All is Fine.

Normal's Overated.

sokmui
am a cynical person who hates orientation and the ridiculous rah rah atmosphere. shares a love-hate relationship with ku-ster and the piano. god should populate the earth instaneously with adults, thus skipping the absurd toddlers and squealingn babies fan of korean shows and the rude ah jun mas, secretly think bae yong jun is not bad looking. listening to classical music on the train is a waste of my battery.
Dislikes babbling women who are not efficient.adores House. Thinks that friends are sometimes a burden Adores Xinyun immensely. Life is too short to bother socializing with people I dun like.

You either choose the pill and live your life barely feeling your toes, or ignore the pill and accept pain as part of the life.

Secretly clings. Sometimes.

random quirks

my student made a guess regarding my age and said i was fifteen
mr ku insulted me by saying i look like david carrdine whoever dares to say there is a certain resemblance better be prepared for my wrath.

plugged

MySpace Music Playlist at MixPod.com

tagboard

>
ShoutMix chat widget

archives

credits

Design: doughnutcrazy
Icon: morphine_kissed
Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon.

mel's blog is getting more and more..while, poetic
anyway, jia you? for your pursuit of ur happiness =)

...i'm pondering a very serious question
it's very serious indeed
..
and i think somehow i've changed a little bit
a little little bit

should i
or should i not drop H3?

random: why does px look like she's having so much fun at poly??? cruise trip after going cambodia! not fair!

.okay so yes back to the question
shld i drop?
..it's hard to rationalize for you guys
but it's a difficult argument
hz says i shld talk to miss chia.
sigh i think i will.

..
let's just do math first

today is a happy happy happy day =D
it's the first time in very long that i feel like i spent my day really really well

early in the morning woke up had a fit with my mother who forced me to eat breakfast
den went to bishan park to meet enid
where we attempt to rollerblade
hey i officially declare that we are relatively decent at it okay
in the sense that we're both MUCH better than enrichment day
... at least we could move some distance without difficulty -.-"
but it was really really a sad affair
to illustrate how sad it is
picture this

me and enid stranded some distance away from each other
joggers jogging by staring at us like we're some orang utans who just lost the use of our limbs
me staring helplessly at enid while pretending that oh no, i'm not moving cos i dun want to, not because i can't
...there were some kind souls who pulled enid along "let's help her out" after looking at our pathetic pathetic states.
thank you people, it just goes to show bishan park has alot of nice people =D
.but still, there were inconsiderate show-offs who zoomed past us to showcase their terrific skill at blading.
which of course, we totally lack
but hey, we totally improved lah so yep was a good morning
and we sweated like pigs.

BISHAN PARK IS NICE THOUGH
i've never been there
and it's near somemore
pris mg we shld go there sometimes!
and there's a doggie run area!
SO CUTE omg
there was this dog who looked like he just stepped off toys r us shelves
he looked like a soft toy lah!
and he was this chocolatey brown color that's sooo delicious
and cute!
..while not when he pooed infront of us
but the owner was very nice, scooped up the shit =D

my morning was very nice=D

afternoon spent at starbucks with weilun
where after an hr of catching up and procrastinating, we finally got to work -.-"
..i guess it's productive? i used three hrs to finish the bloody recessions
hey, considering i never went for the lecture at all, it was GOOD okay
and VJ's yearbook is nice de loh, even he says so, so yep, i'm damn proud of VJ
spent the afternoon there eating ugly curry puff (it's literally the name) which..was..fatty and oily while he ate the cheap and nice bagel. urgh. disgusted.
and yeah he got scholarships again. the world is unfair. but it's okay, i've admitted already, i'm not scholarship material honestly.
it was good to see him again =D
and to clarify to naomi, hello, he asked me out to study de loh
so it proves that it's not a one-way friendship thing -.-" she says that i'm imposing the title of a friend on weilun....so not true -.-"

and night was spent..eating sharks fin (yah weird my family seems to keep a stash of it somewhere) watching shui yue feng yun..and after which
i feel BLOATED like hell
so i decided to do some housework to work it off
vacuum living and kitchen
mopped living and kitchen
folded clothes
ironed clothes
so i feel relatively lighter
.but actually, i still feel bloated
bleahhhh
..
time to exercise..ahem

..so you see, i'm actually an easily contented person
honestly honestly
all i want is for my mother to shut up, be civilised
my brothers to act civilised
and i'm truthfully contented and willing to do all the household chores while listening to mp3 and still feel quite happy.
see, who says i'm ill-content??

..........
though i'll feel more accomplished if i've actually finished juno and the paycock

i thought this deserved to be up on the honours roll
so yeah, i'm trying to spread mg's new love-lost

From the start, to the end,
I kept looking out for you.
But you never came.
I waited for a really long time.
30 minutes, 40 minutes, 45. One hour.
It seemed like you had forgotten.
Like you didn't know I was waiting.

When you finally came,
you were kept way too occupied.
Like I wasn't important.
Like I didn't matter.

So I had no choice but to let you go.
And you went, without even turning back.
Not even a glance, no sign of regret.
And I stood there, waiting for another you to come.
Waiting as if there's any chance.

Another long long time.
I don't know how long passed.
But you came.
And took me home,
THROUGH THE BARNEY JAM ON THE BARNEY ROAD.

in case you are wondering (i'm pretty sure you are)
she's talking about the bus 961 at NJ/HCI =D

warning: this is going to be a long long entry

before i get started on the really really very sad article on straits times today..
let's talk about the really nice stuff in singapore that continuously makes me feel alive

#1 why is it that on a saturday afternoon of 3pm, the train is BLOODY CROWDED AT WOODLANDS?

#2 why is it that on a saturday afternoon of 3pm, YA KUN IS BURSTING AND THREATENING TO SPEW OUT PEOPLE ALONG WITH COFFEE

#3 why is it that at 11pm on the train from MARINA BAY TO WOODLANDS, there exists irritating guys who have an odd definition of being cool; they brayed loudly like sheeps and extend their skinny long legs in skinny jeans to illustrate to the world how malnourished they are and to assert their ownership of that particular cabin in which very sad (and angry) me was having a pounding headache and was trying to sleep

#4 OR, why do guys at 11pm on a friday night on a train like to cuddle and hug their girlfriends and giggle like a sissy...has it never occur to them that if i want to watch ahbeng-smooch-ahlian i would have stayed at home and turned on the bloody tv and hence wouldn't be suffering on the train?

#5 OR, why do old people actually use their advantage of having white hair to guarantee their seats? i saw this old old old woman who was surprisingly agile in surpassing her fellow old old woman at grabbing seats. honestly.

#6 i suppose i can't blame old people for grabbing seats, seeing as how a young working adult guy can actually sit down when there is an old man standing infront of him. after that, he can still continue to tip his head up and jut out his chin in this "what, cannot ah?" way.

#7 WHY WHY WHY do young girls from the age group of 13-15 just REFUSE to wear simple tees and shorts? and worse, after wearing a tube dress which was actually quite nice, she had the wonderful fashion sense of pairing it with a pair of dirty grass green haviannas...was she going for an elegant nature look or something, cos there's no such thing.

#8 are female specie in our country degenerating or something? cos i saw this woman whom i thought didn't have a spine. she was seeking constant support by her boyfriend and i honestly thought she has a serious hunch or something. but when the door opened, she stood straight and stretched like tall giraffe then proceed to slouch against her boyfriend again.

#9 in addition to point number 7, why do young boys from the age group of 13-15 like to wear long sleeves shirt coupled with skinny jeans, spike their hair in ridiculous direction that makes it look like they were just sniped off with grass-cutting scissors? i had a very strong urge to grab their hair when they were making noisy noisy noisy noises at the concert yesterday.

#10 why doesn't ANDERSON SECONDARY SCH get it that when you ask lower sec students to stand infront of the hall and sway to the music, it only provides entertainment for first row jerks like the guys to film down their forced smiles. but of course, the conductor was very amused with the little bobbing heads and hands before the stage, i supposed it's heartening to see people doing something that's stupid even though they know it's stupid. I KNOW cos i did it before in primary sch and all i could think was "when the hell can i stop, my hands are tired"

#11 my mother asked me to find a PART TIME JOB with LAND TRANSPORT AUTHORITY. i asked her to stop bullshitting. she said why. i said i'm studying. she said, still can find.. do you need me to elaborate on her bullshittyness?

#12 singapore's weather granny is cranky. and we are indeed fortunate to stay in such exciting place where the moment i stepped outta civic centre, it poured, half way to the traffic light, it lightens into a drizzle, once i passed the traffic light, it poured again, before i reach home, the sun was out shinning brilliantly as if nth had happened. i think someone up there needs to see a psychologist fast.

#13 either singaporeans suddenly have a guilty conscience on saturday to catch up on news, or the outlets selling newspapers beneath my house are cheating my feelings. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT OUTTA TWO 711, ONE GUARDIAN, EVERYTHING SOLD OUT? i had to go to the newspaper retailer lah.

#14 why can't parents just dump their babies at home. bringing them out is not funny. bringing them into the library is very not funny. bringing them into the library's studying corner is plain public inconsiderate.

#15 even if you are pregnant and really looking forward to ur own child, you dun have to stare at others babies. this woman on the train was practically announcing to the whole world "yes i want a child i want a child!" when she stared at a mother with her daughter wearing such a CLICHE expression that i should have taken it down and sent it to mediacorp for comparison and teaching references, really, the expression was championing "the wonders of baby, aww so cute~so cute so cute~"

.....
right it's bloody five in the afternoon
and i haven done anything
this is great, totally adds to my sense of competency.

oh and me and xinyun went for vanessa's concert, cos we had complementary tickets from her conductor
who resembles mr goh PE dept
anyway the concert was not bad lah
and MRS THERESA LIM IS NOW VICE PRINCIPAL ALONG WITH KFC
woo!
anyway vanessa, aren't you TTTOUCHED by our sudden appearance? hahaha
i refuse to let her hug me in public because it'll tarnish my reputation =)
but it was nice to hear the AND cheer (the proper one, not the rubbish mrs lim cooked up) and AND school song again. i didn't stand up cos xinyun was with me but i saw ronald xinyi and what's-his-name sitting down looking pai seh oso haha
not a bad night =D

WAH
KNS
GO ON BLACKBOARD CAN SEE UR RESULTS
64.7 and they DON'T round up?
........sibeh kns.

seems like these few days all i can blog about are heavy heavy stuff

and yep, GP is out
but no, i didn't get E if not i would have ABCDE cool sia?
..i got C..which is actually quite bad in my opinion.
but..like what wuyue said, i'm getting abit numb.
esp abt subjects where i dunno where i'm going wrong and dunno how to improve.
so yep
my score for the CTs.
ABCCD.
so cool huh. why can't maggie just gimme one more mark for econs
so it'll turn into ABBCD.
..for some reasons the two loops just look better than an unfinished semicircle.
sigh

and mr najib looked so STRESSED today
i wonder whether he knows
he was so less hyper and enthu and all that
apparently our class is one of the two lower classes of geog.
and they are getting worried for us (finally?!)
so we are having extra human geog tutorial every..tue i think
on the surface our class is like okay-okay. i mean, no one was particularly upset at the news.
but i think everyone sorta like became a bit erm, heavy-hearted.
cos seeing najib so stressed oso kinda triggers it.
anyway, i think we are all quite determined to improve our class.
as in overall marks.
sigh.
what's going on.
but the thing is, we're all so BUSY
busy busy busy busy
sighhhh
..i really wan our class to improve, TOGETHER.

so yes, on an individual level, i have decided to do my tutorials -.-"
and spend every sat or sun revising my work.
..even though it's kinda pointless

quote from my ct
"it's a baad year, baaad week"
..or was it "sad" instead of "bad"
..doesn't matter. i think seeing him so worried has "inspired" me to try a bit harder.
...
i hope the feeling doesn't pass..

oh, the SHUI YUE FENG YUN oso inspired me.
why are the people inside so motivated.
and love CARS so much.
ahem, i of course can't care less for cars.
..but it just makes me wonder, why haven't we found our passion for ANYTHING

AZA AZA 07A14!!!
(aza aza means jiayou in korean=D )

i think exams are shitty for everyone.
even the smartest.
because it's when everyone will start doubting themselves
"am i not cut out for this? could i have done better? did i not work hard enough?"

my results are
ABCD.
i think E is coming up for GP. wow
anyway, by my standards, i think they are rather lousy
(similarly for songhuizhen standards, getting a ton of Bs and As are lousy too -.-")
and hey! i got ZERO for my second human geog DRQ leh
i bet najib and josef are like totally at wit's ends as to how they should go abt teaching us.
sigh, the bottom line is, our geog STILL suck after five terms. and it's about time things start looking up.
BUT it isn't
..so yeah, big headache for us and the poor teachers.
it's not that they dun try.
they try, so very hard too. but for some reason everyone still kinda suck.
..okay i tot my paper sucks to this standard was because i was ..kinda not in the mood for exams when i was taking it.
in other words, i was bored. and very erm, bored.
and can't be bothered.
..ahem, i think i was MOST BORED for GP. so ..yikes, i bet it'll turn out like shit too..

and anyway i apologize cassandra
for saying you were so noisy upon getting 35 for gatsby.
cos yeah i forgot, everyone has different standards
..i suppose your whining should be more tolerable than my sucky-black-face ..
and i admit i tend to get..extremely EXTREME when i can't face up to the facts that i failed my own standards.

so yeah, everyone has different standards.
and i read mel's blog
she feels frustrated that she has put in the effort, but the results don't show
i just wanna say, the results may not show YET but the effort will count.
it's just a phase that you have to get over, because the extra effort WILL count.
and dun refer to people who score better as "smart"
we're just more inclined towards this kinda bullshit stuff, which doesn't even count when you start to count abt life's achievements
..
after ten years no one will be remembering how many As we got for JC.
..since everyone will score the same anyway
but i know she feels more upset with herself. like why isn't anything improving even though she's put in the effort.
it's the disappointment with oneself i think.
i felt it too, so so so so many times.
cos it's just the feeling of "i can do it, but why arent i doing it"
sigh, i dunno what else to say except that sometimes, things just dun work out.
but try sleeping.
don't you get the feeling that when you wake up, that moment when you wake up and you dun really rmb anything abt the previous days and all the frustrations, that things are blissfully simple.
i always have that moment before everything starts crashing in.
that's why i dun study in the morning.
it's just too early to spoil it with so many expectations.

why must we always live in the environment whereby we have to certified, reassured, constantly checked by others before we believe that we are good?
like most jobs, you'll only feel confident when your boss says it's good
or your peers give you affirmation.
it's a feeling i totally hate.
but it's a thing i can't escape either.
isn't it good enough that you think you did good?
why must it be only good when they give you an A for it.
or someone praises you.

..sigh
life's VERY long.

never mind, change topic
SHUI YUE FENG YUN is a nice show!
hk show with soo many nice actors
watch it watch it
liu song ren is acting inside and i'm so admirable of his character in the show
..gives me faith again that business set up based on the correct moral values can still be profitable and decent.
and that being nice to people who are evil to you MAY work too
but it's the fact that his character is so..confident and sure of his values that impresses me.
and even when he's giving ppl chance, he still exudes that kinda authority.
zzzz

....i shld be doing vectors tutorial le.
sigh

anyway i just read pris's blog
and i have more to say
i really really understand what she said about wanna study but feeling angry that she's not doing anything
like really really
because more than once i've felt that way.
oh, the new show called MI TU by channel eight looks not bad
..
random but neway

and i think that we are quite mean to always talk abt AJ in such a deprecating way
but i really think that their students are much more motivated than us
and today i suddenly told lijie, like you noe, AJ's classrooms not air-con one
den we realize how we take the things in VJ for granted
and yes, i hope AJ-ians can do well in studies too

even though studies is not everything but still.

i think we are going through quarter-life crisis
and i think the person who's having the almost-same frustrated experience as me is Pris.
sigh, is it a cancerian thing?
and pris, you still have alot of friends you noe!

and sometimes i feel that i'm not doing enough to retain the kinda friendship i want.
or relationship/or familyship for that matter
..
okay i can't help but digress
THE AUTOMATIC AUNTIE ON CHANNEL EIGHT SHOW IS GROSS CANNNNN
wear wonderbra at her age
omggg
..
okay again, back to the solemn topic.
..nvm, my mood totally ..dipped le lah
...the automatic auntie really makes me wanna puke

OMGGGG
WHERE GOT PPL WEAR WONDER BRA AT THIS AGE DE LOH?
AND ASK PPL GIVE FREE BRA SOMEMORE
my gosh..i tot this kinda thing she'll be a bit more "automatic" but TOTALLY not lah..
pls just kill me if i become like that
and if lijie becomes like that, i promise i'll do her(and the world) a favor by off-ing her.

..
gosh

monday
is a boring day
..

oh and this is the first time i got complimented for my tagboard =.="
like totally weird
but shameless me am gonna say it here
I CHOSE THE COLORS MYSELF! =DDD
so see, this is proof that i'm actually artistic enough ahem

got back econs and two lit essays today
sigh
the marks are disgusting
64 for econs. which is just plain disgusting.
i noe it sounds like i'm bragging or showing off or something
but different people have different standards.
it's true
like i'm sure cass wouldn't be aiming for C for lit right
so i was a bit disgusted with my econs marks

and.
i'm just plain..ashamed or something of my lit marks.
it's like, it's just that i have this constant feeling that i totally lack the aptitude to do h3
cos my h2 lit is like so shitty
and the people who are really good like cass and jess aren't doing it.
so like, why am i doing it right
xinyun would say i'm over-worrying and stuff
but there you go, i'm a worrier. can't help it

and really have this very very heavy feeling today
like i dunno where i'm goin with my life
and i dunno what i'm studying for
why the hell am i even studying literature
or math
or econs.
does it even help in my life

and i think i'm really rude to my mother
but i can't help it
i just can't help being rude to her.
it's like, why does she ask so BRAINLESS stuff
like she ask me search something for her
so i typed it in, den click on images
den the google printed out the words again, say no documents found
den she keep saying
"there, just now got see the words what"
i said, it's not
"but just now i got see the three words what"
and i just blew up and ask her to shut up

i'm a rude person
i'm seriously a rude person

and i was thinking today
we are all so contradictory
or okay, maybe it's just me
it's like, i seriously think studying doesn't really matter or what grades you get doesn't really count
but at the same time
i hate it when i get lousy grades
you see what i mean?
it's this two struggling feelings

that's why i said today that i wan a job that doesn't require me to compete with others
because if i lose, i'll feel like shit
and i dun wanna have that kinda feeling
it isn't fair to others, or fair to myself

..the world is ridiculous

why can't we just all farm.
it would be a more peaceful place

....
i'm confused, and lost, and totally just...directionless.

BULLLLLL

okaaaay
this is a tribute to

GOH LI JIE born of Singapore Ah Soh kumpung in 1990 23 march
where someone else on earth a major disaster might have happened due to the unfortunate arrival of this ...baby.

Why I Love Goh Lijie
#1 because we'll be losing a very very productive citizen at MacDonald's..the toilets in Macs would be extremely dirty if she's not around to supervise the very very important job of cleaning them
#2 because if not i would lose another target on which i can slap/hit/insult/beat without the risk of getting sued. since the subject really quite adores my insulting. i think it flatters her flattening ego that someone bothers to insult her...or maybe it's that it constantly reassures her of her tiny existence.
#3 because she's so loud that i don't really have to check where she is, it saves me certain neck-cranking time
#4 because there's always someone who loves money more than me and is always there to do part-times with me =D
#5 because she always stirs my appetite as her face resembles a certain big piece of cookie at chinatown.

Why I dun particularly like Goh Lijie
#1 Because she's so cheerful that i particularly feel depressed compared to her.it adds to my depression. She constantly assures me that i'm depressed.
#2 She likes to act cute infront of the camera so much that i'm afraid my poor lens would split soon due to the ..huge immense ugliness that's displayed infront of it.
#3 She eats so much and still remains like a STICK. it's not fair and whenever i look at her i feel like wringing her cos it's just NOT.FAIR.
#4 She bloody can pass her 2.4km run when i have thicker legs than her. NOT.FAIR either.
#5 She's a disgrace to the female specie because she is so promiscuous in her activities..she has so many husbands not to mention she forces herself on them. I pity the males.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOH LIJIE
and pls try to be a better person even for just a tiny tweeny little bit =D

ooooh
ain't my new layout cute
..like i said ------------> there
i dun really like cookie monster.
it's just one of those creatures that i neither detest nor adore. cos it simply looks like it's been picked up from the rubbish chute, transformed/repaired/resewed to become..whatever it is now
so yeah but i find like the layout cute.so i used it
..
not to mention i used up like four hours to find a layout that i remotely like

..and that my brother for some stupid reasons known only to him, restarted the modem twice
so twice i lost everything i've done
URHGHHH
and you've gotta understand. my laptop is ancient and uncooperative. it moans and whines whenever you ask it to restart.
think of it this way, imagine yourself as eighty years old, would you like it if people tell you you have to recook everything you've cooked cos for some reason the gas was poisoned?
........
i'm not making any sense am i??

okay today is SUNDAY
i can't help but repeat that
it's SUNDAY
..it's REALLY sunday
i can hardly believe it's sunday
and it's a sunny five o'clock
..wanted to go blading with enid budden she said that the place was crowded
and we were so disgusted with the prospect of embarassing ourselves infront of toddlers who are still feeding on their mothers' milk that we felt compelled to postpone our "learning-to-blade-plus-fall-down-gracefully" trip
...honestly, what if a five year old just blade past you and all you can do is to crawl behind.
that is so detrimental to our images. so no. we're only going to embark on this adventurous trip when the coast is clear
......and furthermore there were INSTRUCTORS
like i DON'T WAN anyone to come up to me and go "ohhh you wan me to teach you? you look like you need someone to teach you!"
and what can i say?
"oh actually we were taught,just that my little bird brain and bird feet aren't coordinating."
........

i'm blabbering again
but dun deny it
you read my blog for all the blabber right
..

oh yes i read mg's blog
and i'm SO ENVIOUS OF THE BLOODY BADMINTON ppl.
..they look so..well, nice
..why is it that mg always seem to have long lasting friendships huh???

i was being emo just now and i was counting the number of friends i've retained over the long long period of 18 years.
..
#1 peixian (..it's strange but even though when we meet like only once per term we still are quite comfortable together..at least I am..dunno abt her..oh she gave me this nice painting from cambodia..i wished she'd gotten more.cos it looked so lonely and outta place in my room...but thx anyway haha)
#2 weilun (i wonder whether i can count him..since it's more like i'm always dragging him out to do stuff than him voluntarily going out. but whatever. if i dun count him i'm pretty broke)
#3....where did gary go? hai
#3 mg (..after how many years of knowing her..i still can't quite get used to her even weirder sense of humor which might have originated from mars.or pluto...she's simply quite.erm unique)
#4 pris (SHE'S ON A DIET! SHE'S REALLY ON A DIET! LIKE SALAD-EVERYDAY-NO-MEAT DIET! ...i'm sorry i advertised but it's a favor you see, or else we'll keep asking you out to eat. o.O okay anyway......everytime i call her i get the sense i'm intruding on her life and that i'm a pimple she wants gone. cos i'll go hello? and she'll say in this downcast tone , kan ma?)
#5 naomi (unfortunately no she's not on a diet, but she's still adorable =D okay erm, what to say abt her? we talk crap talk senseless stuff ..things that sometimes i dun really understand why we talk abt them in the first place. and oh yes, she is the more unfemale female i've met which is kinda refreshing. ha.ha.ha. sooo cute!)
#6

-----at this point in time sokmui has a distinct feeling that perhaps she's got more friends than she can count. so she's decided not to go on with the list. cos it's getting a bit tiring and draining. and pure confusing and dangerous. what if the people not on the list sees the entry and decided never to talk to her again? oh my------

okay see.
..it's sunday
apparently i say "i dun wanna come to sch! i wanna go home" every morn to kb sl and naomi
if not i'll go "what shld i get for breakfast?"
..i think the biggest problems in my life during sch days is what to eat
.honestly.
and you can't blame me, because the bloody sch canteen is so devoid of human food

okay
it's FIVE O'CLOCK ON SUNDAY
i have barely four hrs before i sleep
sleep and wake up
and wake up to a QUIET MORNING WHEN THE SUN IS STILL SNORING
and I, I, IIIII have to go to sch
have you ever taken a train at 6am? i tell you. you'll be amused by how quiet aunties can be.
it's the only time in the day when aunties don't scream/nag/talk/whine/shout/quack/squeak
but they are irritating all the same when they rush abt on their tiny little feet trying to sit their asses down before any other asses gain possession of that tiny little seat.

things to do.
# write letter to ruth
# sms weilun when the hell he's finished with his test to resume his work of being a postman, if not i'll have to buy stamps
# read my geog readings
# read my newsweek which gives me pangs of regret guilt and shame whenever i look at them (why the HELL did i subscribe again?? it's not as if when i read it,my gp grades improve right? blooooody shit.)
# coordinate piano practise times with JR and SM (no not myself, it's SHIMIN the great. he bluffed me can, say never prac. den turns out he played much better than i did. his little fingers flew all over the keys)

# very importantly. get myself to do all those things.
##stop lingering on the net
###stop thinking abt sch
####stop eating crap
#####I CAN'T~!!

..screams in agony*

okay.
today is sunday

you noe what this means don't you?
IT'LL BE TERM TWO FROM TOMORROW ONWARDS!!!
to quote shunwei : the past two weeks have been SHUANG DAO~~~~
..i dun wanna go back to sch!

anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LIJIE
we celebrated her birthday yesterday
and me and yiling went to ALOT OF TROUBLE TO GET HER CAKE OKAY
we were at amk pizza hut
den we went over to the macs opposite, near the park that one?
and we wanted to get a cake for her at macs
but they dun have candles.and the cakes doesn't really look nice..
so i asked yiling to say "eh you go tell them i left my wallet at pizza hut, we go buy cake"
and according to her, they were quite convinced, since i happen to have a reputation of losing my stuff
so yes anyway we went to jack's place to get a nice choco mousse cake
which for some reason cannot be paid by nets
so i dug out my assets, which after paying, left me 85 cents
to our horror, we dun have a lighter
so we searched high and low in amk central for a lighter
yiling's face totalled crumbled when she saw a pack of five being sold at ONE DOLLAR
85 cents apparently, can't buy you a lighter in singapore
and thanks to yiling's genius, we went into 711
and asked the uncle how much the lighter costs
ONE DOLLAR
yiling's face collapsed and melted away
...
anyway the rest you guys noe what happened
the point being, how is it possible that i can't buy a lighter with 85 cents?
and we were even thinking of finding a nice looking guy smoking and saying "hey! can you give us the lighter? or follow us lah, got a very pretty girl today birthday leh!"
...
yeah we were that desperate

but too bad, lijie's eyes didn't even become wet -.-"""

but it was fun all the same..erm except the part when yiling's denim skirt ripped
..cos we walked into this cordoned off area without realising it and i happily just skipped over the line before realising she was wearing skirt
so you see, we sacrificed alot okay!

...got quite a bit of things to do
oh. i'm declaring officially that i've BALANCED OUT
meaning i'm broke kinda again
it's time to live on canteen food again -.-"
..not in much of a mood to blog..gonna change blogskin den continue.

hmmph
intended to go expo later to buy books.
but aunt called and said tonight going to eat with cousins and all at bedok
some seafood restaurant
called "da shi jia"
i'm feeling bloated as it is already

and i'm still having the feeling of "LOST"
wait i just forgot why i came online.
..
SHIT
...anyway i still need to copy econs and math notes
den sunday do them
tml..celebrating lijie's b-day..
..
my god
i'm doing it again
wasting away my holidays doing frivolous shit

..wait, not even DOING anything is more like it

oh i watched taboo yesterday
it's HORRIFYINGG
omgggg
the first part was abt the tribe in thailand wearing metal braces on their necks to lengthen it
sounds not so terrifying right
budden when you look at them
it's really quite..i can't really quite accept how they look
den it was abt full body tattoo-ing in japan
FULL body leh
omgggggg
it's painful like crap lah
den it was abt body mod in US
they showed the split tongue
AHHHHHH
omggg
and ear loops that are hanging all over the place
and putting intrusions under their skin

..i can't really accept it lah
being the protected little child in singapore
budden i understand it's part of their culture..and how they wanna define themselves
and i tot..like who has the right to say no to them right

freaking shit
i still can't rmb what to do online
this is blooooody irritating
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE??
HORRIFIED*

today has been a ....
TIRING day

feeling fab this morning..rollerblading
all i can say that me and yiling are definitely not cut out for rollerblading
-.-"
the instructor (who looks like huabin seriously!) had to hold out the wrist guard for me FOR me so that i noe where to slip my palm in lah
..damn stupid
he said "uh do i have to hold your hand and wear it for you?"
in a nice way lah
but it was so embarassing!
and our whole gang sorta like mistook the knee guard for elbow guard and all
..yiling was like "oh! no wonder so small lah!!!!"
.....and we were like "omggggosh"

in any case we were the losers of our group haha
basically look like waddling giraffes on wheels
but me and enid are determined to master it
!
dun you think it feels nice to like learn something new other than geography
haha
and it's nice that people feel inspired by the activity they were assigned to
like xinyun wanna learn yoga
hiphop dancers they all
(oh yes nicholas and dennis joined the hiphop workshop later on...if there were people to beat us in our failures of rollerblading..it's them..i think they are definitely more..graceful on the soccerfield and floorball court.ahem)

after that the concert was.
bullshit
stellarstory was goood
i really like them alot
but the hall 987 sch invasion was CRAP can
the guys started moshing or whtaever lah i dunno what the heck is that
and we got jostled to the back rather roughly
mel was quite upset lol
..imagine when i saw may that she looked quite happy
-.-"
i was increasingly feeling very very sian

oh after sch me xinyun yiling went to bugis
where i ate my lovely tea shake hut haha
den finally got presents for they all loh
and a belt for myself
for some reason i spent a lot of money again
even though i only bought a belt diao

but it was nice =D

.i feel lost even when there's no sch
this is bull
i feel lost when there's sch too
..like i've been living too along already
which is just simply SAD

hmmph
i'm waiting for my hair to dry so that i can go causeway to rent and prac piano
anyway mg's 101 list was simply ridiculous
...
OH MY !:(@#$&135 7124 8(!$&!p#&@ GOD
...wakao
my pus-oozing disgusting scraped knee almost dripped disgusting oozing pus onto my bed
phew. lucky i wiped it off before it did
oh yes i made a brilliant save this morning at volleyball
dumb but brilliant
but before that, i simply must praise mr peter wee my PE teacher for the term
he's SOOOOOOOOOO nice
omg he let me and yiling pass pull ups you know! it's ridiculous!
i tot i was surely doomed to fail
and i was correct lah, but he let us pass.
omg
oh oh yes we're playing volleyball this term
and i scrape my knee by sliding along the pavement trying to save a stupid ball.
..sigh old habits die hard. auto response to a ball falling is to save it

and my scrape knee is the perfect sign of telling me that my bio system is perfectly functional
it''s been oozing pus and antibodies
..gross
and it's turning into a huge patch of blue-black

oh anyway
VJC IS HAVING A FULL DAY OFF ON THURS
there
just to spite miserable earthlings at the other end of universe called AJC
ahem
i realize VJC teachers are in a league of their own as well
i mean, obviously us Victorians are special
but the teachers are..
the PE teachers have this whole deck above the canteen to themselves lah
but i think youll probably mistake it for some HDB crowded corridor
there's towels, tee shirts, slippers all over the place
and i witness miss lim screaming from inside a shower to any teacher to on the heater or something
it was EXTREMELY cute
awww~

oh and xinyun still has very incomprehensible moral issues
apparently going with me to bugis to satisfy my teashake hut craving is the "wrong thing to do"
becos being sick she's supposd to go home and rest
seeing as how she skipped cca
so going out with me would mean "dui bu qi my mother and my cca"
so yep here's the bottomline,
dui bu qi wo is perfect alright
...
the point is, she has MORAL ISSUES CAN
critical can
omggg
i've never met such a fascinating creature as her

isn't the first picture cool

and the towers look kinda cool, credits go to yiling's fantastic camera (unless mine which makes them look like toothpicks that have rusted)

in any case

i feel much LOVED

cos unlike priscilla who suffers from perpetual hallucination

i DO have a lot of readers reading my blog!! woot!

cos i have had random ppl popping up and asking if i was alright

omgosh

and here i tot i was only ranting to myself

omg...it's scary to think that jialing the rudolf nose has been reading my blog since pw!

.................

i have no idea whether this is supposed to be flattering or freaky -.-"

but oh yes

I LOVE 07A14

i think if i've been stuck in some other class (notedly the science classes with..maggie as ct) i'll probably have a BORING BORING BORING time in JC

but because of all our exciting members and very nice CT (who doesn't noe half the time what is going on)

jc life has been really great

i'm honest

and truthfully grateful for this bunch of great ppl =DDD

today melissa is very sad

sigh

and lijie oso

looks like the world is filling up with sad ppl

..i think it's the age eighteen

contrary to what most people think, eighteen year olds do have a lot of things on their mind

more so when they have no inkling what they're gonna do in the future SIGH

it's a pity cos today was a truly beautiful day

i went jogging (after binging on carls junior with enid at marina square..shld have asked mel out cos we were saying she really seemed so sad) at the field behind my house again

the sky was REALLY blue

and there were few clouds

and the sun was super bright, rare as it is

and the grass were really green

i noe my descriptions aren't exactly j.k.rowling but c'mon, use ur imagination

anyway i sat at a busstop to admire the view before i realize the busstop has been due for upgrading for..several mths as it is. tsk

wish i could take a photo and show u guys

..crap

NLB just sent an overdue slip to my house

-.-" my library bks are WAY over due

.well.

ahem

..as pris said long ago

there must be some "kind citizen" feeding the library fund through atrocious overdue fees.

if not where would they get their money right?

so yes i'm simply being a "kind citizen"

..........

dun gimme the "yeah right" look

anyway i realize i haven had a proper photo taken with naomi mg pris and guys for a while

come out!

oh and enid that idiot

her cheapo thumb drive from china (bought by her mother) freaking eight GB

i think my laptop totally dislike its foreign components

cos it refuses to cooperate

my whole laptop HANG like SHIT when i plugged it in lah

.....................

ah shit

how am i supposed to comfort lijie and mel

sigh

..thinking of something.hmmph

once in a while nicholas sparks would be in this great humorous mood and write superb stuff that's just SO..well, so real
"The Choice"
it's a great book
i'm only past chapter one but i can tell already
=D
it puts me in a great mood

it's really like very like-life you know what i mean
it's REALLY good i dunno how to explain to you =D
but i'm really glad i threw away the wrapping and read it today

anyway this is the kind of life i like =D
like right now
all alone in my room talking to may and lijie
listening to music
writing letter to ruth
thinking about stuff with no one to disturb me
and everything else being so quiet

i slept from 2 to 6
despite waking up at 10 this morning
goes to show how exhausted i am
for some reason that i can't explain
but luckily i did, cos now mood much better=D

even though everytime i think of h3 lit, i get like anxiety attack
..thanks to the reminder by may whose blog address is the most..complicated one i've seen
montagueandcapulet.
i was like "WAT???"
she's such a ROMANTIC lah
according to her if a guy plays piano for her she'll be soo soo touched
so yes to all SSP people, if may ever has an admirer, pls send the guy to me
i can squeeze him, wring him dry by charging him exorbitant piano fees before sending him off to charm the skinny ass off may

oh..she's off to watch rouge
the new show by eunice olsen
i like her =D
but i'm too lazy to get off my comfortable bed, my emo room and to the living room to watch it
ahh

ohhh
i watched my girl last episode=D
it's SO nice
sigh
it's just nice
dunno how to tell you
it's just nice
-.-"

I DUN WAN FREAKING SCH TO START
OMG
tonight would have been perfect if not for the fact that i have to wake up early tml!
..(can u see my thoughts?)
..i'm (intending to pon sch)
..(oh no)
...........(this is a shameful moment for me)
nods nods*
(how is it possible i keep wanting to pon sch?)
shakes head*
(but sch is such a , borrowing mg's phrase, BARNEY boring business!)
(and..further more, if mr chan announces full day tml, i'll feel totally like socking him)
................
oh gosh

xinyun just asked me whether i got do homework
are you kidding me
my lecture notes aren't even filled completely
HOW TO DO?
this is called
XIN YOU YU ER LI BU ZU
the heart is willing/ but the flesh is not
=((
awwww
what a predicament!

i'm a bit high now lah
=D
sleeping does you good you know

back to my girl
i think the actress (what's her name) is really really good you know
it's not often someone can act the look of being loss
like after she lied to gongcan
she had this "what the hell am i doing to my life" look in her eyes as she walked
and it's like she doesn't really see where she's going
only the "wth did i just do" and "i'm totally screwing my life" look
..
trust me, i know exactly what she felt.
sucks

but the SHOW IS GREAT =D

Okay enough enough i noe u guys must be screaming for me to shut up le

omg here's that feeling again
see ah
it's 1030
if i sleep too late
i'll wake up feeling like shit
but the thing is
I CAN'T GET TO SLEEP
den how you tell me???
the direct solution is to NOT GO SCH right?
..a"(@17349;37 512$t8(@:#(&$%@#& %!@$
..............
freaking shit
that's the conclusion i kept arriving at
..

..crapppy

photo quality sucks. blame wuyue lol
from left: wynne, shanti (no she's not indian) yan wen may me wuyue
we look like tourists posing infront of accessorize lah

i think i'm growing a little desperate to find something to do with my life
i've been blog hopping
been looking at expo and esplanade events

went out with ocip SSP yesterday
ssp stands for samsengpo.
i have no idea why but yes that's the name of our clique
which just plain doesn't make sense
but it was a great time=D
and let me just warn u guys
the HK cafe at marina square has a HORRIBLE manager
simply horrible
when i asked politely POLITELY if we could have those round tables cos more cozy he said that it'll be squeezy
i said "we dun mind, it's alright"
and he actually said that "then okay loh, fan zheng bu shi wo"
WAD BULLSHIT
and afterwhich he continuously checks on our table just to see what stuff we ordered
BLEAH
do we look like bitches or do you just have some vengence against female specie?

anyway i really really dun wanna start sch
i'm super sian
i'm just not rested yet
been having lousy mornings
cos for some reason everyone in my house suffers from a loss of hearing
DEAF
they must be
cos they had to scream and shout every single syllable before the other party can understand
and thus i had LOUSY mornings
waking up to a din every morning and just plain wanna slap people

my ah ma is going to my uncle's house again
and thank god the maid isn't there anymore
but everytime when she leaves, i feel like i dunno what to do
had the sense that i was driving her away or something
as for the maid
i can't help it
firstly, i'm uncomfortable with the fact that there's someone i dunno in my house cleaning stuff and laughing at unfunny tv shows
and secondly, i just find her irritating. sigh
i'm a mean person yes yes
go on shoot me

read kenneth's blog and it's quite amusing
his mother threatened to cook his dog
that's like, so incredibly sad
i was thinking this morning that i should get a dog for my mother
she seems to enjoy saying all kinds of nonsense to the maid
so maybe she'll enjoy a dog
..shall suggest to her later
oh yes back to his blog
he refused to study engineering
^5 den
cos if my mother forced me to study accountancy. i'll vehemently scream and refuse to study for a levels.
but i haven really decided what to do
yet

the term social entrepreneur appeals to me
because it fulfils conditions i like
=D
social=social work, helping blah blah
entrepreneur=meaning i'll be kinda wealthy and comfortable
see
material and spiritual boith fulfilled
sigh
let's rope xinyun and her assets in and just go set up a company
and pray that we'll get rich
..this is UTTERLY disgusting

i'm blabbering nonsense here on my blog
because i'm having like a BIG inertia to play my piano.
freaking ANNOYING
I'M ANNOYED WITH MY OWN INCOMPETENT SELF.
URGH

i know this sounds mean and evil
but everytime i hear my mum and the maid cackle in nonsensical english
it just makes me mad
like it's some evil chanting that's repeating over and over again
why dun people just dun talk when you dunno what you're saying
i honestly can't understand what they are saying, which makes me wonder how they can understand it themselves

and it's just plain irritating
ARGHGHGHHGGH
i noe i'm irritating
and i think i'm having a little of the elitist-attitude
superiority attitude
whatever, i never said i was a nice person
and it just plain pisses me off to hear them talk abt stupid stupid stupid stupid stuff

my MOOD IS BAD
bad bad bad bad
i think maybe i was a rollercoaster in my past life
why am i so temperamental
i think being stuck at home just plain pisses me off
and playing the piano turns my mood from bad to worse
it's turning my fingers into potato mush
like MUSH
ARGHGHGHHGHGHGH
I REALLY FEEL LIKE PUNCHING SOMEONE
idiotic.idiotic.idiotic
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i might wind up killing my maid

can u kill me when i turn fifty
i dun wanna trouble my kids or whatever
but if i'm rich, den it'll be alright
i wanna be filthy rich
argh
so i can just throw it into your face to shut you up

yeah i'm in a bitchy mood
shoot me
i'll be happier

to show what that i'm not completely depressed and still has the capability to hope

why i'm grateful for being me
# becos i have gd friends who dun mind just sitting down at HK cafe,annoying the hell outta the waiters by ordering ala carte one dish by one dish and sitting there talking so much
# becos i have gd friends like yip who reminds me of childish joys like squeezing nine ppl into a neoprint machine
#becos i can't give a damn how many days i pon sch so long i'm happier
# becos i still hold the capability to be touched by my piano teacher's playing
# becos i can't help but wanna call up xinyun just to talk crap
# becos i still find joy in buying presents for friends
# becos i find mel cute and mildly perturbed when she gets upset when she couldn't find anything to buy, her exact words were "i'm supposed to be good for clothes"
# becos i have 07a14 whose class blog serves as a reminder of how stupid we are
# becos i have 07a14 as a reminder of a miracle, it's miraculous how we just mesh together even when we are so different
# becos i can walk back home completely forgetting abt everything for just a few moments
# becos i still hold the capability to laugh
# becos i can't be bothered how much money i spent over coffee

time passes.
it passes so everything will pass.
and the most easy way to make urself feel better is to smile

don't you think that piano sounds are like crystilline solids of rain gently rolling down onto marble floors?
or at some times like curtains of water
or strings of pure silver that reveberates in the air

i like the sound of the keyboard on my laptop
i like the smell of coffee beans
i like the touch of piano keys
i like the look of an empty piano hall
i like how it feels to snuggle in bedsheets

sigh
time will erase everything

i had a really really lousy night yesterday
..anyway
there's something wrong with my laptop's resolution
or i think it's just blogger
my words are humongously big

i think i know why i like 07a14 so much
there's no sacarsm
we dun talk behind people's backs
if we're annoyed with a certain trait of a certain person
we say it to your face
there's no sacarsm and no backstabbing
and there's plenty of hugs of stupid slaps on the butts of teasing of ruffling of hair.

i am so tired that i dunno how to say anything
i am so sick of this family

when i was wondering about yesterday i rmb thinking that there was nowhere to hide
there were just so many people everywhere
there's no place where i can be totally alone
i dun feel like going home because there's no place for me to be alone at home
i'm not blaming my ah ma
but there's no room for me at home (literally)
there's just no space

there's just so many things on my mind right now
i dunno wth i wanna do
i just wanna get out of the house
i dun wanna talk to any adults
all the adults i noe are insensible crazy people
stupid ignorant and self-centered

so many times today i just feel like running off
then at the same time, when i was going home today
there's this strong urge to just ..stop
.just stop.
because i realize i dunno where i am heading.

i'm a depressed person. i dun think i noe how to be happy.
or maybe i wan too much to be happy. but i can't see it

yesterday was the first time
i flee my house
i just walked out
after snatching my keys, my hp, my mp3 my purse
just walked out
and i didn't know exactly where to go
it was raining
but i didn't really care
and for once i was glad i rebonded my hair, cos then it covers my face like one huge veil
and i just kept walking
nothing registered except this urge to get out of there
to just keep walking

i winded up at this shelter near my primary sch place
cos that place had the most happy memories
wanted to call weilun cos he lives just upstairs
but didn't
wanted to call a lot of ppl
but didn't
what's the use anyway
it's not like in a drama show
people wun rush to you
people wun happen to see you crying
and even if they did. so what

so i sat there for over an hour just sitting
den getting up walking around
and returning back there
doing nothing in particular

i apologize michelle for missing ur celebrations
but i was too tired to get up early

if i may say so myself i think i've exercised supreme self-discipline.
sigh
i can't decide whether i feel proud or immensely desperate at having spent five hours reading materials about h3 lit on a wednesday holiday week
not to mention that even after pc-ing so many pages and reading so many stuff
i haven even started on my essay
let's reason it out, my logic is that i should re-read all the books and pc them before deciding on a certain frame in which to pen down my superb majestic essay
so i'm betting on my famous pet phrase "it'll come"
..if it doesn;t
i'll probably have to do another all-nighter just to get it down
in any case i realize time's running out
almost has this desire to just not go for michelle's birthday celebrations tml (of cos not) just to buy me some time
so ...
i've decided to stay up late tonight to try to pc finish the bloody books so that foir the next two days i may MAY come up with a bloody framework
there's just too many quotes and opinions and unless you have a photograhic memory, it's kinda hard to rmb what to cite
oh man

it's been POURING
and i've been amazed at the amount of water the sky can hold
it's almost as if it's unloading all rain that's been stuck up there due to a dam
and now it's all coming down in this big shitload of water
not that i mind.just that it would have been sorta nicer if someone up there can cut the powersupply so i'll have an excuse not to on my laptop
..oh this is disgusting

..off to play dai dee with random ppl on the net.
www.viwawa.com
addictive (i played till three am last night)

i am sooooooo confused
i have so many things to do that i'm looking at my keyboard in dismay
honestly
even after writing out a list on my cute little panda notebook (i'll show you guys, it's SO CUTE) i'm still a little confused as to what i should do first

so yeah just a little note
since blogger isn't cooperating
and i can't upload my photos properly onto my blog
you guys will simply have to wait for my amusing entry on geogrocks trip

btw btw btw
pls go to www.viwawa.com
and sign up
we can all play dai dee, mahjong and other games together online
=D
virtual class bonding if you would like

and crap
i honestly dunno what the hell i'm supposed to do now
=(
happy belated birthday to kenneth!
hope you had a gay time =DD

i need specs and coffee
.pls wait
.

what excitement when you see nine emails in your inbox from ur geog HOD on the day of geog exam
and there i was thinking maybe he's providing some tips for us students who's given up and just crawled online
..
turns out it was pretty much useless..

oh, there was ONE good ..erm advice
i'm supposed to noe how gentrification contributes/solves or whatever housing transport and segregation problems
wow.
that's.simply.great
=D
can't you tell that i'm increasingly excited about my paper
..i supposed it can't be more confusing than yesterday's econs paper
..
i took a while to realise that US trade deficit means that US is losing (you see we're under the American influence that US is NEVER losing)
ahhh
the wonders of my own brewed coffee
sometimes i feel like chris
i can't think without something hot, especially in this kinda weather
..let's see..it's been one hr ten mins since the bio paper started
naomi said something yesterday that was genuinely funny (which, coming from her.is rare)
she said something "Darwin"
and i said "oh yes i noe him, charles darwin, the FATHER OF EVOLUTION."
and she siad "nooo.i dun like him. he made my notes SO thick."
it was her voice, that crumpling "no i really hate him" and "why am i studying DNA sequences" voice that was so funny

but like i told her and all others who would listen
when you realize that your lecture slides dun provide content that answers your syllabus questions
it's time to throw in the towel and just smile at najib and wait for the results to come out

not to mention my latest AQ got like THREE MARKS
whoa
i supposed it's good considering many got two?

i have two hrs more to go, one hr more excluding lunch hr which equals to slack hr
..should i do math? or should i just.you noe..like, slack around do nothing

i realize i kinda like exams
=D
it's nice, going to sch just sit for papers
somemore you dun have to talk to people much
den after that can go home straight
..but after exams there's still the problem of catching up with lectures that i pon during pre-exam wks.
-.-"
recession and booms
boo hooo
...
i skipped the WHOLE chapter lah
it's freaking thick can
..gawwwwd

i seriously dun really noe how to study geography
..so yeah, shit
i just realized
i like never study phy geog at all
AHHH
..i'll study on the train
got like two hrs of journey to sch
sigh
..i'll study then
and i'll choose some specific case studies
and HOPE for the best
...
=(

that's all..

http://www.nicolekiss.blogspot.com/
visit this blog
really really VISIT this blog
it's not gossip shit
it's heartwarming things
VISIT it

..ah shit
i did so many things that i forgot what to blog about

oh yes
caffeine screws up the heartbeat
seriously
when you drank two mugs of mocha and go running, seriously looking for death
i almost died out there in the fields sniffs*
but after that felt very shuang lah
currently in the "i've exercised and i only feel like lazing" mood
..feels like a hamster .

or this dog

cute right, anyway i really forgot what i wanna say

next time den