 30 mins before serving..what shit .. anyway. tml is monday ..i noe u dunno the significance but i do .. and it sux .. i'm so bloody terrified until i had nightmares abt it.. 1.ARE YOU OVER 18? * unlike meigui i understand perfectly this question so no, i'm not eighteen=) 2. WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE? * ...the forever friends thingie naomi sent..if you people are bored can try sending mi some nicer ones.. 3. DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT? * no, cos i dreamt abt sheryl being bisexual 4. FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING WHEN YOU WOKE UP? * how stupid can i get and felt very apologetic towards sheryl 5. WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON UR BED? * ..i do not have sandy if you are asking, err.the pig mg gave and the purple marshmellow kellie gave 6. EVER TRIED TO SKIP MEAL? * like duh, ask any andersonian and they will say yes..how to hav lunch under ten mins 7. GRILLED OR FRIED? * .....fried (i'm speechless due to mg's ans) 8. WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE ? * i have oink oink (the pink pig) u dun 9. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? * no, what's there to be afraid of..but yah i afraid of ghosts, but to be a little more literature sounding it's the unknown we are afraid of..and on and on 10. FAVORITE HANGOUT? * ..kbox 11. 3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT? * Erm, oxygen, water, and food? *retard look* 12. THREE THINGS YOU WILL BUY IF GIVEN 1 THOUSAND DOLLARS? * an ipod nano for myself, and others i haven't thought of yet, oh yar brainwashing machine will be nice 13. FAVORITE SONG WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPY? * ..gary singing jie kou cos it lulls mi to sleep 14. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? *..alot of things, humans? 15. ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER? * both.. 16. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? * ..according to cybil one is sok...(dun laugh) and according to mg it's sssssadistic 17. WHAT IS YOUR DAD'S MIDDLE NAME? * ....A (between D and D) 18. MOST RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU WATCHED? * the myth 19. IF YOU WERE INVISIBLE FOR A DAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? * go around poking people den people will go "eh? i tot sok mui not around" 20. STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD HAVE ONLY ONE KIND OF FOOD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE? * coconut cos after eating, the husk can build boat..>.< 21. FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL * ..erm..dunno leh, orh the gatsby hair commercial where they sang the stupid song 22. IF YOU'LL DIE TOMORROW, WHAT WILL YOU DO? * wear a pink dress 23. FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE? * myself (i'm a selfish bitch) 24. YOUR EYE COLOR? * brown, hazel, dark brown, blakc..oasis>.< 25. WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS BRING? * ..hp comb music player (mp3 or disc man) wallet 26. WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? * ..teacher (duh)piano teacher (duh) singer (pui pui) forensic (arggh) 27. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK TURNS 7 AM? * ..to mg: cinderella where got so short (muahahahah! jk jk) err..7am? scream like hell throw on clothes den hail taxi to sch praying the guards fell asleep 28. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET? * ..beige 29. WHO DO U WANT TO MEET? * primary sch friends..miss them a lot 30. HOW'S LIFE TODAY? * sux.always does (i'm doing the questions cos i'm very bored) What would you do if - 1- you find out that are being followed? run like shit lar, i not as brave as mg brrr 2- you lost your handphone in sch.? this is not an IF..i lost twice le thank you, try not to cry and call home to mama and confess and oh yar just abt curse the ass of the person who stole it 3- the guy you dislike most says he has a crush on you? tell him how he's more compatible wth peihung 4- you were given a flute on your birthday? to mg: ya you will =) err..give it to weisiang in return for not scaring mi in future?? 5- you inherited a million dollars? burn down all the schools in singapore den make all the students my slave MUAHAHAHA 6- your annoying sibling woke you up when you were having a sweet dream? usually when that happens i snarl at my bro and ask him to fuck off 7- your pet starts toking to you? i'll start to check whether it's being possessed by mg 8- the teacher give your class a surprise test comprising 7 chapters in your science textbook? try to copy from hz, if not sherhan, if not weiting (that's how pathetic my sitting position is) 9- you were to be a guy for one day? aww..so nice, den i'll try to examine myself to see why guys like jiahao is so idiotic..oh yar, and i'll treat all the gals to sakae =) 10- the person you love is a gay/les? ..err change myself to a gay/les? 11- you got 0/100 for you geography final year paper? just jump lar 12- you see Osama walking around Serangoon central? after meeting him i'll make sure i scoop out the brain tissues in mg's head oops i forgot, all her tissues rotted heehee 13- a fairy give you a wish? ..i wish i wish i wish i can grow shorter (qian da face) 14- the person beside you farted during foot drill and a very fierce sir is staring at the squad? try to act fiercer than the sir 15- you realise holiday is over and you havent completed a single assignment? err...call junjie and coerce him into not doing anything 16- some clowns kick a soccerball and hit your drink which splash on your uniform during recess? cry and point at the clowns : you bully mi!! 17- someone annoys you? ..try not to show too black a face and try not to curse (like real) 18- your hair is shave bald by the hair dresser? take a photograph with weihong and mr tok LOL we are the three baldies!! yo yo today is saturday den sunday den monday monnnday ... how? shit i noe u dunno what i'm talking abt dun worry some do monnnday i'm terrified but yet i hav to act as if nothing is going on .. i dunno how i managed to do it i'm realli terrified..till i've been having weird dreams sequel to the dream i had abt the bear bear .. i had this stupid dream .. i dreamt that ... .... (dun laugh) sheryl is a bisexual (DUN BEAT MI!! SHERYL!!) lol, no lar, i told her le she assured mi she is straight .. but.. the dream so damn stupid!! i shall spare you the gory details.. cos..it's realli stupid..among the cast aside from sheryl is hong jun yang, mi and mg .. it's terribly stupid ..so dun ask mi say and i rmb jiahao came in somewhere.. couldn't rmb properly .. anyway later going library with pris den meeting aunt and mom to eat i think shit monnnday .. i'm realli scared shitless ... damn for once pls let my mom listen to mi it's so hard to pretend to talk normally to someone when you keep thinking abt that if onli a person can be emotionally distant yay changed layout deliberately chose pink cos it pisses peixian off wahaha anyway suits my mood broken inside dun bother asking..cos i can't tell ..whatever ..anyway, mood hasn't improved since yesterday but i had this very cute dream i dreamt of fuzzy cute bears walking and talking to mi there's this scene, there's this cute little bear who keeps running away from the person who captures it and coming back to us den getting captured again den its short legs will kick and kick den run bac to us again after dat i couldn't stand it, so i went up to the capturer and rescued it.. den its short leg couldn' regain footing in time so i just took hold of one kicking leg and tow it away so cute!!! what the fuck i was in a very good mood when i got home.. den.. this bloody thing happened my god damn mother pissed mi off again what the fuck i'm too pissed to repeat the whole thing in short, she's mad at mi cos i did a survey cos she tot i shouldn't reveal anything abt our household to any stranger ...what the hell the survey was asking questions like "does ur mom go to the movies" dat kinda thing why wuld anyone wanna know when u go movies? i didn't even reveal anything confidential!! FUCK .... i'm like practically under emotional stress because of that particular thing which onli mg and cybil knows .. i've been like planning for the whole week in the end? it's all spoiled by that stupid survey rendered my mom in a bad mood .. swell u win god u win u like to play mi? fuck off (no offense to christians) i'm fed up and frustrated and i noe u fucking like to play with mi dun you? i might not be the most unfortunate person on earth yah, i quite sure i'm not and i'm not going to self pity but you are such a god damn stupid stupid stupid unfair god .. why are people born with gifts when they dun even appreciate them? why are people surrounded by people they luv when they dun even see them? why are people so loved..so extremely loved when they dun even appreciate it? then why do people who try so hard to luv meets a god damn wall? why do people who try so hard to understand always get snubbed? .. why can't people appreciate what others bring why can't people simply forgive and try to forget why can't people see that in this world, there's no such thing call ignorance, vengence or even extreme dislike unless the god damn person killed ur parents why can't people see that they are hurting people when it's so damn obvious and why do people who are hurt just stay hard why why why why do humans always like to pretend nothing happened why do humans always like to pretend everything will be swell and why damn why why are humans so damn vulnerable why are "no man is an island" why can't we depend on no one why can't we depend on ourselves and ourselves onli why the hell do we need to depend on other people, get affected, den get depressed why the hell do we need to get hurt den heal den get hurt again cos why? cos it's LIFE.. it's our god damn life every single thing makes up our life u dun like that person? why the hell do you need to put such a thorn in urs and the other person's life you dun like her attitude? why the hell do you still hang out with her? cos it's life, cos humans are contradictory by nature cos what we feel and what we do, is different and we're stupid we're realli stupid you care dun you, you god damn realli care but what do you do? you snub people humans we are stupid animals who think we own a high level of intelligence stupid animals who pretend to understand one another stupid animals who like to pretend we all live on the same plane and if you try hard enough, you can understand cos you never can when can you seriously say you know a person? when can you seriously say that person will never do anything u didn't predict .. when is the point in time when you can be sure to say he/she will exchange their lives for yours with no hesitant when is the point in time when you can realli tell what he/she's thinking the ans? never cos humans are unpredictable, we are, we all hav two sides i realli believe when we are pushed to the limit we reveal our survival instincts it's every man for himself it is i realli believe that any man can be a murderer just give him the right motivation or have you never noticed, murder, no matter how advanced our technology is has never advanced beyond the simple statement humans.murder.humans hi it's mi again just watched amazing race.. it's so stupid especially the weaver family i can't stand them.. and the paolo family like what the, how blur can u get .. anyway i hate myself nod nod* ..maybe i'm just tired.. but..it's like..i dun feel the same towards you anymore but.. i still like u (i'm refering to gal plsss.s..) i just dun like the way you changed. dunno lar so luan but one thing's for certain i dun like my negative feelings.. feel so aww crap .. i just dun like how i feel .. whatever..call pris to chat.. gdbye hi hi it's officially the exams-over-can-rot-till-death period yay today's geography paper ..i finished mcq in fifteen mins..hence i took my own sweet time with the map it was so crap mostly i just tikam my way through anyway tomorrow going k box!! with sheryl jiahao ann weisiang (?) anson and naomi and somemore sheryl darling is treating :D err..btw, do any of you feel "lost" cos no exams? i was at a lost this afternoon because i find my whole afternoon very boring so i slept .. den i continued reading the wonderful book killjoy by julie garwood ..which i rmb wrote a very nice book i wrote abt murder and a priest and a church or something something lidat she's good wee .. and thus, after i finish exhausting my eyes..but still not having conquered the book, i came online.. looking at losta demos and deciding which one to download in the end i didn't cos they all suck i hate games of war combat so boring so "guy" anyway..den i looked at i am bored site which also feature stupid games hence i decided to watch the tong xin yuan which is oso extremely cliche and stupid .. okay maybe not but i find the family so totally devastating .. so here i am again blogging and waiting for five mins till amazing race ... chill ...HI HI!!! EVERYBODY!! WE HAVE ONLY ONE GEOGRAPHY MCQ PAPER BEFORE WE ARE OFFICIALLY FREE!! .. and who cares about geography anyway.. think maybe i'll bring a dice to help mi decide.. pur lease i dun even noe what on earth is a cyclone.. ..anyway today was additional math.. ..it was erm.. ..not very hard but not very easy either -.-" .. err.. i dunno whether can pass.. i haven't count the marks that i can get.. dun think can choke up forty.. MY GOD I NEED TO PASS BADLY!! PUR LEASE!! pls pray i get mr lim kiang wee to mark our class..pur lease .i need to pass. very badly. pray very hard* studied very hard lar..weekend do physics..den monday dat time devote all day to a math and got everything quite clear..den i onli spend two plus hours on bio .. and very proud to say i think my bio paper should be able to secure a b. ^^ .. shoot mi ..but this stupid paper..cos it didn't realli test on the last few chapters la! .. what liver how would i rmb la .. shit and the intructions like shit.. what.."describe briefly" SEVEN MARKS!!..i wrote -.-" very funny next to the instructions.. ..oh yar..den on one of the paper in section a i oso wrote "i wanna sleep..hurry up.." .. cos i finished one hour before time..>.< .. whatever i think all the triple science like walking corpses le .. everybody falling sick.. i sick..junjie sick..den all of us look like we haven't seen sleep for such a long time.. heh..today mr ttp was sooooo cute!!! he came into our class during bio..paper one..den everybody was like "huhhh." waking up from long sleep.. den he say "stretch yourself and take a deep breath..or else fall asleep ah," .. den he went open all the windows to ventilate us!!! soooo cute!! i'm sooo touched lar!!! TAN TECK POH SOOO CUTE!!! (shoots glares at mg and pris who say he not cute) sooo cute!! ..anyway..finally over le the horrible exams.. but.. .. i very scared of results .. *prays* hi hi.. .. ahhhhh i'm going crazy i think i'm going to fail my physics paper tml like.. i dun even noe what the fuck it's talking abt lar what the.. die for sure liao lor ... AHHHHH .. feel like crying.. no lar..the onli subject i will cry for is a math .. which..the brainless machines of anderson has nicely put before biology.. i seriously doubt their brain capacity.. .. do they think we are morons?? it's obviously a scheming act to make sure we die for at least ONE subject!!! .. okay for people like mg. shut up! ... ahhhh .. i going to read bio later.. for just one hour .. err i try .. i hate i hate exams.. hiz hiz ..it's me again shit monday got physics.. pris stop giving mi the i-dun-hav-physics look.. and mg stop giving mi the i-dun-hav-bio look .... ahhhh ..actually wanna watch the shi zi lu kou..very funny..see who is the guests den watch... wanna do physics ten year series.. ... err i try lar .. amazingly, my bro wanna watch the gigolo show.. what shit is dat? .. my brothers are amazing.. ..yesterday waited for second bro dat time..wait very long..so i smsed him where is he.. he replied..wait lar, i in toilet shit......... ... i replied -.-" happy shitting ... actually i find that i hav more in common with my second bro den my bro.. but i kanna influenced by them both.. .. ..mm..nowadays everything going very smoothly.. i hav this bad feeling next wk will suck namely physics and math test .. and bio ..dun remind mi i'm in TRIPLE SCIENCE... WEE .. ..listening to gao shou .wilbur pan..very nice.. actually..listening to a lot of songs.. .. okay i'm stupid better study later fail how especially a math.. a math a math a math (trying to psycho myself) dun worry, i'll go crazy very soon when i vision myself failing end of year.. NOOOOO hee hee .. i am VERY happy.. hee .. wanna know why?? .. becos.. i bought.. IPOD NANO!! ...wahahahhaha~~ ..i'm going crazy..but i am very damn happy..no more buying of cds..heh..just download just download...yippie i'm not dat rich lar..mi and my bro share..each 170 lehhh.. arggh.damn ex.. den the most stupid thing is..this morning saw the newspaper..singtel if you sign contract for three years..got FREE ipod nano FOUR GIGABYTES.. ... ... .... whatever nothing is gonna spoil my mood..hee ..it's like so damn thin..and small..the first thing i thought was "whoa, what if i break it.." and it's BLACK.. whaahhh ..okay okay, another reason why i so happy is because..i bought the kind of notebook i wanted..those binder files wan.. heee ..all at funan.. i luv dat place.. =P .. I AM VERY HAPPY!! and the best thing is..ipod nano dun even need mp3 files..wma can le..heeee ..okay okay, studying..must study..so dat my end of year is PERFECT.. heh, i forgot to say one more thing why i so happy.... .. cos..I BEAT PEIXIAN!! hahahah she got ipod mini.i got ipod nano!! .. no lar just for fun de ..hahahaha kzkz..i shut up..later you all beat mi.. ... .. YAY!! IT'S THE WEEKEND PEOPLE!! WE HAV ONLI THREE DAYS MORE TO BEAR BEFORE WE ARE FREE!!! ...weeee .. noe why i so high? cos i quite certain i will pass emath.. WEE!!! although the second paper i got 10 marks gone.. but.. doesn't mean i can't pass.. ^^ .. so i'm quite happy HEE .. okay..maybe the results cum out i wun be so happy lar.. wadeva la.. listening to songs* ..yay!! 終於你身影 消失在 人海盡頭 才發現 笑著哭 最痛 ..mayday's zhi zhu ..very nice ..haah i noe tml math i studied some .. okay i did lar .. ..sometimes i think i deserved the marks i get.. ..那女孩对我说 说我保护她的梦 说这个世界 对她这样的不多 她渐渐忘了我 但是她并不晓得 遍体麟伤的我 一天也没再爱过 .. it's the onli song i like from huang yi da ..it's very nice ..i spent my time reading j.d.robb betrayal in death damn good .. i think it's eve dallas is the strongest potrayal of character i ever seen..plus roarke..damn good why dun u people try it sometime.. it's so damn funny ..the onli book i actually laughed a loud when reading.. chuckle more like .. math math math no one ever updates their blog now.. update leh i very sian so wanna read la ..^^ just wish meiyan happy birthday..seldom see her anymore..but still rmb our hard days in volleyball .. hard times produce gd friends.. =) ..wednesday they say going k box.. .. can't wait.. whatever..i dunno what to say.. .. just feel stupid studying something i dun even like... i find it easier to study when humming songs.. hahaha .. not funny anyway..i think all of us are going to konk out on friday.. cos everyone of us is like a freaking walking corpse.. everyone is like a mechanic droid programmed to do papers den chunk the knowledge to some unknown box in our small grey matter in our small heads den feed in new knowledge which we will den regurgitate .. for five days till the weekend when we shut off our pathetic little brains and rot .. .. that's a walking corpse for u two sciences two math to go stuff i hate .. wadeva yoz .. why i sound so happy yay i going to do quite badly for chem.. .. section c already minus twelve marks. twelve fucking marks dun feel like saying where went wrong it's my own fault but the worse thing is..i studied quite hard for it..yet still make the same fucking old mistake .. lidat lor .. you know in the past i always dun like people when they cry over exams.. but now..i think i can understand a little why people do that .. it's just so fucking sad when you can't get something u noe right .. and maybe sherhan is over reacting over studies.. but.. she scores what can i say .. just feel like..sympathy..cos i oso noe how much it sux.. tml is e math paper two.if i dun do well i realli can die really can die .... okay..stop talking abt dying..cos no way am i dying over studies .. such a waste why die over something i dun even approve-studying whatever i need to sleep .. tonight maybe .. hi..it's me again .. qian nian deng dai you wo cheng nuo ..i like this phrase alot.. .. i dun wanna see math no more.. somebody save me~ .. really.. according to jiahao i hav no problem passing amath cos i actually passed the 50% for the last three terms.. but for a math it's another matter i'm very scared realli if i realli managed to score maths..i'll be so damn happy.. .. i dunno why my math realli sux ..i feel so damn lousy..as if not being able to do math dictates whether or not you are lousy. which is like so not true .. cos i rock at other stuff..just not math just not math .. i dunno what to do if i realli fail my math..how to face my mom.. time check :6.20 i'll start work at seven..do ten year series.. .. you know sometimes you just wan somebody to sit there with you not saying anything and holding ur hand? that's what i wan now .. but it's useless .. cos the more i think the more depressed.... ..no lar .. it's just today was raining i was so happy .. why i like rain: #1 : it washes the earth clean #2: it seems to signify a new beginning #3: it's not hot anymore #4: you feel as if your worse troubles are going down the drain with the rain #5: there's no assembly #6: you feel melancholy as you stare at the rain and listen to songs by e.g.david tao #7: the raindrops formed a very sad rhythm tapping on ur windows #8: suddenly all the memories of the past cum forth as if the rain is summoning them #9:i just enjoy feeling sad cos feeling happy..is kinda..short feeling very.."teenage" now.. rebellious..frustration..and sad .. today's math was a flop i couldn't score definitely not and i dun get why my math so bad .. really dun ..it's not as if i dun try i did ..i realli did ..went studying with pris and mg and anson today.. den anson left den pris and mg talk abt math.. think they noe i very sad cos i got very depressed by the end of it.. .. so now feeling terribly depressed.. think i'm realli going to fail everything.. .. den what i realli tried.. later going to study chemistry..already memorise sulphuric..and metals periodic table QA.. later prac mole..and some others.. try lo .. what else can i do my math already so damn lousy.. feel like dying.. feel so damn lousy realli.. sux hi hi it's mi AGAIN ..nowadays i just love my blog anyway i know tml is elementary math .. dunno why they put elementary cos it's not elementary at all .. shit those people who like math (jiahao anson junjie).. amazingly it's all guys so guys=geeks whhhaaahahaha ..i studied lar..studied the notebooks..studied some ten year series..studied the past year papers.. dat's it ..i noe i suck at math i actually slept three hours today ya noe..cos i couldn't resist the sleepy sensation (sounds so..sensational) ..den..i haven't study literature yet.. according to pris..must memorize quotes.. whatever la hor? anyway... our class 3/7 english compo is marked by miss joanne lee!!! god bless the gods who gave her to us.. or else..going by the standards of our paper two sure die le .. today's paper sux la .. i am talking in phrases the myth very very nice!!! qian nian deng dai, you wo cheng nuo .. very nice lar! i wan the soundtrack the vcd!! somebody buy for mi!! i wan i wan i wan!! ..think tml realli going to fail .. how HOW HOW HOW ..i can't believe if i realli fail math..den next year die le hor? i have never envisioned myself dropping a subject.. .. ... whaaah!! ..mi talking with jiaping and gary about end of year chalet.. can't wait!! i realli luv my primary sch friends..hahaha .. eh math sux pride rox the myth rox math sux .. see it rhymes ..>.< our whole life is revolving around sucky and rocky stuff (..sounds very ice creamish) ..anyway. .. i realli dunno what to say exams realli has exhaust us huh ..anyway..tml my dad fetching mi~^^ why so happy.... ..dunno leh i just like my lorry haha .. i need medicine lar going cuckoo.. i wan my myth!! .. ai shi xing zhong wei yi bu bian mei li de shen hua ..last round of the song den watch the pride.. den after dat forget it i dun wan memorise lit le just read through see can get what den get wad ..lidat lor ..sometimes i think i can spend my whole life dreaming ya noe what i mean? hi it's mi again.. .. today's english paper is perverted so damn hard nothing to say ahh!! i wan the myth soundtrack !! i wan i wan!! but dunno when den got sell i wan i wan!! ...whaaaah ...i wan lar! OMG..THE MYTH VERY NICE LAR!!! okay lar..the storyline maybe a little..ermm..unimaginable..but it's still nice ..i just like shows that link pastlives and this life de can.. .. ahh and it's very funny too^^ .the story is abt this archaelogist jack played by duh jackie chan and his friend tony leung called william..den william is a scientist researching on anti gravity..den he enlisted jack's help cos he rmb got a "myth" in some city..i forgot..dasca or something lidat..where there's a floating coffin..so they went..den realli got this beautifully engraved white coffin (i wan one lidat when i die) floating..den it's inside this tomb lar..above the tomb got this indian man floating oso..actually is cos of this meteorite during the qin dynasty.. .. den the show keep switching from qin to modern day.. qin is about this meng yi general played by jackie den his mission is to protect the korean princess that is going to be the concubine of the qin emperor..den on the way very hard la dat kinda thing den fall in love..den go bac dat time right..err..the princess very not happy..nvm..not the point..den the emperor grew very ill..the ..what is dat called? advisor? oh yar sabo the meng yi general cos he asked him to go bring bac the immortal pill budden on another hand asked the other general dunno wad to say he fake imperial edict..and to kill him.. den the meng yi got himself killed..before his head rolled..yah..he ask one of his subordinates bring the immortal pill bac to the emperor (alamak so loyal) den the stupid advisor thinks the pill dun work so wan the subordinate and the princess to try first..in the end realli works..den in the future you see this huge qin palace floating right there with all the soldiers and horses immobile..fossilized le..den onli left the princess and the subordinate guarding her.. actually..the whole story line is abt how the princess..realli immortal..stayed for like a thousand years waiting for general meng yi who is the past life of jack..budden when she realize jack is realli not meng yi dat time..she rather stay forever and die in the cave.. it's gd lar especially the scenes..realli not bad loh..just realized something..i like horses a lot leh..ya noe those kinda gu zhuang shows where always hav horses on battlefields those kind..i think very nice lor the myth is very..beautiful lar..the jing4..what mr tok always say although..yar..jackie very old hor? but actually it's still not bad lor ..realli the scenary realli nice..hard to believe there are places like these when all we see everyday is anderson secondary and its coffeeshop opp it.. ..just imagine there are such waterfalls, such palaces somewhere on earth with such a rich culture.. ..doesn't it make singapore so damn shallow? .. i think so lar ..okay..anyway..my mom made us change seats..luckily no people sitting at the seats we taking..cos ..i chose the last row before the "cannot take that row" which is supposedly occupied by "ahem" ya noe ..if you not buddhidst maybe you dun understand yup..my mom very superstitious ask us change seats..i was like okay lor .. anyway i noe i'm supposed to study for math i noe and chemistry and e math paper two on friday (i checked) i dunno why i'm updating my blog two times a day okay i noe cos i couldn't wait to share my wonderful feelings abt the MYTH!! ..i noe i'm supposed to study lar i did some questions when i came bac.. erm realli i did dun stare at mi! i did lar! but okay i'm going to watch pride later until 8.30 den i swear i will go math till ten okay..okay make dat 10.30..two hours .. i try lar hor i realli cannot stand to look at numbers.. esp when my mind keep flying off to rmb scenes of waterfall horses and loyal warriors.. ..sometimes i think the old kinda moral values is more..erm..dunno how to say people in the past are more loyal den us now lar ..and everything is about life and death..which maybe is bad..but somehow.makes life much more worthwhile maybe people in the past die like..30+ yrs old? but they lead a more proper life den we do ..how to say.. i realli think so lor maybe i just wanna escape from this studious reality into something more exciting bet u anything i'll dream abt the myth tonight ..dreams are realli special eh? i hav dozens of dreams..so many i can't rmb.. but hey, i realli wanna develop a machine that enables you to record ur dreams..or like able to access ur dreams like playstation games like say..programme it so that you are going to hit this realli qian da friend in ur dream.. and you'll wake up feeling so much better cos you already vent ur anger out in ur dreams so in reality you wun find it so hard to see her stupid face ..isn't dat nice ..den you can also motivate urself via your dream .. ahh dat would be useful huh? i need motivation realli major motivation i just can't seem to get math some people just dun get literature i just dun get math why i like literature : cos it's more humane than math it's just dat simple why i like languages : you dun hav to study to pass and what's more just with 26 letters and dunno how many strokes you can create another whole new world in ur words and essays .. so much more wonderful den graphs and numbers and algebras .. okay forgive mi..i noe i've offended math geeks like anson and junjie =) .. but serious la i can't wait for jc or poly or whatever to come i just wan math outta my life i wan music and film and words to fill it no more numberals no more algebras .. but.. bac to reality we still hav to study.. study study study jia you lo .. i'm thinking about some stuff doesn't realli makes sense to mi but i realize the older i grow the more stuff that doesn't make sense to mi why do humans always like to overanalyze stuff dat's what i do anyway i realli dun like to do it but i do it whenever i'm free..or i'm too bored staring at numbers .. it's weird..we onli hav one heart, two atrias two ventricles.. we onli hav one brains and fine, dunno how many neurons .. but it's amazing.. we hav so much feelings huh? even watchinga movie is exhausting cos you experienced so many damn feelings at one time .. going through life is even more exhausting cos there are times in ur life when u dunno whether to laugh cry or to just commit suicide .. it takes a lot of courage to commit suicide ya noe ..although i can say i do hav certain reason to commit suicide, at least more substantial den sherhan's reason..ahem..i never contemplate suicide.. ..proud aren't we. i'm just thinking abt those people who commited suicide.. dun look down on them okay.. no body wanna commit suicide maybe they are weak..but nobody wanna be weak ..ever thought of it dat way? if someone stronger than them ever ever notices them and lend them a hand it wouldn't end up that way if somebody even take notices omg..i cannot believe my mom she actually wanna wear a CAP while watching show cos according to her the air con keep blowing at her head..>.< i was like "OH GOOOD..DUN BE SO OR BIANG LA!!!" ....i almost screamed the house down where got mother lidat de..>.< and no, the air con was NOT blowing at her head..or else i would hav felt it too.. cos my hair is not so thick until cannot feel anything...-.-" ...yah see..the mysteries of mothers and cinemas.. err..blogger is going crazy again anyway..do u guys noe how stupid and ridiculous and unreasonable cathay is?? for a senior citizen to watch ANY show..it's onli 3.50!! haiyo..i was like..wa lao why you all so lidat huh.. mi mom and i going to watch myth later lar ..den mi, although so much younger than her..hav to fork out so much more than her kk.. i shouldn't complain since she's the one paying for all our tickets ^^ ..anyway..today's geography paper..dunno whether to say it was disasterous or it was very very good cos i finished 45 mins before time den it's like..i think i missed out a lot of points? no lar..i just think i did write all the relevant points but hav this bad feeling that since i finished so early means i write very little hence must hav missed out some points whatever it's OVER!! tml english paepr..yay!! dun hav to study!! yippie..set..watching the myth with mom at 4.30 heeheehee i'm an evil daughter wan my mommie to pay for mi .. hey but she also gain lar i take her out to watch show and interact with this living world leh or else i'm afraid she'll rot to death at home into a patheitc puddle of mould hhehhehe i very evil i noe grins* wadeva la..anyway..we hav how many subjects to go? tml-english (tick..dun need study) wed-maths (DIE!! LATER GO STUDY..) lit (tick..i am so ready..^^)thurs-chem (whatever la, couldn't fail right) friday (dunno le i neva check see..my attention span onli for four days..so long these four days we endure and STRIVE TO IMPROVE OURSELVES should be alright la hor? i am blogging more than usual..cos nothing to do lar ten mins later i'll go do math.. GOD..HELP MI!!! MATH!! AHHHHH eh..the post i saved this morning was gone anyway.. i'm sooo disappointed with myself cos i onli managed to study geography this weekend..nope, not anything else think i'm losing my edge yada yada yada huh nah..i noe i noe must study..for my BEAUTIFUL dream...jia you!! WAHAHHA..mg..cannot watch red shoes.yay!! somebody has finally realized the sadistic influence those kinda shows have on us poor innocent souls (of cos u are definitely not innocent..) nooo!! >.< dun beat mi!! mg is violent!! ..kz.i'm lame in any case..jiahao say can go his piano teacher's house to learn duet..^^ ..nice thing after one whole month of mugging hope it's worrth it i'm gonna work hard tml and tue!! and for the rest of the wk!! cos weekends i always tend to slack cannot lar hor wadeva..geography SET..cos mi and pris tested each other..okay lar..we got all the main points>.< if we fail or score very not good well it's just bad luck >.< later going to watch charlie's angels den twin effects.. it's actually quite good ya noe u biased people .. i'm going crazy.. serious i think i need to major destress.. wee! ..mm..nowadays got nothing much to think abt..i think exams have rendered us all into shallow people who are obsessed with numbers and points.. seriously..all other issues..siam! ..i think after the exams den we will feel so damn exhausted..den when we get bac papers dat time..some people's reactions will den piss us off again.. i'm generalizing ..haix..but it's humane lar..what else can we say right? exams..i realli think that they should scrape it off just for the sakes of sparing our innocent souls..~ look, all our souls are tainted with the stress of exams!! shit i'm realli going crazy kk..i'm thinking abt a year later after o levels.. choice one : jiahao said somethinga abt going to jc to major in music and since his cca record is as pathetic as mine..i dun hav to worry abt him outshining mi and him getting in without mi..^^ choice two : go ngee ann poly alone to do what i like..films and media choice three : go hwa chong jc to study journalism blah blah let's see first lo .. sux lar i can hear the geography paper telling mi i'll fail to ans whatever it's wanting mi to ans i can hear it!! ahhh!! stupid stupid stupid..i hate geography..okay fine, i dun hate geography but you hav to admit it's like the most boring subject on earth lar?! .. maybe not maths ranked near but because there's dear mr ttp so it's not as boring i spend all my time admiring his lovely moustache and highly wise demeanor.. okay i'm stupid i admit it i self admit it and proclaimed I AM STUPID!! ..so why do i hav to sit for exams?? being an idiot is not bad la hor..got free food and drinks cum entertainment in woodbridge .. dun be stupid today is a saturday but us poor mortals have to suffer the terrible fate of studying >.< WHYYYY arggh anyway..today's piano lesson was surprisingly good..didn't get scolding..think she saw i was too tired to bother le.. later..going to..study maths..and geography..and..err..if can manaage..chemistry.. chemistry first right? k later go check whatever la.. i hate studying..after three essay topics already wanna sleep forever.. dun wanna think abt anything else can't wait for end of years..can go for chalet with pri sch friends!!! yay!!! sooo happy!!! okay it's just TWO weeks people..TWO weeks!! we must ENDURE!! endurance!! then we will savour the FRUIT OF OUR HARDWORK.. i'm suffering from hypocritical syndrome.. >.< so? shoot mi |
