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Normal's Overated.
sokmuiam a cynical person who hates orientation and the ridiculous rah rah atmosphere. shares a love-hate relationship with ku-ster and the piano. god should populate the earth instaneously with adults, thus skipping the absurd toddlers and squealingn babies fan of korean shows and the rude ah jun mas, secretly think bae yong jun is not bad looking. listening to classical music on the train is a waste of my battery. Dislikes babbling women who are not efficient.adores House. Thinks that friends are sometimes a burden Adores Xinyun immensely. Life is too short to bother socializing with people I dun like. You either choose the pill and live your life barely feeling your toes, or ignore the pill and accept pain as part of the life. Secretly clings. Sometimes. |
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random quirks
my student made a guess regarding my age and said i was fifteenmr ku insulted me by saying i look like david carrdine whoever dares to say there is a certain resemblance better be prepared for my wrath. plugged tagboard
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you know when i know that i have to restart and boot up my laptop? when it starts to forget how to scroll down -.- nvm anyway i just watched a BRILLIANT absolutely BRILLIANT episode of house. omg, i admire smart people ..well okay, smart people who make it look effortless. those people who look like they slug out their guts to be smart just looks disgusting. err where was i? oh yes, nothing in the world can shock me outta my drowsy afternoon nap better than a realistic picture of a swollen tongue that resembles the fried potato xinyun and justyne had this morning. and a ruptured eye. ........it was gross and i woke up from my drowsiness immediately. came home to sleep and pon cca cos was having headache i had panadol and i realized, now that i'm thinking back, that i totally konked out when my head hit the pillow. but the thing is. I'M STILL HAVING A HEADACHE. i have this idea that it'll go away after i finish my malfi essay. sigh, just kill me i wanted to finish my market structure frm yesterday and some smaller stuff but it seems like i have no time. ..oh weilun just asked me whether i pon sch again today cos i said i was at home at 4pm. HOW DARE HE!! ..okay lah fine,i can't blame others when i established this horrible reputation myself. ........stupid malfi oh, mr josef today expressed his utter disgust at the text as well! "IT'S A HORRIBLE TEXT!" yeah!!! xinyun and i felt so happy that someone else dislikes malfi. not dislike, abhor. URGH quick post before i chiong and do my market structure that's the goal of today at least it's more realistic than finishing MALFIIIII anyway i feel that i should make a public apology about inflicting you guys with this ardent urge to pon school. it's really all my fault my whole clique is down with this disease. and i checked kenneth's blog. him too and xinyun is becoming more and more incoherent. yesterday i called her and kept saying "i dun wan go sch" in the hope that she'll say "cannot lah you cannot like that okay" which she did so the conv went on like that den suddenly, in the nth time i said "i dun wan go sch tml!" she said, "okay lah, tml you come my house we eat breakfast den do work okay?" upon which i gave a roar of laughter and said, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING?" and xinyun: "oh no, oh shit! HAIYOO!!" ..something like that #1 having stomach ache #2 coffee sucks #3 you noe eating stuff too quickly makes your ...oestrophagus! (i rmb!) contract?? so now i have a cake-induced sore throat. very weird #4 the weather is so hot, the aunties giving out flyers at my mrt station looked like they wanna just shove the flyers into someone's mouth #5 i think i shld get rid of my dark circles. cos i pity the teachers who look at me and get the feeling like i dun wanna attend their lessons (it's true though) oh. i bought an album yesterday bad choice. not really bad just that all the songs are abt the same it's about. A girl left. A boy misses her. The boy sings. Me poor person who forked out 17 dollars listen to cliche lyrics like "i need you to breathe" over here in this lovely blog i wish to thank a few individuals that's made my train ride today a very very poignant one. If you are looking for excitement in your life, why not try to take the mrt train from city hall at 7pm? But if you want to live to blog about your excitement, be sure to prepare an oxygen tank. #1 Mr delicious-looking Blonde Hair He is a short guy with the most delicious hair i've ever seen. They are blonde, gold, and glistening despite the lack of a sun in the horrible train. They look like they've been fried, re-fried and i swear it looks like if i bite them, they will be crunchy. Not that i really wanna bite them. There were so many gel and wax on them that I remember thinking to myself that when he reaches thirty, i'll kiss xinyun if he doesn't have hair loss. But no matter, he was a lovely distraction till he got off at orchard. #2 Mr and Mrs Versatile. She, was a very very sexy woman wearing hipsters and showing off her hips. He was a normal looking guy who was like other guys, despite my constant prayers, short. They had apparently gone shopping and was carrying a huge rectangular box which they happily plop down on the floor besides the middle pole. She then displayed her amazing hip/abdominal strength by leaning across the box, hugging the box, the pole and still reaching far enough to hug him. He in turn tries to hug her back. And so, very very amazingly, in a congested train where everyone looks like squashed sandwich, they look like two lovely sexy stars posing with a metallic gleaming pole beside them. I love them, because once you hide behind them, no one else can get behind you since no one else dares to cross their lovely forms. I had a wonderful time ogling at her hips. #3 Mr Amusing. Despite how loving mr and mrs versatile were, he reached out without any embarassment to grab the pole in between their bodies. His long arm stretched long and lean in between them and created a very very funny image where the two sexy pole stars started to become hesitant about hugging a long arm between them. Afterall his arm must not be as comfortable as the metallic pole. He was terrific, i almost laughed out loud. #4 Miss most innocent. I really realy pity her. I know how she feels. The train must have felt like a myrid of horrible screeching creatures and the air felt damp and humid. She must have felt so alone. So i watched her face turn from a smiling curious sniffing one to a full water-works. Yes, she's this lovely little toddler that was carried by her father who tried his best to keep her awake and alive by lifting her high up onto his shoulders. But he forgot that oxygen is thin up there. She started to bawl and cry and i felt a great pity when he had to stop at toa payoh before she hyperventilates and becomes the first toddler to die within our mrt walls. #5 Miss smartest. Everyone should learn from her. If everyone decides to go shopping at peak hours and carry huge bags of shopping stuff, we'll earn ourselves a lot of space! If you dun get it, imagine this, if you carry huge shopping bags, you'll have to take up space around your legs yes? For your bags? And since i don't think singaporeans are so short even to thrive below the bags, there'll be no one around your five metre radius! You'll have so much air! And of course free riders like me will stand as near to her as possible to bump her bags back at her and snatch the suddenly cleared air. #6 Mr-who-smells-of-something-fried. There's no elaboration here. He smells of something fried. I think i must have been hungry. #7 Miss unfortunate. That's Yours Truly. Halfway through my ride i realized that my stomach ache, which i'd all along atributed to the bigger-than-guinness-glass of latte which i drank at coffee bean, wasn't a stomach ache at all! It was cramps. And the most stupid thing is, i went to the toilet before i left parkway. And so my body decided to play a little trick on me and make my life positively boomingly exciting. Halfway through the trip i gradually grew aware of a familiar feeling. And realized. To my horror. _______ Yeah. I thought Admiralty would never come. And now i'm hurting like shit. That's my excuse for not doing any work tonight. Shall stay up if i can, since that jug of latte since to be doing its work. photos from saturday night...didn't take any from ballet under the stars.. these are from the light installation at national museum. super pretty especially the last one 
oh must must blog abt this exchange. there was this dance abt aborginal tribes in australia or somewhere and the dancers were wearing nude costumes with only their underwear in black lah..cos aboriginal this two caucasian kids infront embarrased their parents by asking at the top of their voices "mummy! why are they showing their underwears??!" and they repeated the question several times, much to the amusement of us mature people. yep. i just realized that house season four is on every monday 10pm. yay! so it's gonna be three hrs from now till ten of lit trying-to-understand-the-contradicting-bastard-called-bosola yep. life rocks. Labels: http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=6361342 yiling is right i am maladjusted let me tell you this it's easy to tell people that they have to be filial, to respect the old but it's not that easy to do it yourself i remember sometime very long ago i was telling weilun, you can dislike the responsibility you have towards the elderly, but you can't shirk the responsibility so here i am, i'm not shirking my responsibility i moved out of my room at 11am this morning and i'll be honest i'm not liking it i hate it sometimes even because i was disrupted from my sleep cos my mother called me to remove my stuff i went for a nap at 1pm plus plus after i greeted my ah ma. i couldn't sleep properly cos the maid's voice is too freaking loud cos my brother is having a flu and i'm feeling hot and i didn't ask him to on the fan so i sweated alot on the bed so at 4pm i moved to my mother's room slept on the mattress on the floor where there's no fan again. the main purpose of carrying on sleeping despite the fact that the more i sleep the more of a headache i get, is to avoid looking at the maid and ahma. and i'll be honest and frank again i'm not kind and nice and good with people i'm not. when my ah ma is around i always get the sense that she expect me to do something suddenly talk to her in fluent dialect or something sorry, not in the near near future. so at 5 plus pm i finally heard my parents coming home so i sat up, feeling preposterous angry it's just anger with no where to go and i swear if my father even tell me off for eating on the bed in his room i'm gonna growl at him. i've ALWAYS ate like that, dun tell me i can't do it now. and i can't find a corner of the house where i can use the laptop in peace without people trooping in and out. and worse, i wanted to spend today to do literature. to be in a good mood to do literature. but i spent the whole day sleeping. damn pissed off and i didn't even sleep properly didn't wanna go out to study cos i was tired and wanted to nap. and i needed the laptop so yes i'm maladjusted. and i don't like the elderly if you say you do i think you're lying i'm irritated angry pissed off frustrated and having a headache. and i still have to read the stupid plough and the stars. shall blog about BUTS another day. today sucks to guest: the link to download the drama songs is this http://qingling.wordpress.com/drama-songs/ wheras for lin you jia's you can just go to www.sogou.com and type in chuan shuo by lin you jia, there should be quite alot of links to download from and to may: see lah, sacarstic woman^^ oh yes they showed the vid you didn't see? can just ask edwin to send you or something you were featured quite a lot of times! pretty may=)) ..i wanted to blog but got tired -.- later den i know this is my third entry tonight in less than an hour. i dunno how to put this but every single time i talk to my mother i get very bu nai fan i know people like yip will say that i shouldn't be like that but i dunno why i do it. and she just plain scares me. not she, but the growing old part. do you know how painful and how much suffering you have to go through to get old? some people get old gracefully some people don't like her. everything starts to malfunction. everything starts to wear down and thinking gets slow, everything becomes sluggish and inefficient. yes i'm unfilial. say what you want. but i'm scared of being like that if i have to go through that process, please just kill me. say that i hired you just kill me when i reach 55 it's horrible. i swear i never want to be like that i don't think anyone really knows how i am like at home. that day i was telling enid, that you guys have never seen me angry or even near-angry. mg and pris maybe yes. but jc friends no, if anything i'm the most amiable in jc. but at school it's a different story. i get so FED UP. i just get so FED UP. like what i told everyone, everytime i come home all i do is to just watch my tv, do my stuff and i hate it when people talk to me. especially to remark some ..brainless remarks. if you ask me to analyse myself i'll say that i'm angry that my mother is getting old sometimes i think i'm just born with this kind of anger. irritating shit. now i can't do my work properly. you know the times when you really wanna piss everyone off just so someone can quarrel with you? it's about now. i just typed something horrible. deleted it. stop telling me i'm jaded. i know i'm jaded. ............. if i type out everything i feel. all of you would be shocked. blog entry 1300 i must blog about this xinyun has eyebags! for the first time in her life! unfortunately she made this discovery half way thru our phone conversation so she started exclaiming "ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!" "i never have eye bags all my life before leh!!!" apparently she used to think that having eyebags very cool cos no matter how little she slept she wun get eyebags but now when she has them, she says these "but now i dun wan le lah!" "wo bu yao le" "bu yao la!" ..den she further insulted us all by saying "yi ding shi lao le" ........thereby implying that i've never been young since no matter how much i sleep, i have eyebags ALL THE TIME. when i hanged up her whole family were exclaiming at this miracle her sis was like "oh my god!! got eye bag!" "but you wear specs cannot see lah" xinyun: "can see loh! you see you see!" .. why are my friends so interesting interesting it appears that over a span of a mere two days during which i didn't check my blog someone accused me of being sacarstic. -.- to guest: i never meant to suan you and i've been reading my own entries a dozen times to figure out where you might have misunderstood. anyway just to clarify. i didn't mean to suan you, since i didn't even see your tag till now. and if you are still hanging around my blog cos you thought i'm a horrible bitch, i'll send you the link if you tag >.< to may: of course i dun mind, it shows i have great tastes in music!! WAHAHHA.. ..err okay anyway the thought occured me to that i've been eating too much and exercising too little. prob will ask yeong whether she wanna go crawl with me on sunday i used crawl because that's the speed of our run. -.- at least we attempted to mah too many calories intake lah why is it that my social life suddenly explodes after exams? i've been eating SO MUCH STUFF went out with mg smh (omg i'm using his initials too, freaky) naomi pris hz yesterday to eat madjack at bukit timah road i dun even know why we bother meeting up really so weird, and the burger i ordered was UBER TALL. ..i swear it's taller than smh by proportions. oh mg's bf is erm, short =))) okay lahh mg like can already but he's quite crappy. like her. worse than her (err, i think she might be worse) den went to eat island cremery (how to spell ah)..some teh tarik flavour which smh said was nice but turned out really teh tariky. but anyway it was a nice gathering=) let's keep asking smh out so me and pris can continue to snigger at his ..erm, proud-of-his-jokes face. was quite glad that it wasn't very awkward but how do you be awkward with.such.a...erm funny ..guy..ahem and err... today oh. nothing much, just that me and xinyun got a nice present for vanessa it's VERY PRETTY=) and i officially temporary declare an addict of coffee bean. starbucks is out for now. i'm too sick of it shall go to sun plaza from now on to study at coffee beans!! THE NEW SERIES OF YOU HUA HAO HAO SHUO IS OUT! they are in rome! damn funny haha i love the show so i'm broke. so broke. oh so broke. BLEAHH so many people's birthdays oh that remind me. SIX DAYS LATER HOR SOMEONE? -.- tml got cca lunch. sat got ballet under the stars omg. what's going on i thought this was supposed to be the mug period ..!!! oh yes mg i'm going on sat too, with my friends junru and shimin so yeah see you we can peek at all the makingout ang mohs!!=DDD ..okay lah gtg it's a good thing i dun sleep on my own bed during weekdays yes i don't i sleep on my brother's. it's bigger and softer. i sleep better in it i dunno why-.- ..yah coming back to that. it's a good thing cos of all places i forgot to vacuum it ............... it's starting to feel like there's biscuit crumbs all over it NO LAHHH it's not THAT BAD. just that ..there's a FEW crumbs??? oh okay rmb the post abt the disclaimer and the mighty vivace concert? apparently shimin got in YAY!! to number 1: this is a fair competition!=) to number 2: niejiao and him got in=))) ..... detect my tone fellow lit students detect my tone fellow no brainers. to mg: i hope it doesn't rain again like last year because this time around you won't have me to go with you to the toilet to..ahem yeah -.- and this year is their anniversary stuff leh! so all the dances would be nice. so it'd better not rain. the weather these days are weird. like it can't make up its mind whether or not to rain weatherman1: i'm feeling sadd..... weatherman2: yah i know, everyone is mugging weatherman1: maybe if i cry big big, people will noticce? weatherman2: but if you cry big big, all the harvest will flood den people will stop worshipping us, i'll run out of roasted pigs to eat weatherman1: huh, den like that how? or..i know, i make it rain little little..to grab their attention? ...... yeah well, i'm wu liao yes you shld hear the way xinyun talks over the phone " AIYAAAAAAAA SO MAFAN" "ahh!!! wo bu yao du shu le lah!" "bu shi wo ke yi control de you know!" "aiyaaaaa" SUPER amusing. gotta go woodlands return my long overdue book and pass weilun the scholarship stuff err..it's too early lah people i'll let you all see when we've all secured at least Bs first. at this rate, dun scholarship me, go outside onto the streets and beg also no one will give extra money. sigh cheers for sch tml! =( i shall refuse to say the words ___ ____ just in case mr chan has appointed some people who are too free to refuse to patrol google and search for blogs of students that has a tendency to be home-sick ..so yes i stayed at home again and just in case i get into trouble let me just be mean and selfish as did xinyun in this way, even if we are caught and thrown into the most horrific prison (aka sch) we'll have each other for company i'm sure xinyun hates me *hears xinyun echoing the same thought* but it's okay, that's the norm err xinyun says that i must study very hard today because she says i'm disgusting for commiting the same offense again. so. this is what i PLAN to do (need to write it out to convince myself that they really exist, i have this weird inclination to believe that economics consisted of only a pile of notes the height of xinyun..) #! attempt complex numbers tutorial 1 and 2 so that i'll stop cringing when i see miss ding, haven't done her tutorials for a while. #2 finish my econs essay outline..which is not that tough since i dunno what i'm writing #3 revision stuff: try to regain my "knack" for lit. by knack i don't mean my knack for writing impressive stuff, just stuff that convinces teachers i don't have to see them #4 revision stuff: let's start on.......MICRO ECONOMICS! TADA! ...i believe i left out something oh. yeah i did urban geog. ..that's for another day my week's gonna be busy omg what is going on. how come it gets busier when my cca is done?? tml there's the mass movement talk at nj after which i THINK i'll find mg for dinner.. den thurs i have to go get shimin's present (headache) friday there's cca lunch..after which i hope i can study something saturday i wanna watch BALLET UNDER THE STARS (anyone up?) ...do you think it's too much to ask weilun if he wanna go just so i can make use of his terrific camera (which he repeatedly boasted that he got it 100 bucks cheaper on amazon) to snap terrific pictures?? ....... if there's no one den i'll ask. so please reply i know you guys patrol my blog everyday for new tidbits. WHO WANTS TO GO FOR BALLET UNDER THE STARS. if not i'll be labelled as a cheapskate that attempts to seduce 10A1s den priscilla will have to kill me horrible thought. okay so. 10.26. shall do math and econs attempt to finish by 12 den i'll have to leave my house. because i'll be tempted to stop. OH you noe, after trying to access imeem for the WHOLE WEEKEND it only started to work this morning. so finally, LISTEN TO THIS SONG. i'm hooked on it for the time being. watched the dark knight yesterday with px and yes it was good but was especially heavy towards the end. i totally understood why xinyun reacted the way she did when i asked her how it was. xinyun: ...err okay loh, like that..hmmph (nods her red face) towards the end got some thought provoking stuff (i think she didn't quite put it in such chim way..) not bad lah..hmm yah (nods her red face again) i know, you are wondering why i'm taking such a dig at her. ..because i actually WOKE UP THIS MORNING you know and i totally felt okay to go to sch just that my diaphragm STILL hurts (weird) den i saw her msg which reads something like this "if nothing goes wrong i won't be going to sch tmr=)" annd that's it. all my will went poof. and i went back to bed .......... next time u wanna gloat, can you wait until i'm outta the house??? ..but come to think of it, i'll probably just take the opposite train and come home. ... bleah if you haven't really figured it out. i'm hanging around online, posting on blog class blog and reading misterjam cos.. i have a high inertia towards studying. it's so. ....... so unappealing really ..but once i start it's okay..i think you know, i'm thinking of hacking off my window bars. it's so obstructive, to make it sound nicer it's preventing my studying genes from thriving. to put it in a more honest way, i can't see the tiny bit of greenery outside and i feel like a criminal housed in with hundreds of other criminals that happen to be directly opposite my window. oh. i saw a baby rat last night when i rushed back home. ..it was actually quite cute.. of course i didn't stop to say hi, it was curiously nosing some left over food..cute! i was in a hurry to get home before my mother wrecks the house. sometimes i think i'm an unreasonable bitch. i can't stand people asking me where i am and that sort of thing. ohhh! i forgot to blog about this! how can i forget?? okay this is a disclaimer. to protect myself from any future libel sues or whatever. whatever sentiments you will get from the following blog entry will be due to your own deduction i will hereby not make any insinuation. fact number 1: vivace competition is co-org by tj, nj and rj fact number 2: vivace used to be org by vj fact number 3: the judges this year are the piano coaches from tj, nj and rj fact number 4: none of the five pairs of vj students got in fact number 5: 4 outta 5 tj pairs got in i repeat, any deductions you make is atttributed to your own geniuses. yours truly did not attempt insinuate anything. second reminder: if anyone attempts to sue me, pls read the disclaimer above. urgh, econs essay outlines. Spent some time looking for these photos online to show you guys it's a good thing we didn't bring cameras, since our photos would only turned out like mushed up shit. anyway, px and i planned to watch the dark knight yesterday but...for some reason the singapore city really loves batman, every single session was filling up fast..all the way to the midnight show let me just outline our ridiculous night met at my house, took mrt to amk where the cinema was flooded took dhoby ghaut, cinema flooded too walked to marina square (we tend to do that alot cos we like walking) ate hk cafe (was a waste of money lah! she ate the peanut toast which started to look very very unappealing halfway through, and she kept begging me to finish it. i refused on the reason that it's offending to shove that into any human's mouth) wanted to eat cartel's after 9 cake but we found ourselves super bloated. walked around a while..decided to walk back to dhoby ghaut to catch the studio festi show, singapore night festival while digesting our super inflated stomachs. we caught the second half of the first session, den stayed back till 1130 for their encore enjoy! it was super nice despite my constant feeling that i was about to either lose my stomach or suffocate  this is a giant water bowl the woman was dancing around and inside it=) err this act was rather disappointing actually and no that's not a real piano if you look carefully there's a dancer within that orb, thinks it's a moon or something and yes, it's aerial wanna guess what that is?there's a sprinkler that sprays huge fans of water and pictures are projected over it. a waste of water but i told px that it's for the plants..so..err 
anyway we left around 1230 and realized to our horror that train service has ended. see, singaporeans have a life, just that our city transport has a tendency to abandon us so we are much more inclined to stay at home just to avoid that horrible disappointment. in the end took a taxi home, luckily we did cos my mother called me around 1am asking me where i was..you know, i'm 18, do you really have to care that much? rephrase, of course you can care, but she's more like wanna control me. i'm EIGHTEEN. and i dun even stay out late most days, just cos i was watching this.......... and people, stop giving me the evil eye and the talk abt having study. i STUDIED before i went out bleah and i firmly believe that if i study more than 5 hours i'll go mad. den maybe i'll start to fly around like the dancers above. only in a less graceful and more "i wanna ascend the heavens" way. night festival is still on-going next wk, different performances though..maybe i shld drag some old friends to go..hmm meant to blog but wind up surfing other nets so today is over. sigh we played SO SLOWLY omg it's the slowess i've ever gone and as usual i rushed unconsciously but it was better than the concert lah DUH but still it was SO slow and i was kinda disappointed cos i really wanted to play it WELL for once. the pianos were..okay lah, better than TJ's i think i know shimin and nie jiao were quite disappointed too everyone practised so hard but when we perform it's like. urgh and shimin as usual told me that "it's quite okay what" about the slow speed. but i think we didn't screw up screw up just that it wasn't impressive or anything sighhhh i'm sorry junru=( i really wanted to you noe have a grand ending to our partnership -.- and i wanted mr ku to..acknowledge that we play it well...ah can we perform for him you noe......just for fun??? my brother was very nice, he brought me to nj, waited and when i came back and whined abt how horrible it went took me to eat roti prata at thomson road there quite nice, but i prefer jalan kayu's ..oh talking about food i brought xinyun to the coffee place yesterday omg i still can't rmb the name of the place so i've concluded that the boss of that place don't like my face (it rhymes!) he was so hostile towards me can, but the rest of the waiters were very friendly so we ordered this lion head pasta or something, the waiter told us it was chicken when it came, there were chunks of stuff that we assumed was chicken but when i tasted it wanna guess what it is? you'll never guess it it was the most unique pasta i ever ate (note: i said unique not delicious) it was................ nor hiang those who dunno how to pronounce it's WU XIANG. you noe, the wu xiang that they sell three for one dollar???? they PUT IT IN THE PASTA LAH i told xinyun that maybe we should educate the waiters and tell them that this is called nor hiang. she insisted it was a fusion thing. .yeah, so unique but the cakes are nice!! it's gonna be my hangout for cakes and coffee but no more pasta. what if the next time i find rojak inside the pasta. .. creative really i wanted to meet my teacher for lunch but he say dun disturb him he already very short break for lunch -.- no lah, of cos he didn't say that, he's so nice. but he wasn't free lah i wanted to whine to him abt my mozart and all =( so..i'm gonna.. STUDY TODAY! yes! oh let me tell you this i got 54 FOR MY LITERATURE! IT'S MY WEAKEST SUBJECT! AND YOU NOE SOMETHING? I'M AN ARTS STUDENT! oooh whhoo! ..you know i'm weird, really when i saw the 54 marks on my calculator, i felt quite triumphant. as if i've proven a point it's like telling the blasted subject "i really don't like you, i shall prove to you that i don't like you, HERH" and after i've proven this i have this feeling "okay lah, i'll try to like you again loh ^^ " yeah you noe, so i feel quite triumphant so ugly that E. ABBC .....................E! ah well, but i was really so sian of it that i didn't even bother studying i know some people can't understand this horrible horrible..erm, what do you call it. but I'M SO SIAN OF LIT LAH okay okay so, study study study now that i've poked the bloody subject *pokes pokes pokespokespokes hard* "hehehe i dun like you i dun like you i really dun like you" i can find the capacity to be a bit more kind and try to like it=) if you wanna tell me i'm weird this is call the streak of a genius (wannabe genius) ..exactly what i told chris when he remarked that i'm the only person who's capable of creating my own margin as i write.. err what else oh yeah, something unpleasant happened to my clique nods solemnly* it's with deepest regret that i must announce.......... ..no one died yet=) ..okay fineeee come on people you guys really are stressed lah it's a small thing, and the people involved didn't mean anything by it, if anything she started off with good intentions and i believe her and pls dun tell me you dun believe her cos i know that we all believe each other and we won't lie to each other just to hurt each other so please put this behind and really try to look at it as a misunderstanding? i need my clique to be around to ask me to smile when i'm down=) so yeah??? hmmph what else. so many things happened these few days errr..oh yeah, i love mr ku I LOVE MR TIMOTHY KU. there, i said it ..but i hate him too AH .. okay okay i think i shld go off now. ps: xinyun gets VERY HIGH after she goes to mass. pss: it's a good time if you wan her to treat you something 女:宇宙洪荒那时候 第一句爱是谁说出口 当时的他 如何形容 对方 听懂不懂 男:开天辟地了以后 第一对恋人什么结果 洞穴湖泊 日升月落 他们 爱了多久 男:如果我们那时就相遇 会不会爱得比较放心 合:也许分离 还没被发明 来折磨爱情 男:一千次轮回都不错过 女:一万里相随都不放手 合:在每个尽头 再约好碰头 再睁开眼 就认出你我 女:一千次轮回足不足够 男:一万里漂泊又算什么 合:这人海辽阔 爱总被磋跎 总该 留一篇传说 女:宇宙洪荒那时候 第一句爱是谁说出口 当时的他 如何形容 对方 听懂不懂 男:开天辟地了以后 第一对恋人什么结果 洞穴湖泊 日升月落 他们 爱了多久 男:如果我们那时就相遇 会不会爱得比较放心 合:也许分离 还没被发明 来折磨爱情 男:一千次轮回都不错过 女:一万里相随都不放手 合:在每个尽头 再约好碰头 再睁开眼 就认出你我 女:一千次轮回足不足够 男:一万里漂泊又算什么 合:这人海辽阔 爱总被磋跎 总该 留一篇传说 合:我会尽我全力 抵抗世间的情戏 无情地爱你 wo~ 男:一千次轮回都不错过 女:一万里相随都不放手 合:在每个尽头 再约好碰头 再睁开眼 就认出你我 女:一千次轮回足不足够 男:一万里漂泊又算什么 合:这人海辽阔 爱总被磋跎 总该 留一篇传说 女:还好我有你 男:幸好你有我 合:一起写一篇传说 i know you think that i'm exaggerating but i really feel so so so SO HAPPY when i opened my rice cooker. i expected white plain rice but i found a bowl of fried rice!!! i was SO HAPPY CAN i think i've been super deprived=( so okay, moody morning sorry to everyone who had to endure my cao face. honestly didn't feel like talking and most of the time i just felt anxious to get back to my piano. it's really ironic the thing that gets me so stressed up and moody is piano but the piano room is the only place where i become happier. weird huh shi min as usual was very qian da-.- coaching went okay, i really think mr ku has become a different person he's super nice now lah he kept surpassing my standards every single time i met him but i'm super tired now. i think i'm gonna develop a phobia for transportation soon took 36 and there was this caucausian that smells like char siew. i knew it, that must be my subconscious telling me abt the fried rice waiting for me at home. but it's weird loh, she smelled like char siew and roasted stuff made me so hungry i almost puke on the bus lah cos it kept jamming and the train too so horrible okay off to watch my lee dong gun and pls forgive me for being such lousy company these few days =( something's wrong with my......stomach. it's been hurting since yesterday. nothing serious but..reminds me of those awful wei tong i have when i was young. whatever so anyway if you guys have noticed( of if you haven't been around me) i've been very clingy these days ..so if i happen to cling onto you and lie on your arm please let me do so. because life is quite tiring and hard. and difficult. ..but i'm determined to try hard. because mr ku has surpassed even my expectations by being nice to me today even when.. ..yeah my bro just came in and asked me "so how was your concert last friday" i "err..err..like shit" den he said "huh, like shit meh? won't lah" and went out sigh, so nice right sometimes i think my family isn't so bad afterall but i think my character leaves a lot to be desired. for e.g. when i come home at 8pm after one whole day of sch i dun like ppl to come into my room when i'm watching show and having dinner weird huh, that day yip told me abt how she longs for her mother to talk to her. and i thought to myself, how different we were. we are totallyd ifferent characters lah, i just don't like to talk to ppl when i'm tired. so, if i dun speak and just lie on your arm/shoulder/somewhere else if you are too short, please just be nice and allow me to be ..so disgustingly clingy #1 buy tae wang sa shin gi ost. #2 my stomach hurts like shit. something's wrong #3 do CLT tutorial / assignment #4 do econs essay outlines. #5 start studying #6 go thru uni stuff of weilun's and return it to him and try to see him long enough for a decent get-together #7 keep jun ru happy #8 keep myself happy #9 comfort naomi about grade 8 #10 go out with kellie. #### do my best for piano ensemble and i miss my piano teacher. i think there's a word that can generally be used to describe the state in which i'm in BOMBARDED. why is it, WHY is it that teachers generally think that students can revise better when they are around?? why can't they give us like THREE off days per week for home learning learning that can take place at my own pleasure, when i dun have to wake up early in the morning at 5am and leave just two days for whatever revision they wish to do isn't it more efficient? i really appreciate all the extra questions and essays and stuff they give to us really i do but it's so POINTLESS lah to ask me to do outlines when i can't rmb or haven studied so bloody irritating why so people of authority always like to do things that are not only inefficient but also BO LIAO. really bo liao i dunno about you guys but i hate it when people dictate how i revise. it's so.....it's so restrictive. and somemore don't the teachers understand how interruptive it is to have some subjects revision and some subjects still teaching their syllabus. and AND stop making me do outlines! it's pointless! i rather do 30 essay questions den do outlines!!! outlines make me think, yeah right, my foot lah i'm like bombarded lah i feel so luan URGH to px: I NOE, it's so sad right, but beautifully sad haha so you shld still thank me to the world at large. like what i told xinyun, wo de xin qing hai zhen lan. i think i've reached the point where fulfilling my own standards have become too much of a chore to handle. you know. growing up is really.. difficult. i dun even know how to describe it anymore. it's like the older i get, i discover more emotions that i never knew could exist. kenneth is like trying so hard to cheer me up. yeah yeah part of the reason is cos i watched tae wang sa shin gi i can't stop watching it. and it just emphasizes how sad life is and the song, the third one in my player. is so SAD can. listen to the violin. i think violins are the saddest instrument in the world. okay okay i'm emo-ing. i'll prob still be emo-ing tml this is bad when i emo i can't study great isn't it URGHGHGHGHHG everyone around me is like so motivated to study but i'm like the only one that already is too sian of the notes. ..with the exception of weilun, i think he also quite sian of studying. AHHHH!!!!!! ..kns i'm so angry that i can't concentrate on doing anything ...skipped sch today cos i couldn't get to sleep yesterday drank a cup of coffee at 7pm, made it too heavy on the caffeine i think den went out to meet weilun, got a ton of scholarship stuff, can ask from me if you guys want den talk talk talk talk until around 11pm came home, watched march of the penguins, the emperor penguins are really cute watched my tae wang sa shin gi shld have continued watching. i rmb i was still awake at 4am yeah so i knew i was totally going to be tired if i go to sch, so whatever. and it's ridiculous how many smses i have to send just cos i dun wanna go to sch #1, to kb and sl to inform them #2 to naomi #3 to xinyun #4 to junru ..ridiculous i think i need a job that allows me to just disappear without having to account to anyone. see, i'm still angry can't you tell from my tone. sometimes i really wanna do something for old people it's just so .......infuriating. they are ignorant, they dunno anything let's just hope that the next generation of old people are more intellectually empowered. i sound like an elitist right? but you dunno the kind of anger i feel when i look at my mother and all i see is ignorance. and procrastination. and whinning everyday that she very suay it's what she say you noe, that she is very suay these days what kind of lousy lousy LOUSY excuse is that i used to do it too, blame someone up there and believe me i have CAUSE for blaming someone okay but den what's the point, it just happens. just have to deal with it so stop saying you are SUAY almost everyone else is suay in one way or another. just find a way to deal with it fuck i'm so angry with my mother or maybe at myself i never really understood what they mean when they say that ignorance is such a bad thing let me tell you this, in the future, if you find yourself procrastinating treatment for something you can come and find me, i'll scold your face off until you seek treatment i really really am angry why do people just keep procrastinating treatment especially if you already suspect something why do you not go after something that can improve your life tremendously and ignorance ignorance ignorance IGNORANCE old people are so IGNORANT i wonder how many old people in singapore are in the same plight they know that something is wrong with their body but they have no idea what and quack doctors just give all the wrong information and the most stupid thing is, they dunno how to use the internet it's only now that i realize how useful the internet is and how important it is to equip people with the knowlege of using it do you have ANY idea how STUPID chinese websites are i'm sorry, but it's true, their information is false, their layout sucks and they have flashing backgrounds i'm so irritated and angry angry at my mother's ignorance angry at how little she knows about our body and i'm getting angrier when i thought of what happened to me four years ago. i know you dunno what happened, let's just say that i suffered as a result of her ignorance and i'm just so ANGRY really, why do people just put it off URGHHHH yet another day spent doing nth oh well whatever, i can foresee prelims to be a total screw-up honestly i dun feel like doing anything at all i love this shows=)  to all who missed the show cos of my piano concert, can go to tudou to watch it it's so freaking nice, why can't they have more episodes??? weekdays are almost ALMOST bearable with this series ..you noe i told xinyun today that my blog is getting boring she said, it's probably because all our lives are becoming like shit ...the most insightful thing she's said. okay okay i have like another one and a half hour to kill (fineee i'm supposed to be reading some useful stuff that will probably help me to score another one mark in GP but i'm too sian to do it) before watching MARCH OF THE PENGUINS! penguins march penguins march imagine naomi marching* ..as you can see. my life is totally not rational =) photos to remind me of the better parts of the concert night..=) i look like crap in most of them..err oh well       from wynne dear:
yep, i won't forget the mistake but no point beating ourselves up over it, junru let's jia you! and i realize ppl are really nice. i went backstage guowei said it was so nice he was dancing to it (yeah right, unless you are dancing like on a crutch) and shimin's face said we played horribly but he tried so hard to encourage us "it's okay lah, just some MINOR mistakes, nvm de" so nice huh my cca mates=D   i have so many things to say that i dunno where to start from firstly, thank you all of you for coming and supporting me thanks for the flowers and cookie! especially sweet melissa who came all the way back and still didn't make it thank you dearest clique for your pretty roses! it's true that all females feel happy receiving flowers-.- and there's even a blue one (who rmbed that i like blue roses?) thank you thank you too many ppl to thank naomi kumboon lijie yiling (for the terrific make up as usual) vanessa liu! wynne and her friend? and all my clique i can't say that i played well since i totally didn't the piece with shimin was quite well done i think, we at least maintained our average standard. but the one with junru was horrible junru if you are reading this DON'T KEEP BLAMING YOURSELF OKAY!!! we're a duet, not a solo, it's not just your fault i played a part too but for that moment on stage, it was really terrifying. to realize that we're totally not with each other, and we're totally lost and we can't stop, can't go back, cos this is a concert. but for some reason i was unbelievably calm during the whole horrible episode. when we finally found each other again, i thought we played rather well junru, don't feel sad. it's okay, i feel proud really on that stage that we didn't let mr ku down, in the sense that we didn't break, we didn't give up and we got back on track and i do believe that we played well after that don't blame yourself, we're partners! but it was horrific i'm still midstage between wanting to cry and not wanting to cry i think junru crying scared me really really but come to think of it, when i finished and went backstage, i really felt quite ..relieved? proud? that at the very least i beat myself, for a moment there i wanted to just stop and give up. i really did. the first person i saw backstage was shimin i think (he came over to kan kan wo as he said) and i really wanted to hug him lah cos it was so nerve-wrecking. den junru was so sad and i just wanted her to feel better oh no i feel like crying now i hope there's cca dinner tml, it doesn't feel like the concert has finished. i think touching stuff always happens backstage during concert. like ppl who dunno each other starts to talk people who know each other becomes very encouraging really wanna thank shimin and junru, without them i think i would be nowhere now i'm like, wanna talk to someone, but i know somehow they wun get it sigh and thank you vanessa lijie kumboon and yiling for the late night supper actually i was really quite confused at that time whether i shld go home or try to cheer myself up by being with you all in the end didn't quite work, but listening to lijie and vanessa crap was quite therapiutic and thanks for accompanying me home (haha) especially vanessa when you live quite far away i just stared at the cursor for a while realize that the piece shimin played keeps ringing in my head. i kinda miss him already ..shld i call junru now. eh girl really, we're a duet, dun keep blaming yourself and i know i contributed a lot to the mistake (mr ku pointed at me and said metronome rmb??) but i feel proud that we persevered together. i think ppl can't quite understand the courage to sit there and continue when both of us are so incredibly lost. so yes, give yourself more credit! i really can't thank you guys enough tonight makes me feel very loved so many of you guys came down to support me and kb they all even waited for me when i took like an hour?? to tidy things up after concert at the same time, i played so horribly i know i know, you guys still love me and all (yes yes) but it's the personal achievement kinda thing you noe but having you guys there makes it easier i guess=) thank you, and i'll try harder again and also, to kenneth who msged me to wish me good luck, thanks haha didn't went very well but i think it was a successful concert=) i know it sounds cliche to say this but i think i've learnt and grown alot thru piano ensemble. especially to face the kind of person i am. there are regrets, but aren't there always regrets let's all just try harder and face whatever comes
i dunno why i'm like this i got super bu shuang just now when i return home and the first thing i see from the door is my mother watching tv i know, it's irrational i think i was just irritated cos i've been slogging like shit and she seems to be doing nth but watching tv. but like i said, i know it's irrational but it didn't stop me from blasting at her cos i'm tired, i'm frustrated i'm nervous abt tml ...and the sight of anyone just simply slacking around just pisses me off. ah i'm so tired but today's tiredness is kinda nice cos we went aston's and this nice coffee cafe with mg, pris, hz and naomi =)) it's nice and i was thinking it's nice to reach that stage in a friendship that you dun have to worry abt offending your friend when you are in a bad mood ^^ like how we were so childish in sec sch, like when ur friend just flares up at you we get defensive and say "wth, what's ur prob" and say "it's not my fault" yeah, it's nice to have reached that kinda stage=) so yes we went to aston's and a waiter named patrick cheated us he told us there's no fries but there was this other nice waiter that seemed to be the boss and offered us free fries DEN we found this insect in my house salad!!! even though i couldn't tell it was an insect, but hz assured me it was urgh. i wonder why aston's service was so bad today so sorry to mg and pris but really really the food is normally nicer den we decided to try out this nice coffee place that looked nice the coffee was nice! and the cake too!! the ambience was nice too it's the kinda shop that i wish i owned (as long as it makes profit lah) will put up photos too it's just nice to hang out with them lah i wanted to blog abt something funny but i can't rmb what. anybody else wanna come piano concert support me?? you noe, ruth wrote me a very formal sounding letter talking abt arts and stuff -.- it sounds so GP pity that i dun write essays on arts, it's simply too profound for me. my mother is trying to talk to me i'm ignoring her sometimes i think that i'm a totally not suitable to have bf or partners or whatever cos i can't be bothered to entertain the person when i'm tired. yep, gonna watch "perfect cut" on channel u =) oops the lyrics is a little wrong but the song is nice! and i agree xinyun i'll catch the show it really doesn't look half bad I SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY TODAY DOING NTH BUT WATCHING TV LAH it's all sl's and kb's fault sigh, we watched an interview with the vampire and national treasure 2 omg, den i have to see them again tml morning. so disgusting. SOMEMORE TML GONNA HAVE SCH AGAIN! =((( better go and prac piano now yep yep and tom cruise looked like shit in "interview" yeah 我知道我变漂亮了（《一切完美》主题曲） 詞/曲：石欣卉 製作：陳達偉 过去的批评嘲讽 Let it go Let it go 过去的轻蔑冷落 Let it go Let it go 有些人口不饶人 却忘了瞧瞧自己 又有什么资格 时刻都善良待人 Let’s move on Let’s move on 时刻都做好本分 Let’s move on Let’s move on 别人的心思浅薄 绝不是自己 自暴自弃的理由 也许 确实也受过言语打击 也许 因此而失去了自信心 但千万别将勇气深锁在阴影里 我们又不会妨碍这世界（的）美丽 我知道我变漂亮了 我知道我被注意了 曾难过 失落 微笑一下就过 外在的美貌容易戳破 内在的美好细水长流 我知道我变漂亮了 我知道我也豁达了 不自卑 不埋怨 就算还差一点点 用内涵弥补一切缺陷 内在的美 迷住每个人的眼 to a certain person (i'm not sure how to tell you it's you, but it's you) cheer up!!! and stop thinking so much! just accept yourself for who you are and things would work out=) and we love you for who you are, so you shld too! realized i've been blogging quite incoherently because LIFE WITHOUT SCH IS SOOO GD~ oh!!! i got three dvds yesterday! i'm so super happy lah i got I AM SAM, AN INTERVIEW WITH VAMPIRE, AND TWO JOHNNY DEPPs edward scissorhands and FROM HELL all obscure movies that i love and i actually got good decent DVDs=)))) watched from hell yesterday and wanted to melt at their british accents (i was strongly reminded of great expectations.....you noe, how london is a skanky place and it's dark and stinks and full of shit) and anyway if you look closely you'll realize that johnny depp's acting has improved over the years yep yep omg, i'm blogging in like long sentences can't stand it looks so ugly so..me mg and pris went out and i dunno what the hell we did they were so super not sincere, they offered to buy me whatever that catches my eye and THAT is my birthday present, sniffs* so i told them to get me james rollin's THE LAST ORACLE when it finally ships to Singapore.=)))))) i miss him (james rollins) oh and as usual we ate alot, talk a lot, and spent an hr looking at old dvds that reminded us of our past it's been eighteen years already and i just realize that i've accumulated alot of memories=) and ssp, can't we go on a volunteer trip again? oh yes i forgot to blog! there's this cute little girl on the train on saturday night when i was taking the midnight train home she sat beside me on her mother's lap very pretty indian with HUGE eyes i was listening to my mp3, super tired, and never even noticed she was there until she started tugging at the ugly badge wuyue pinned on my bag it was really ugly, but it was shiny she kept tugging very cutely on it den she tugged my magnetic button free attempt to pin it on my arm wouldn't stay, so she flipped another way and pressed very hard and looked at me and went "aye" "aye" "aye" "aye" it took me several "AYEs" to realize she was saying "hi" -.- so i said hi too yeah i said hi, because if i dun, i'm afraid she might cry and a crying indian baby next to you, for your information, isn't a very pretty or quiet thing so yeah i said hi she said hi back i said hi she said hi back i got fed up and said "hi hi" in the hope that it'll confuse her and she'll shut up her mother looked like she can tell i'm not good with kids anyway, den she started playing with those toy phones and went "aye aye aye ayeayeaye" with it -.- i'm so amused she lives at admiralty you noe i tot mg would have loved her. oh, towards the end she cried cos her mother wouldn't let her play with their hp and she VERY FAKE LAH let out ONE teardrop ONE teardrop i was like "errrrr you win loh" and her expression was like "you dun let me play, i cry for you to see. sulks sulks" ......... so yeah, interesting night waiting for kb and sl to come over and watch interview with vampire THIS TIME WITH ENGLISH SUBS! we'll FINALLY understand why that stupid woman was standing gloriously naked!!=DD oh yes, you noe, the movie from hell it has a lot of sexual scenes with ppl having sex (no cass johnny depp wasn't featured, stop having funny thoughts) i was so afraid my mother would burst in on me it was SO super funny there was this scene where the erm, female was riding the male oh whatever, we're lit students so yes, we're already seen so many sexual stuff in malfi that i'm kinda immune so yes she was riding him and it took me really ten seconds to realize what she was doing for one thing they only showed her shoulders up (for that frame lah) and her hair was flying, her sweat glazed on her shoulders and i wondered "err........what are you doing?" yeah, den of course i saw the guy, i saw her naked and i put one and one together to get two. ... or is it two to get one. err okay ignore me for those who are shocked at this ultra frank speech of mine it's okay, vj engage in this all the time -.- okay correction, cass and mel does, err arts do, not all of us do but it's kinda hard not to notice you know the deleted scenes, half of them were sexual scenes i was like "urgh" right, before i make you lose ur lunch, i shld go off now=) HAHAHAH I'M DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY LOOK AT ME LAUGH I'M so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME SHOW YOU THE REASON WHY heeeee HEEE  can you see? oh you can't see IT'S LEE DONG GUN AND KIM SUN AH!!! can this be true? i'm SO SUPER HAPPY that there's a k drama whose leads are people i noe!! oooh!! cheers like monkey* yes i'm crazy go ahead, tell everyone i'm crazy i just briefly glanced at the first part of the show, THEY LOOK SO PRETTY=D even if the show sucks (which it doesn't look like it sucks) i can just look at lee dong gun and her=)))))))))))))) oh yes i'm mad, go ahead=DDD tell the whole world. yay!! it's ROMANCE COMEDY somemore! not some shitty romance crying shit i have CONFIDENCE that i can live out my days in OPTIMISM!! WOOTS!! you know, i realize i'm a very sorta, erm "emotional person" before i elaborate and become self-absorbed i really like ssp gathering=D i'm glad i went despite feeling really tired basically most of the time i just sat there and let wuyue may yy and shanti talk (they obviously have great talent in that particular aspect, ahem) and i think we've fully earned out gst/service charge. by eating up so many loafs of bread (but i agree that the bread is really nice lah) and just like what yy said she echoed my exact sentiments "how come we haven't met for so long but we can still talk?" i think i'm really lucky to have become their friends it's really great that we dun feel awkward or anything when we meet up after a long time =))  as promised! oh this one shanti is holding the puppy, but this one, is yy holding it, looking like a spokesperson for PAWS=D
so cute right!!!! bleah i'm really tired woke up this morning, felt like i never rested properly den went with mother to the polyclinic for like four hours vomits* i feel faint hahaha, no lah kidding anyway i realize that we should all equip with medical knowledge it's really far more useful than anything you'll ever learn and looking at my mother, i really begin to fear old-age it's so sucky really i rather die in a car accident, instant death den go through all the sickness esp if by then i have no one around me who cares =( okay enough of depressing stuff .okay, more depressing stuff my mom is riddled with diseases. honestly. and i feel guilty, because i've been so busy with rehearsals that she didn't have the chance to tell me till today .....and i feel very tired ..wondering whether i shld go for OCIP later miss the girls but really very tired. and i need to do some chores first BLEAH and i've promised mr ku to master that particular passage. sigh, do our best bah funny how one moment i can be depressed and one moment i can feel so much better and the most ironic thing is i actually got cheered up in the piano room so ironic but shimin was hilarious, i can't help it and some other people were there as well i promise to try my best=) and i can't believe how NICE mr ku is to us omg, he's a changed person and i'm glad he changed, if not i'll probably hate him sigh, i promise promise to do my best but for tonight i'm SO TIRED i'm just gonna laze around, surf net, read my repairman jack until i get sleepy and drop off to much needed sleep yep yep thank you all for the encouragements =) i admit it i'm stressed don't come and talk to me unless i talk to you rehearsals were bad i feel like a ghost possessed me couldn't play at all played like crap total crap. but mr ku was SO nice to me i think he's changed tactic. but i still feel bad esp when he asked me "what happened? don't need to be afraid, just say" what can i say? i screwed up? i got stage fright? for some reason i just can't do it? and he was so nice to me that i feel doubly bad for playing so lousily i really really wannna tell him that i'm trying my best and thank you for being so nice to me. i hate this self-doubting business. i hate it. and i hate it that i know i can play better but it just comes out wrong. and it doesn'tmatter that i've practised. i can't type using my forefinger now cos it's painful to do anything with it. everything just comes out wrong.. t3a. t3a my foot i am SO sick of trying to live up to my own standards. i really wanna stop stressing myself up but i can't. i tried. but i can't either i become too bo chap and angry and offend ppl or i just cramped up and can't play. i hate this self doubting business why do we get upset because we didn't pass our math, our subjects because we didn't make the cut for something it's all ourselves to blame isn't it? i swear i'm not going to find a job that's stressful i don't even know how to put these into words 15 of you all are coming for the concert. and i really hope to perform my best for you guys who came to support me. but EVERYTHING JUST COMES OUT WRONG. it's like playing catch. i keep tryiong to listen to you, you keep trying to listen to me. it's not music, it's a game. when i look at shimin, he just seems so happy when he plays den i wonder, where did all my joy go. how can i be happy when i dun play well. or is it the reverse. how can i play well when i'm not happy this is a screwed up world. watched the movie 21 with hz and naomi it was GOOD! not as intellectuallly taxing as i thought it would be but it was really nice and jim sturgess is really cute =))) thank you boon lijie shuling naomi and hz for the taewangsashingi DVD. =)))))) the more i look at it the more happy i become like deliriously happy but hz if you wanna buy me another present i dun mind of course=DD and the picture sl drew was so pretty, i'll gather all my presents one day and take photos you know,i haven't unwrapped yiling's present, cos it looks so pretty on its own with its silver wrapper=) i gave the bae yong jun poster to lijie. cos honestly, if i have him hanging around in my room .. i'll never get to sleep his huge face, like ba ba, like biscuit. no cookie. no something bigger. hmmph we ate famous amos today, again and i spent SPENT again ..oh no, luckily my mother bought a lot of bread. so i'm eating bread tml for the whole day sigh, i promise xinyun i'll bring her nice food i'm trying lah hor maybe i'll make tuna tml hai i shld probably try to sleep now ..i really sleep better in my brother's room. i dunno why. but after 21, i really dun feel like sleeping i have this stupid urge to GRASP ONTO NON-VJ TIME. oh no. sch days again. punch me pls i need to shit=) |
too lazy to blog abt details but it was a great night..ballet under the stars was great even with stupid kids whinning/skipping around.
pretty isn' it??