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Normal's Overated.
sokmuiam a cynical person who hates orientation and the ridiculous rah rah atmosphere. shares a love-hate relationship with ku-ster and the piano. god should populate the earth instaneously with adults, thus skipping the absurd toddlers and squealingn babies fan of korean shows and the rude ah jun mas, secretly think bae yong jun is not bad looking. listening to classical music on the train is a waste of my battery. Dislikes babbling women who are not efficient.adores House. Thinks that friends are sometimes a burden Adores Xinyun immensely. Life is too short to bother socializing with people I dun like. You either choose the pill and live your life barely feeling your toes, or ignore the pill and accept pain as part of the life. Secretly clings. Sometimes. |
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random quirks
my student made a guess regarding my age and said i was fifteenmr ku insulted me by saying i look like david carrdine whoever dares to say there is a certain resemblance better be prepared for my wrath. plugged tagboard
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Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
yay!! today is friday! happy birthday to mg~! i can't believe she's 16..she still acts like an idiot.....sigh an idiot with deprived child hood..double sigh anyway..today is a nice day cos chinese paper i dun understand one bit but it's okay, the thing abt languages is, you can always crap =D i still had forty mins after i finished..so i started thinking abt piano pieces........ den in order to comprehend my piece..i started to play using the table...-.-" so i appear like a mad woman gosh nvm... anyway, oh yar napfa. yucks i suck at pull ups seriously dunno why i suck, but i do onli 3 -.-" at least i passed k otherwise.it's okay...oh yar, standing broad jump oso sucks........onli like 160 which is a far cry from previous records.....god bleah anyway, after that went to eat with felicia pris naomi and mg cos felicia wanted to eat singapore stuff we o nli spent like 3.50 each...den very nice haha..ate kway teow (very oily) popiah, hokkien mee, satay, dumpling noodles, chendol, ice kacang..... quite full satisfied* wad the hell mood is totally spoiled my mother forced me to go to this diploma seminar..speech, talk whatever u call it supposed to talk abt the paths after grade eight cert pls, i have difficulty passing it la and she keep saying it'll do me gd why must i suffer for two hours for info that i can easily ask my piano teacher? wad the fuck and she say what i neva prac piano again again again again VERY FUCKING IRRITATING LA wad the hell go and die can i neva said i like classical music when have i ever said i like classical music HUH? i onli say i like music but i dun live in victoria era i dun worship bach or mozart or whoever shit k ...... i like music but you seriously diminish my passion for it yay yayy yayyy!! (i feel ridiculous that i'm feeling damn happy to see my blog again) can't believe today is wednesday it's like..i have been living on coffee and panadol for the past three days..... monday a math and english..was okay, at least i noe i'll pass..noe that the shuai ge very happy cos she'll most probably get bloody full marks again (hz dat sucker) ..den after a math paper..got headache.. went home..mug again for ss and bio............(was like a mad woman pacing in my already very small room reciting to myself) popped panadol to curb the headache den down coffee again (shit, i'm getting addicted since the caffine dun work on me and it realli taste nice) tuesday bio and ss..was okay again, in fact it was quite not anderson-standard considering they usually like to torture us until like shit..but yay, ss sucks ..the time constraints..i stopped four mins before time's up...............finger cramped until..... den headache continued, accumulated from monday... went home, was bloody tired..attempted to go through chem once..slept at 4 till 5..was shocked awake cos i dreamt i failed everything (shit so sherhan) den continued to groggily mug..den had my dose of caffine at 6+ again..was more energetic after brief talk wif pris..den mug chem again till 7 7 till 8 watch xin niang 18 shuai..rox! so cute la haha..den pop another panadol to keep the headache at bay den 8 start on geog......all the way till 11..in between 10 took another cup of coffee... realized anson haven't even start...that idiot jerk genius..pris oso mugging... and you noe something that freaking cup of coffee worked.................... i couldn't get to sleep till 12.45..and i tossed and turned all night throughout my sleep and woke at 4 .. but the gd thing is, i dun realli realli feel tired.......... and of course today we all feel damn cheated. cos the chem and geog was totally managable.............................. my poor body.............. anyway, gonna start on physics later at 5........ 5 hrs of mugging..surely it would warrant a pass??? ..those bloody bio chem people..tml onli take lit so damn unfair! no lar haha anyway, this whole week like just flew past.. it's more studying and studying but hey, surprising, i feel a push maybe there's hope in reviving my drive to ace o levels after all.. den i was thinking..maybe this was what life is all about??..i mean even if you are at work..if you keep doing the same old stuff everyday with no new challenges...wouldn't it be damn boring??? ... treat exams as challenges ..erm? anyway, e math and physics..two more to clear!! chinese and lit dun count haha jia you!! spent today quite uneventfully..... went NTUC with ruth first..den after her mother gave me a lift bac mrt.. reached home..bought KFC..watched LOST den started to get ready for sleep.. mother asked me to sort out all the old vcds and cds..... den got engrossed in it.. sorted out quite a lot of andy lau and zhang xue you... den got a lot alot of what 1999 1997 1998 cds... den tried to get an hour of sleep.. futile..cos mother and father talked too damn loud..... and i realli hate my brother for mistreating all his cds.... i hate it la you buy a lot waste money nvm..cos i believe cds can shou chang budden the way he treated them.. wa lao, just anyhow stack them without their covers.. if not this cd put in the other cd's casing.. wad the hell la like so many cds dunno go where i very qi you noe to see cds treated this way i noe i noe i'm very weird but everytime i buy cds and something happened i'll heart ache you noe dun need to be in tip top condition la they just hav to be safely in their casing that's all what the hell anyway..den i spent like two hours listening to each song and making sure they're okay you noe..cds from 1997 work..and jay chou's ba du kong jian actually spoilt..................... -.-" goes to show (nth nth!!) yah..so where was i? oh yar..i used disc man and went through every song.. den realized i got a lot of old songs.. songs recommended (worth listening again and again) (or i didn't realize how nice they were) #1 ben xiao hai by andy lau #2 mu you and jing yu by andy lau #3 zhui jing bi jiao fan (the full version, you ain't heard anything if you haven't hear it before) by zhou hua jian, ke shou lian and ..and..i dunno the other's name -.-" #4 cong er fei by zheng yi jian from feng yun (so damn short but so damn nice) #5 xu yuan by gu ju ji and liang yong qi #6 cheng li de yue guang by xu mei jing . . . can't rmb all now.. later.. anyway..they're realli nice la you should try doing it..just take out all your very very old cds..den listen, the songs that you can recall and hum together are the songs that are realli gd the rest..they're like just flings oh yesh #7 ting hai by zhang hui mei surprisingly you noe lee hom's voice sux from the past seriously dun ever try listening to his old songs suck until dunno how to suck dun quite sound like him you noe cannot rmb anymore.. but anyway, old songs are realli worth remembering.. wrong, there's no such thing called OLD songs.. they're all melodies..and melodies should be everlasting.... hmm..i realize that i smile like an idiot when i heard ben xiao hai and zhui jing bi jiao fan the true versions..very damn funny songs that are ..you noe casual and relating to yourselves are the most worthy to rmb..... you noe, those kind with the singers laughing and feeling stupid while singing the songs -.-" just a note i noe some people will think that i've wasted like the whole day on stupid meaningless stuff.. some people, might not even have the luxury of forking out like almost three hours just to listen to old songs and remembering..... i noe sherhan wun, i think kum boon wun either. in fact i dun think a lot of people will do it....... but it's just so much more rewarding den doing homework.. you listen to those songs..the memories cum flooding back...... songs have that kinda effect..i noticed sian it's raining again =) feel like sleeping spent the whole afternoon in the library with ruth felicia and ankita, seperate two tables la studied geog...ruth studied ss.. sighx the cafe so ex la wan buy stuff oso nth ..-.-" am online again..gotta type out the aspiration essay..yucks la..i got so low haha..cos damn many grammar mistakes it's okay it's okay (calms myself) there's always a hz hahaha! no laaa this kinda small thing..dun need to over-react anyway, i got 18.5/20 for geog..yay! this shows i'm not a lost cause for human geog gd gd den managed to pass my e math oso 21/35.. it's 60% k la, twenty percent onli..i got 12 outta twenty percent....... work harder lo gtg! yay just finished writing the testimonial for naomi so crappy la i write until she's cheerful instead of idiotic that's a big difference okay she's idiotic, retarded not cheerful la and okay anson you are crappy and senseless..say you nice dun wan..... okay lo, you idiot, you still owe me shaker fries -.-" who ask u mahjong win so much den somemore diao us den we thought u angry worrying needs a lot of energy you noe!! ahem i didn't do anything today leh very what cannot la go and study liao must be kiasu abit cos unlike some senseless people, i study le still can fail leh e.g. today physics prac test WHOAAAAAAA i screw up real bad laaaa the stupid FG line right, i tot it's just that ONE line so in the end i prick all my needles there ..... so i have a negative gradient graph yay screw up like shit .. but heng got a lot of people same as me phew at least not so pai seh maaa fail for sure la (i think wun la, mr yu so cute, so kind hor) .... what crap bye bye!! ps am hooked on chu mo by chen wei lian, and hui you na me yi tian by jj yippie get to blog -.-" i'm like overwhelmed by enlightenments..like wad i told cybil anyway, currently having a discussion with pris about politics..yesh politics cannot believe i'm dabbling in that taboo affair.. like what i said, i'm still like too young to brood over these kinda heavy stuff ..just watched the LKY thingie on channel eight.... he's damn sharp for his age ah..am envious ..maybe if i play mahjong every single day after i reached fifty, and swim every single day..and pay losta money to have doctors pampering me....... maybe...i'll be half as healthy and sharp as him -.-" and people keep saying he should step down well hell no, if he stepped down, i'll be damn sad ...wait i didn't came online to talk abt politics......... as i said, i was ovewhelmed with enlightenment.. but i dunno whether to start.... okay fine, i read this book alien asian by a singaporean simon tay..cos it's on the reading list mind you and not because i wanna read it.. and i found it realli boring actually it's abt being asian in america well, it came back to haunt me this morning.. actually, yesterday cos i remembered distinctively the starting lines "i was born in america, not in the country itself but in its shadows" something lidat and it's true can you imagine an english medium movie without it being holly wood based? ..i can't initially, now trying very hard to do it why are our dreams always associated with the americans? the world is so damn big then i started thinking abt how singapore can be characterised.... theoretically we should hav a colorful disposition.being multi cultural and all it's very different if you compare to the unstable countries like israel palestine, denmark and all that when your race preference, your skin color matters like hell and our lives are different. yet i neva felt ...well, grateful the landscape is different, the colors, literally and figuratively are all different i felt it this morning. it's...kinda ovewhelming i guess i dunno how to put it in words it's just as if everything suddenly becomes so ultra focused and you see everything from a fresh perspective hey, if you dun hav time dun carry on reading cos this is going to be a long long entry okay anyway, that's that had another .....erm, relevation this morning at piano my piano teacher is quitting end of this month, think i forgot to mention it it's that kinda strange relationship we're not realli close close but she taught me quite a few stuff that kinda relationship..quite hard to capture what with my mother saying she's irresponsible and all that i dun get it, she's not irresponsible she's just being human den combine with the experience i had on friday we went out, felicia me pris naomi ben kakei nigel anson it was at best, funny, at worse, hell cos i seriously couldn't ..click it's been too long couldn't find back that same old comfort we used to have i still rmb the times in 2/6 when we had so much fun at the back row it's still there, the memory, but it's gone now i still treasure them i guess, but it's different we are all different we feel like strangers trying to cling on some common ground to talk abt you feel your grip on someone slipping away inch by inch i dunno whether you do, but i feel it all the time den i started thinking how much i'll regret it if my grip starts to slip with gary and kellie i'll realli be damn pained they've been with me for like so long..8+ years to be exact..and it's realli horrible to have that kinda friendship and den hav it taken away from you i know that feeling sucks but it's changes, and the onli thing that's permanent is changes (so says naomi's tee) i just wanna you know store that kinda friendship tightly, put a tight lid on it so that it'll neva escape i dun wanna wind up stuttering in front of gary and kellie i dun wanna wind up hesitating to say what i want in front of them i dun wanna wind up fidgeting when i'm with them i like being with them cos they make me laugh i know i look fierce (cos i'm a killer) it's a side of me.. i dun like to laugh all day long and giggle and be happy go lucky it's not me, i'm not brought up that way (and i hope the comp dun hang now) but in case you dunno, i like to laugh, but of course, i dun just laugh laugh i like to be around people who makes me happy, makes me comfortable makes me recall memories with a wistful look and den i realize, nth is permanent sighx so there third thing i can't seem to find that drive anymore ..that, drive you know to wanna excel sometimes i feel like.....i know too much i watched this korean show today the male lead said " there are lot of people hurting in this world, if all of them wails and complains like you, then the world will just be too noisy a place." he says the evil stepsister is like a car with a spoiled brake going around crazy the stepsister said " you still dun get it, do you. a car with a spoiled brake can only carry on because if it stops, there's only death." it's true i dunno why that statement sticks in my head have i ever said why i like to read and watch murder mysteries? why i like to watch shows so much? cos i like to analyze the characters, esp the bad ones cos i believe that man has two sides sometimes the bad side surfaced often it's buried the bad people are alwas more complexed, cos they have conflicting inner thoughts which we all hav, we just sweep one perception aside i just feel pity for..people who are driven to ..you noe i noe i noe, there's born evil i believe, realli i do some things you just can't explain you can't explain why some babies are born here in singapore with a stable country with no natural disasters and blessed with progress package and why some other dozens of babies are born in africa where they can't even stay warm at this point in time ..i feel like analyzing myself i like books, shows, music, and okay fine art (i neva admit to ruth) because they reflect, convey messages i like the rain, cos it washes the dirt off i dun like the sun, cos it's too bright, and life isn't bright no matter how much glints off you i like to be stupid, watch korean love comedy shows, laugh like shit and fall in love with the male lead and just be stupid for a while i think too deep (i think) but i guess everyone does, it's part of life to think i noe who i am, what i am, despite the mask i wear (at least i noe, some people dun) i like to be around humorous yet realistic people, like pris anson gary kellie cos they make me laugh while keeping me in check i always wind up hanging around with people unlike me, like naomi and ruth, i think because they help complement the stuff i need to carry on i used to adore academics achievements, i do, now i dun, cos i realize that perhaps only 1% of people gets to be genius, the rest of us gets to be the inspirations of the genius i want to be silly, to act cute, to whine, to wail but sometimes i'm not in the mood for it i like to think i'm sensitive but of course you will say i'm not i think that people should be excused for their wrongdoings, their character cos everyone is flawed and no one is perfect..and characters just dun change easy i know i dun look it, but i relent easily ....... forget it i'm having a nevous breakdown a panic attack gonna get a new diary .... actually, if you open ur eyes and look, you'll find bigger issues other than you, yourself, moi it'll help to numb the pain in ur life by focusing on others' pains even though it's a little selfish i realli realli feel like sleeping points at you all and laugh! haha!!! u in sch, i at home! cos i sick..so went home halfway during recess supposedly wanna study math.. and do math homework cum lit .. but i'm feeling very very sleepy.. but if i sleep sure will fail. and after last term's wonderful results on math how can fail!!! .................... jia you!!! pss i wan learn korean =) yay yay!! i passed 2.4!! 17.48 leh but at least i passed.. was pain like shit..the first time i cried due to the pain........... ah nvm nvm, at least i passed!!! =/ but leroy failed..hope he can pass his retest..den 4/7 can all pass..yay! i neva let myself down haha..at least i passed la anyway.. am sick -.-" slightly la, not enough to make me wanna get mc yet.. passed down from mom...-.-" nice anyway, still hav bloody math test on thurs oh btw, the piece of homework? i got 2/10..yippie! so nice right..mr tan say i poor effort lo ............. bleah it's okay la mr tan is lidat......but we neva let him down during tests right at least during tests our presentations are all correct de mostly la -.-" and oh yeah.felicia is back!!!!~ haha, missed her we gossiped a lot -.-" and for some reason we are forever trapped in yishun north point and popular.. bleah anyway, hope to go out this friday that day me and cybil were talking abt life after o levels.. i will finally get my hands on PLAY STATION THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay!! den she say cum my house bake..den can teach ruth the goondu how to play oso ahhh, the life but for now.......chiong lo ..still hav math test and homework.. suck la am feeling sleepy and i noe. i noe. i still have one ton of homework.. and i still have math differentiation test.. and i shouldn't have wasted one hour reading the newspaper -.-" but it's supposedly gd for ss (what kb said) but actually, i dun read current news..i read thsoe columns..-.-" it's so much more interesting.. who wants to know abt the general election... i still have five bloody long years to go before i'm forced to vote..... oh yar.i read so many damn stuff i read sunday times..came online went www.talkingcock.com read somemore.. den i still intending to read newsweek.. damn in any case..i'm glad i already finished the stupid math paper it's amazing i noe, but i'm gonna say this -.-" i find math so much more fun den other subjects now................ damn, it's the anson-crazy-siao eh virus...... sighx, no no, i can't like math i'll turn into him or chai. which is not a gd thing this is NOT normal..... i think it's just me..i dunno, maybe you experienced it too.. it's just that after i watched a show (must be a gd one) i'll feel affected by the mood... and i'll feel fan because of the problems of the characters and i'll totally get sucked into the plot........ i repeat, i dun think it's normal....... anyway, five o'clock channel u rival..it's realli gd hmm..today is a happy day =) dunno whether i'm supposed to say..but erm, it's a gd day haha not realli fun fun but it's just...good? yah, you noe what i mean. haven't touched any homework.. and i'm thinking..what is lfie realli all about...... what can i possibly do, or no, what could possibly happen to me to make my life more..look-forwardy..... i dun dread my life.. i just..dun look forward. and i wan that feeling...badly sighx hi hi today is wednesday it's very dark now cos it just rained and i feel like sleeping -.-" very much but i still have LOVELY geography test tml...... seriously, no matter how much mg says geography rox i still think she sux cos her voice seriously kept ringing in my head.....................and she nags.........alot ask naomi how many times i said "shut up" in class.. cos everytime i'm doing something, she says"are you all listening" .................. nvm the thing is ..i was very enthusiastically memorising the housing................ i'm very pro at housing ..den semi pro at the transport problems.. den towards pollution and water supply.................. -.-" cos i'm very tempted by my bed it's saying "sleep on me!" ....... nvm, still got two hours later in the night........ erm..nth else happened these few days? ..actually quite a bit happened these few days.. but i'll just treat it as if it's non existent.. if not i'll get that kinda feeling again..as if everything is changing and i can't do anything abt it which sucks oh btw, the campus superstar... he sucks k i admit he sang the superwoman nice but.. as huizhen and i both shrieked on monday ... HE SPOILED LEE HOM'S KISS GOODBYE!! ..god, his ah gua voice realli sucks when he sings dat....... and the lian ai da ren.. i dun think it's nice oso.. just disgusting oh okay, not as disgusting as teresa..yucks, she's like lovey-dovey towards junyang le leh so yucky disgusting .. school is very boring and heavy and we hav losta homework plus losta tests very kns can .. sec four realli sucks........... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kk la..... rest for one hour go watch show.. oh btw, monday and tue de korean show xin niang 18 shuai at channel u very cute watch it to destress! i like sobbing korean show (cos it's so damn fairy tale) and these kinda sutpid shows (cos it's funny and it also winds up being fairy tale) -.-" i'm a ha-han what the fuck even my comp hang what the hell go and die am fucking pissed at my mother she say i neva do household chores, neva do this neva do that, say i treat her as a maid, say that i should hire a maid, say that too bad i cannot, say that father always sleeps say this say that say she work from morning till now say very tired cannot rest EXCUSE ME you work four days outta seven, i study five days outta seven, you work five hours, i study six to perhaps twelve hours you get paid i dun you dun hav tests and exams and fucking piano pieces to try to comprehend but i do SO STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL GULITY what the fuck no wonder i so vulgar she just scolded wang ban dan, ji bai all these straight in my faces i feel like screaming at her, she say i neva wash dishes, say that i very lazy MY BROTHER LEH? HUH?? HUH HUH? WHAT THE FUCK, BROTHER DUN NEED TO DO STUFF IS IT, DAUGHTERS HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING LA when my parents die, she got think abt the role i hav to play or not? my two brothers are fucking not talking okay and you already failed as a mother you werne't there when i was crying like shit you weren't there when i was cyring like shit on my bed ou weren't there when i was crying like shit at the beach you didn't apologize even though you screamed at me that i was crazy even though the doc says otherwise you didn't do anything that a mother was supposed to do but oh, cum to think of it it's not onli you IT'S THE WHOLE GOD DAMN FAMILY I HAD TO BEAR EVERYTHING MYSELF, EVERY SINGLE THING do you hav any idea how it feels to feel as if you are hiding a secret? a shameful secret? that you can neva be honest with anyone? that you can neva feel like a clean sheet of paper??? what the hell do you know about so freaking shut up !!! pissed pissed and more pissed was pissed when reading the msg den came online even more pissed so much hostility so many pissed off faces, so much conflict so much friction i guess that's why people feel irritated when i keep radiating the pissed off anger aura..... today's flag day .didn't realli live up to their expectations ..i did my best la.. had so much to say but now dunno where to start from what i hate most #1 people treating me as if i'm invisible when i'm doing flag day #2 other students playinga fool when they are supposed to be doing flag day #3 people who just fucking put aside studies #4 people who just assumes one side of the story #5 people who can't see stuff from all sides #6 people who wun listen to others' opinions #7 brothers like mine who do nothing but extort money from mothers like mine #8 brothers like mine who just blast their music like nobody's business when they come home #9 growing up because den everyone is a hypocrite #10 knowing something is wrong yet there's nth to do abt it ..what more can i say life sucks my life dun realli suck i guess but everything around me ..what the hell can i say today's april fool i think the day when the ONE up there who creates life and earth should be named April's Fool day because it's just simply fooling us around isn't it? life is a big joke the moment you are born, you are destinied to die no, on the other hand i heard this phrase somewhere before, no , read it somewhere before for those alive, the only thing you can do is to remember the dead, so that in some sense they carry on living on earth but life's realli a big joke at least that's what i realli think because of life, because of the simple act ofstaying alive, we lose sight of whatever is truly important goals, dreams, hopes, friends, families all gone |
