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Normal's Overated.
sokmuiam a cynical person who hates orientation and the ridiculous rah rah atmosphere. shares a love-hate relationship with ku-ster and the piano. god should populate the earth instaneously with adults, thus skipping the absurd toddlers and squealingn babies fan of korean shows and the rude ah jun mas, secretly think bae yong jun is not bad looking. listening to classical music on the train is a waste of my battery. Dislikes babbling women who are not efficient.adores House. Thinks that friends are sometimes a burden Adores Xinyun immensely. Life is too short to bother socializing with people I dun like. You either choose the pill and live your life barely feeling your toes, or ignore the pill and accept pain as part of the life. Secretly clings. Sometimes. |
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random quirks
my student made a guess regarding my age and said i was fifteenmr ku insulted me by saying i look like david carrdine whoever dares to say there is a certain resemblance better be prepared for my wrath. plugged tagboard
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my mother is bu shuang at my elder brother because he is being, as usual, a bastard with illogical reasoning and bastardious actions. i dunno how many of you guys are as not fond as your family as i am but i'm not very sorry for it. i'm going to omit the details and now i'm being bu shuang because my mother is taking out her anger on me. by showing me her very bu shuang face and asking me to do chores in a tone that suggest that i owe it to her to do the chores because my brother is being a bastard. i dun mind the chores so much as her tone, cos they're not very tedious, just wash the dishes and bring the clothes in. it's her bloody tone damnit. dun make it sound like i owe it to you or something filial piety is overrated. dun use that damn card whenever you feel like it. it doesn't work anymore. and i can't get over how stupid my brother is. yes yes he gives me money, he's nice to me enough, he dotes on me and he's generally not a bad person except he's zi bi, doesn't have friends, not much hobby, and lives like a hermit crab who has wireless inside his shell. you probably have some relatives like that too. that day naomi asked me, are my brothers really not gonna talk to each other forever. i think my response was a shrug and something honestly? i'm so used to this abnormal situation i dun find it weird or disconcerting. seriously, please dun have kids unless you are pretty sure you have wean yourself off the selfishness of being an individual. they say parents are always selfless. i intepret it another way. when people become parents, they cease to be themselves. you know what i mean? everything revolves around their kids, all their time is devoted to their kids, all their interests, their whole life. as an individual, they are suddenly defined by the way their kids are. yeah, that's selfless. literally. self- less. i dun even know why i've digressed so far. and yiling, pms-ing is normal. you never seemed to be a pms-ing person because you were always around me who seems to be pms-ing everyday and you're too busy trying to deal with me. and during holidays with no school and nothing intellectual to occupy our minds with, i really realize the importance of learning to like your own company. random, again. wanted to blog about yesterday, dropping by xinyun's house, talking to xinhua and biking with naomi. but it's strange how unhappy moods always seemed to get in the way of me recalling happier times.  hmm. yes i spend my entire day doing this kinda things. but it's quite pretty yes? ..feel like redoing all the stuff i did cos the more i look at them the uglier they look...-.-
 there's just something about older men carrying babies isn't there? i know you won't look carefully (i usually roll my eyes when mg talks abt jay like this..so this is retribution) but look at the suspicious look in his eyes! i think the feeling is mutual "what's this thing in my hands?"when he was handed the baby his words were "you think we'll bond?" ...house is great. =))) i think it showcases the warped humor that we've all grown used to. i blog too much. and the more i blog the more i realize my life is really meaningless right about now. this is like the transition period you know, the all-important period of your life where silly authors use the cliche phrase of "standing at a cross road, deciding on which way to turn" the truth is, nobody ever realizes they are at the cross road everyone just sort of muddle their way through and before we know it, it's too late, you're on a one-way street and you just have to deal with it. and anyway, people aren't great with choices. when we are given a choice we'll always regret and wonder what would have happened if we had picked the other choice. i actually think people without choices fare better, you know, just sort of resigned to it and just work hard at it. but that's just me. and no, even though i put it that way i still like my choices. i'm contradictory that way.
  Intend to do several of these and print them instead of printing photos...cos i always find photos pretty boring unless of course you're professional photographers and the photographs look pretty and professional.since my photography skills and my camera are often inadequate.. but upon calculation i have a feeling that these will cost even more. oh and what's worse, i'm afraid that when i print them out the bloody resolution will be affected and everything turns out fuzzy =( but they're pretty eh?
time isn't THAT hard to pass you know watch a few shows. nap in the afternoon and dream abt the show. spend another few hours in the evening eating plus making graphics. spend a total of god knows how many hours to patiently wait for your computer to function properly. and then realize that the resolution of the graphic you made is too small for your desktop-.-  i don't wanna start work -.- just finished watching benjamin button if you expect it to be a fast-paced exhilarating love story, it's not. the front was pretty..unimpressive, but the back half redeems it it's not the show that's touching, it's more like the plot and the story itself which are already very moving i thought it could have been done better though, on the whole, milk more emotions and conflicts from the characters but i'll still recommend people to see it =) had quite a lot of thoughts from the show but erm i can't articulate them well enough. just watch it. it's really touching towards the end. i cried. but i found brad pitt to be rather lacking, cos he had kinda the same expression throughout the character's life, watch it, you'll know what i mean it's not going to be titanic, even though it has the potential to be. i really find it a pity that they didn't exploit the conflicts more you know. it's like he just basically accepts things as they were, the character benjamin button i mean. oh and if you've read the short story written by f.scott.fitzgerald (lit ppl listen!) you'll have been quite amazed by what a bunch of bullshit he wrote. it's really bullshit. so i think they should emphasized the credits as "loosely LOOSELY based on the short story by fitzgerald" cos all they lifted from the book was the idea of a man who was born old and grew into infancy. it's really comforting to know that he wrote such bullshit before too. oh and i watched quantam of solace yesterday who the hell edited the show?! it's just a big bloody mess of things blowing up and people getting killed if they meant for the movie to reflect bond's insane rage i'd say it's a success. the scenes were a bloody mess lah and by the fifteen minutes mark i'm already confused about why he's doing the stuff he's doing. i still think craig and judi dench are great, but..if all the james bond series are going to be like this from here on, i'll rather rewatch casino royale a gazillion times. it gets tiring watching james bond mechanically off-ing people you know, even if he's played by daniel craig. and i'm halfway with defiance, also by daniel craig. reason i stopped? the dvd had horrible subtitles and i couldn't make out the dialogues half the time cos they have this heavy german accent. it's about the nazis and the jews. but it gets tiring because most of the scenes are in the woods and there's only shades of green blue and grey with a spock of craig's blond hair for diversion. and yeah, i spend my days doing this sort of things, watching shows, reading books, i'm halfway through obama's book and it's making me wonder whether great people always have such..complicated thoughts throughout their lives or do they only register when they're having say, mid life crisis. because i personally dun think so much about my life. ..do i? happy new year, life goes on. I NEED TO EXERCISE. hands up those who think that they should come up with low-calorie, low-fat, low-sugar new year goodies. PLUS i ate so much seafood that i'm gonna have cholesterol problem. seriously, every meal i eat seafood okay, it's like my house's luxury items that they throw out every new year. and i went for a seafood buffet today at paress, pariss, whatever, international at marina square i ate...... clams, oyster, shark's fins, abalone, sushi, cakes, icecream, crabs crabs and crabs, three cups of coffee cos it's delicoius..what else. and den i went to the toilet and got very upset at the bulge of my tummy................. so i resolve to go running today later came home, and gang hao all my uncles came. so being the nice daughter that i am i stayed in the living room to "pose" being the zi bi brothers that they are, they stayed in their rooms....... and basically the uncles and aunts all spent the entire time bitching about our maid (who apparently is really damn lazy) my aunt kept threatening her that if she didn't wipe the furniture and uncle does this *makes action of swiping table surface* and sees dust, she's so doomed. i find it cute that the maid is super scared of my uncle, cos i personally find him very cute he's really very cute wor he came in, we did the whole "happy new year" thing den he wandered around and i continued doing the "happy new year" thing to others, den our paths met and he said "yah yah, come in first thing dun do anything just say happy new year hurry up take ang bao first" and then they were talking about the "unfilial sons" (i'll mention later) and he turned to me and mumbled something like "bu hao de, bu hao de they all" and i went "huh?" and he went "okay lah, happy new year ah, bye bye" so cute i think it's prob cos i like his wife alot too, like quite sensible and not those uber bitchy auntie kind. it's horrible how men can turn out if they marry horrible wives. i'm really on men's sides here. omggg i'm so bloated. my mother remarked just now when the uncles left that "...really wun get hungry wor" and i went " dun need prepare dinner le, cook mee can le" cos usually for 4/5 days during chinese new year every meal has seafood, abalone, and alot of good stuff and we'll sit together to eat (it's the only 4/5 days per year we sit together and eat okay) cos we need to eat rid of the abalone and sharks fin and seafood you see, so we'll eat luxuriously for several days straight -.- not bad, except the health risks. anyway, we've officially cut ties with one of my uncles cos of their unfilial sons and erm, his horrible wife who refused to take care of my ah ma. everytime i think of their unfilial sons i get very....not upset nor angry, just...amazed at humanity's callousness. i actually liked them you noe, everytime i went for the previous years they'll talk to me and actually seemed interested in what i say but apparently they are spineless bastards who listen blindly to their mother's words. to quote one of the aunties who quoted someone whom i think is my cousin but i can't quite place his name "he no use de" so yes, in several years for all you know naomi will desert her parents I'M KIDDING. but you never know you know (sounds funny) or maybe i'll really kill someone. funny how people can change. anyway i really like my uncles -.- one of them has my hp no. i dunno why. prob cos sometimes i call my father and he actually rmbs it? you know, new year is never quite the same if you dun have noisy relatives crowding your living room talking like crows. and the cliche conversation "ah mei very pretty ah" (yeah) "ah mei very tall hor" (i've been this tall since sec 1) "ah mei very filial very guai ah" (yeah right, i half expected my mother to snort) ...at which i smile very demurely (yeah yeah, go on smirk you people) and rolled my eyes when no one is looking. did i mention that i am always extremely amused when my father goes to meals with us? he went to the buffet too, like wow and i think that my cousins all think that my father is cute too. he has this "what is this?" look whenever i put food infront of him and he'll talk "hawker talk" abt the type of abalone the type of clams, the type of oyster and declare them "fake" at which my cousins will laugh den he will kinda slough (i dunno why i like this word, i think there's no such word) around the buffet bar for quite sometime and come back empty handed. and he's nice cos he cracked the crabs for me oh, and he stands outside the restaurant alone apparently looking at nothing (i spotted him when i went to the toilet) and cos he has nth else to eat he'll sit at the table and look very sleepy and my zi bi brother, in a rare moment of wanting to mock him said "pa, you want to sleep and can just sleep here leh, put your head on the table" ............................ it goes to show how amusing his expressions are, to provoke this from my brother. see, it's at this kinda times when i find my family quite nice. but of course, he's not that nice, he's ignorant, petty, and unreasonable at times. while my mother is loud, naggy, unbearably unreasonable all the time except infront of audience. i conclude therefore, that families shld go out very often together, cos then the children will benefit from the fake civility that their parents have to put up. i'm a genius huh Slumdog Millionaire - Trailer
really hope it's shown soon, it's abt an 18 year old orphan from the slums of mumbai (whee, geography, fond memories, i researched those slums) who is one question away from winning 20 million.......  ............isn't this so..i can't find another word..CUTE?happy niu year everyone! actually, i am bored -.- that's why i'm online from my father's expression i can tell he's going to go nap soon again. we just finished lunch and err i'm kinda getting sick of the luxury goods. in fact i've decided to fast like xinyun on 3 feb when i start work. because i'm eating too much shit. err the agenda for today..is to visit one house. that's it you noe one house. ..... it's bloody boring. you noe how the movies always seemed to show happy crowded families celebrating new year with losta smiles and crap the real life isn't that way at all -.- at least not for my family firstly, my brothers dun talk secondly, my second bro was uber quiet this year at reunion dinner cos he got scolded very badly by my father for quitting his job. thirdly, my father offered reconciliation in a very cute way, by offering him abalone, but only cute to me cos it only made my brother more awkward fourthly, (is there a fourthly?) my eldest brother is sick. fifthly (i dun care anymore) my mother extracted a tooth and although she talks and screams fine she can't eat most of the stuff sixthly BECAUSE THERE'S A RECESSION. ....................... quite a nice new year. some funny photos.   i am boycotting mg's blog. AGAIN. cos you uploaded too many photos lah. my browser keeps crashing. i think my comp does't like ur blog =( i just threw away a bottle of biore make up remover that's like 5/6/7/8 years old. i'm not kidding lah! i dunno how my mom manages to convince herself that the thing is still usable when it's so obviously not usable anymore lah and pris it's your mom's fault lah, she shld have at least told me it's her not you who's online lah! i went causeway point today after a wasted trip to toa payoh with my aunt i was hoping to go down and surprise my father and see him sell veg, very dumb i know but i always thought he looks very cute selling veg. my aunt was hoping to kope some tomatoes and onions cos she wants very little and they only sell in bulk at the supermarket but he'd gone home before we reached there!!!! the lazy bum. no lah, cos he's getting older so these few years he doesn't open his stall during new year's eve, whereas in the past he used to do it till wee hours loh. can't blame him right. anyway JOHN LITTLE IS HAVING A SALE. it's bloody cheap, storewide 20% discount (i'm a member you can ask me to go along with you) and some brands have further discount. yeah yeah, of course i'm not talking abt the clothes, i'm talking abt cosmetics, facial, body baths and stuff you noe, i really can't resist blogging about this. but i can't. it's so ridiculous i went metro and i saw a gf pulling her bf to stand in front of a rack of undergarments and started pointing and discussing undergarments with her bf who looks very amused. ............... why do you want to do that?! and somemore the couple was like what younger than me can! seriously! what's the world coming to man! i mean if it's husband and wife of course i can understand lah but these are YOUNG YOUNG YOUNGGGGG COUPLES!!! and the guy queued with her at the fitting room somemore! so uber amusing, i kept resisting the urge to snort and roll my eyes. causeway point was crowded like crap.. and why do they insist on doing those shitty remixes for new year songs? hi all ....... i might as well not sleep don't you think? it's nearly 4am and i'm still not sleepy, drinking orange juice (vitamin c, i hope it keeps the headache and the possible fever rush tml away) and eating snacks while reading articles online you know i always always ALWAYS regret it when i realize that there are so many interesting things to know about like psychology and i wasted my time away being sick. and slack. it's always at times like this, when you sit down infront of a comp alone and in quiet without the world roaring past you and when the clock doesn't matter and when you dun have to wash dishes, that you realize that some stuff on the internet interest you and there are so many things you wish you had known. but still. 18 years old isn't too late. oh my! i yawned! yeah! that's the cue for me to sleep! yeah! hasn't it occured to you that all the research and knowledge we do and gain are all forced upon by projects and teachers. isn't it a shame that there's so much information on the net but we know so little of it. if you noe a bit of everything, life would be a bit more interesting i ought to just shoot myself i was trying to figure out why i felt so dissatisfied during dinner with pris and i finally figured it out at night later. so i went to drink two cups of coffee. cos i couldn't resist. and if you noe me, you shld noe that if i drank coffee at after 8....i'll totally just be awake till morning. so. this is horrible. i'm not so horrified by the fact that i'll be awake than the prospect of falling sick again due to lack of sleep. horrible. and i was thinking of popping down to toa payoh with my aunt tml morning to see my father "in action" somemore see him sell veg lah, it's quite entertaining you noe. i like to see my father at work. the polite admirable word would be "cool" because app he's got such a foul and stubborn temper that he shoos away anyone that doesn't seem prone to buying. to put it another way, he's an ah pek with a pissed off attitude. ..hey, i inherited my temper from somewhere. so this is gonna be a LOOOONG post. seeing as how i have the whole night (morning, it's saturday alr now) to do it. did i mention that i'm having stomach upset because of the two cups of coffee? serves me right huh damn. it's almost 1am alr. and i can still feel the caffeine coursing thru my veins. sigh, shld i even ATTEMPT to sleep? i can't even rmb what i wanted to blog abt cos been talking to too many people on msn. so..not a very long post afterall. HOUSE IS FINALLY OUT!!!!!! oh and my mother plucked her very very decayed tooth at last. i personally felt she shld have done it ten years ago and saved herself ten years of toothache. apparently it was so bad that the receptionist at the dentist asked her to come back every 3 to 4 mths for cleaning because "the gums are really bad" and the best thing? SHE CAN'T TALK~ she can't talk lala lala lalalalala~ but for some reason the wild gesturings with the swollen face actually felt more irritating than her voice. but still, it's nice to be free of her nagging for several hours. ON AIR is nice ppl! i have the dvd, borrow it from me! it's nice! it's right up there with beethoven virus (beethoven virus is still top number 1) it's very good! and i've FINISHED IT. oh man. and hor my brother and i are the same type of people loh smart people, that is we both know that new year is nothing but a well deserved break for working ppl and is extremely boring so the smart he ordered dvds WAAHAHHAH i have............ (i haven't checked whether they play out clearly, sometimes they do sometimes they don't) #seven pounds (will smith aka mr najib lookalike) #benjamin button (the ubiquituous phenomena of people getting younger as we age) #defiance (daniel craig) #quamtan of solace (daniel craig!) #blindness (it's an arthouse type by julianne moore) # IP MAN (if you haven't figured it out, it's pronounced eep-mun) # Stay connected (the hk show by louis ku that's actually not bad? and in which he doesn't look like a clown!) #revolutionary road (a director directing a sex scene of his wife, ha.ha. golden globe deserving) #eagle eye (personally hate this kinda stupid film in which the lead gets led around by this floaty voice coming from a phone..but there's shia labeouf so i supposed it's okay) #bolt! (it was nominated for golden globe lah, i haven't even watched wall e can, i have the dvd too) #pride and glory (colin farrell and edward norton. sigh a masculine film, my brother likes those. he's obviously not a new-age sensitive type of guy) ARENT' YOU JEALOUS. me and my brother are just totally gonna stay home, wait for hong baos, and commence our movie marathon. i love him when he's such a smart ass. what else. i'm tired AGAIN. soo i'm gonna nap a bit now. den dinner is accompanied by house (FINALLY!!!!) life is........unproductive but not bad. at this time last year we would be very very bored in lectures, particularly mr teo's lectures. i cannot stand it yiling, i really cannot stand his lectures. it's like totally greek to me. i shld have videoed it down and show it to mg and pris so you guys can understand how greeky freaky his lectures are. whee~ i hope the dvds are good quality clear ones. ohh hoho did i say? the wedding game, (the horrid film by fann wong and chris lee that i tot had a very good commercial selling point which they horridly had to go find the horrid director of not very horrid show THE COFFIN) reviews of the wedding game are all like half a star/ a star higher than jack neo's love matters. sigh, what's wrong with local cinema. i miss 881 and roystan loh. (low? tan? what's his last name?) happy working your guts out people. it's friday at last. (and boo hoo i'm staring work on 3 feb..that's so soon!) ..i'm ignoring my hp which is ringing again. sorry lah people, not very sociable these days. nothing personal i'm officially an on air sucker. (sounds very scientific doesn't it) so all you have on my imeem now is its ost, which btw is very nice. but dun worry, cos i get sick of pop songs very quickly nowadays. so i'll change it something more erm artistic soon. and hor, does anyone rmb the sad looking guy from winter sonata (if you happen to be forced by your mother to watch it cos she thinks bae yong jun looks very good in the show with dunno what's that color hair and that the show is very nice with tons of weeping and slow scenes......) the "love rival" of bae yong jun in that show? he happens to have a very good voice leh, the first song is by him. anyway after reading pris and mg's blog (yiling i'll read urs once i figure out what's it i haven't visited it for years) i conclude that everyone is having an extremely boring, meaningless, wasteful life. pris blogs in third person mg blogs abt nth significant that i've already forgotten what she blogged abt when i read it five minutes ago. but it's okay lah, we're gonna be busy the rest of our lives giving birth killing babies and killing husbands so why not just slack some time away now. and yiling, trust you to correct my english. where was i? oh yes thanks for flooding my tagboard with such cheerful enthusiastic discussion abt the donation drive, and if huizhen is reading this or lijie or anyone who msged me who didn't get a reply, i'm erm not very apologetic cos i was feeling anti-social aka myself basically i saw ur msg, considered the consequences of not replying, which is nothing since nobody expects me to be very friendly anyway, so i decided not to reply and toss my very lousy phone on the chair. (i seriously toss my phone everywhere, what's the use of it being so lousy if i can't abuse it further, and i'm doing nokia a favor proving that their phones are so hardy that even when the keys melt, the functions still function) psss I'M GONNA CHANGE MY PHONE! HURRAY! HIP HIP HURRAY! =( but it'll mean i can't toss my new phone. that's a long paragraph of self-digression. sorry, erm to yip, gui is ang mei gui aka the person who spreaded rumours throughout the entire AND batch that i'm a killer and hence caused me unbearable lifelong trauma. she's a liar and she's not as cheerful as she appears on the tagboard. just do what she says if not she'll say you're a butcher or something. so yes sms her. have you smsed her yet? i bet she's already spreading rumours. koh jid ma (that's korean for lies) to minghan: so are you donating the times? (you tagged so much but never get to the point, sigh) to yiling: you can pass them to me the next time i meet you which is prob tml for AND dinner right? i haven't replied huizhen cos i can't decide whether i wanna see your horrible faces. so i'll see tml to mg: but they are quite a lot! yiling plus mine= quite a lot. if i can get hold of a bike i'll bike over to your house. if not i think it's impossible for you to carry in one hand lah. btw yip's name is michelle yip, we call her yip cos there's another michelle yeong in our clique. and she's fiercer than you. i blew off enid today =( supposed to go out walk walk with her but i went out with xinyun yesterday and when i reached home my calves and shoulders hurt so much i couldn't sleep and had to pop another panadol pill i feel so UNHEALTHY cos i devour so many panadols for these few days lah. freaking new year my foot. i secretly wanna go and run, secretly cos my mother will kill me if i dare to go and run and make myself sick again (the weather is still shitty, it's super warm and sunny and nice if you look out the window but if you go downstairs the bloody wind is so cold) apparently whenever i stare at the laptop for more than half an hr i still get a headache. i went out with xinyun yesterday, and her friend cewane whose name is as unique as mine just that it sounds and looks better. mine looks like i came from an undeveloped part of china. or korea. (somebody asked me whether i was korean when i said my name...tsk) i bought stuff. again. but they're all like basics and stuffs i need lah, so it's not counted and we're supposed to spend aren't we, recession and all. see, economics is useful. xinyun is still cute, and she's bloody skinny. her friend is tall and bloody skinny. i felt like a bulldozer next to them. no lah, kidding. xinyun coaxed me into getting GINGER SOYA cos she said it's good for me since i'm having stomach upset (which i'm not telling my mother if not she'll nag a lot again) DO NOT get ginger soya from jollibean. it sucks. it really really sucks. okay, my brain isn't really functioning anymore. byebye i'm sorry i blog so much. it's the fact that i'm 85% cured and recovered but cos i have nothing to do except watch on air, an activity that triggers overwhelming nagging and jealousy from my mother who claims that her life is worse than a slave and all i do is slack around while she slogs her guts out (which is true, the i slack around part, but no loh, she where got slog) and besides watching on air........i skulked(got such a word) tudou waiting for people to upload house (where is the latest episode?!) i miss the cynical jerk and erm, more skulking around wandering what to do with the time oh yeah i did something constructive today! i managed to get my mind moving and thought abt how to settle the donation stuff (see below, it's a very concise summary and it requires more brain juice than i predicted) and erm i practised piano. do you noe that after being sick for 4 days your ears will be unaccustomed to sounds? i couldn't hear what i was playing lah,if you get what i mean. and my fingers! they are like flabs! like longish buttery doughs!! omg i was so horrified. so once again it's almost four o'clock and while lijie kb and yiling are slogging away at iras, i'm here wondering what to do again. do you noe, that i almost cannot stand listening to pop songs now unless they come from the tv along with the drama..? amazing huh. and of course i'm blabbering now again. i'm having this weird giddy feeling in my head that happens everytime i face the laptop for more than half an hour...urgh. but i can't get to sleep. so what the hell shld i do now?! watch more on air? that's ridiculous. i'm gonna finish it very soon lah. oh man. life without sch is so.....very.....erm, boring. unconstructive. shld i do xinyun's birthday??? (but it requires cutting and pasting...very tiring) shld i read newsweek (there's this very old cinema black and white portrait of him on the front) oh sian. re: donation of books. to mg: hey how do i pass the stuff to you? or to save trouble, shld i just post to your friend's address? to yip and yiling: erm hello, due to laziness issues i'm donating all our stuff to my friend's friend -.- who is setting up this erm, some centre in cambodia that helps the students there to apply for university directly and also need materials to load their library. second, the materials needed are English TYS, story books, old issues of reader digests, National Geographics and Times mag. (mg, can you please ask ur friend whether newsweek is fine? shld be right? newsweek more chim than times...) anyway back to yip and yiling, i've also packed in our literature readers, kaleidescope, rjc's ksbull (i kept the one where my article got published! everytime i read it i'm so amazed that it came out of me, must have eaten something right that morning lah) and according to mg's very cheerful tag almost anything that will help them improve their english. the thing is, i dun think they want scientific stuff, like encyclopedias and stuff (damnit, i have to throw them away?!) or do they mg?? so please remove those, or if you dun feel bad abt it, stash it in somewhere so her friend can erm help you throw away the stuff so you dun feel guilty abt them... and finally, about collection, the easy way out is of course to mail the entire thing to her friend (if you haven't done it before you go to the post office nearest your house and learn it, it's quite simple) the harder way out if for me to go to your houses to collect them, dump it at mg's house so she can dump it at her friend's house, which is no trouble except that my brother is erm, sick, so not very convenient. and err, i dunno whether mg will bite me if i dump all the stuff there....... (this is the cue for mg to tell me what i shld do, ahem) so yes, tag your various responses on my tagboard. go on! and anyone else (namely minghan with his thousand plus TIMES mag) who has stuff to donate please tag too=) (minghan noes that friend or not huh?) ps: ON AIR IS REALLY NICE!  this, is a good drama. of course not as good as beethoven virus (i seriously think beethoven virus is totally tops lah, except for the ...ending..but korean endings are always weird because they rush against time to finish it.sigh) yes yes, i do nth all day long but just eat and watch drama and sleep i think besides the pale complexion (like super pale, paler than edward's) you can't tell that i'm sick because i think i became fatter lah.......only eat and sleep leh you noe that i eat even more when i'm sick?cos i think that the body is fighting a battle and eating will help it recover sooner mah. so yes i eat even more.... i'm almost afraid to look at myself in the mirror lah, i look like, super pale. back to the show, it's really nice. i'm so happy that kim ha nuel finally finally shakes off her previous fragile, weird, girly roles. and that guy from winter sonata also, he has this really "i'm so pathetic" look...until now. oh, if you wanna watch bitch fight, you shld watch this show. the two female leads are excellent esp when they are trying to glare holes into each other. i find my mother. so. exasperating. this is utterly utterly RIDICULOUS. this is the reason why my character turned out like this, why i can perfectly imagine myself living alone with no one for company except a cat or a dog or a freaking chameleon my mother insisted that there's blood on my clothes. she say that's what the stain looks like and i went like, HOW CAN THERE POSSIBLY BE BLOOD ON MY CLOTHES. den she kept saying it's there cos of my period AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE PERIOD FOR GOD'S SAKE and she kept niam-ing and niam-ing and niam-ing about how unhygienic i am, how absolutely horrible i am as a female and yadayadayadayada and all the while i am like "what the HELL? it's not blood lah, it's just some stupid stain i got from else where which i can't seem to erase lah! wth!" den she again kept niam-ing about how poor a life she has, how much a slave she resembles, how come she lives till so old still must wash clothes by hand for her daughter. oh freaking fuck you lah i am so pissed off that i am brimming with energy now lah i seriously considered hurling the mug at her just to illustrate how freaking pissed off i am at her and how close i am to displaying my so called violent tendencies. fucking ridiculous this is ridiculous lah i can feel all my muscles becoming flabby and my stomach churning in protest of all the drugs i'm dumping in my body, not even counting the chestnut water my mom cooked, the nin jiom thingie that i drank..and all the plain water that i forced down my throat in order to cure myself of this sickness and YET i'm STILL sick. i do believe sometimes that someone up there looks out for me though=) my work has been pushed back to 3feb. ain't that great. i personally dun mind not working, and i was still worrying this morning how i'm gonna go to work tml when my mind sorta begins to rot from the inside out approximately 2 hours after i wake up. it's like, wake up, feels great, convinces myself that this will be a good day bathe, feels even better. eat something, starting to feel weird. by the time i reach the end of the meal and the end of the show i'm watching, my mind begins to wander and i can't really decide whether i'm cold or hot. and approximately 2 hours later, i conclude that i haven't recovered. wad shit lah. sobs. nth seems to work. fell asleep as i finished "the soloist" and had quite a good sleep..think it was the meds. the thing is, once the effect of the meds wear off, i feel the usual pains/aches again. sobs. i yearn for yiling/enid now.......cos they will massage my shoulders for me =/ i've barely woken up for 2 hours and now i'm not sure what i'm supposed to do there's nth good on tv....and i've finished the soloist.. technically i can go pack up the stuff for mg/herfriend... maybe i shld huh, oh no, why can't i seem to sweat. it's the bloody wind lah.....oh man i really planned to shop with aunt de leh -.- like that how am i gonna work on tues!!!! this is exasperating. how's homecoming? change of plans. i've decided since i can't seem to sleep off this stupid illness. i'm gonna really really sweat it out. just changed my mother's bedsheets and cleaned her room for her. i'm so ANGRY can. i noe you probably can't understand why her room is like so freaking dirty lah, like once you step around in two circles your feet will be totally black and plus, the ventilation is so bad because they hate the wind so they closed up all the windows. PLUS she kept saying that she's "suay" for being sick i just totally shouted at her, it's not suay can, it's totally because your room is so dirty anyway mg, how do i pass the books and stuff? i'm gonna spend the whole day today doing clean up and sorting and shit. hopefully by tml i can go shopping with aunt~ i am sick. ..=( and furthermore i can't even say definitely that i'm sick because i'm stuck in the pre-flu stage where your whole body aches like crap and you feel like a super old granny with creaking joints that creak and scream and moan even when you just lie on your bed. i have a mild fever, like SO MILD at 37.6 degrees which isn't an outright fever, so i'm left feeling like something pasted heat packs all over my body. it feels like there's a thin layer of hot air surrounding my body the whole time and it doesn't help that of course the stupid weather is so weird, the sun is so bright, but the bloody wind is so cold and windy. so i'm left with this feeling like i can't do things like sit infront of a comp and watch House Season 1 (cos NO ONE UPLOADED THE LATEST EPISODE YET!) because only my eyes move and my knees will yao and yao and yao in frustration or, i can blog, because seriously, only my fingers move, my eyes and head remain immobile. it takes too much energy to move my head because then my shoulders and back will twitch and then they will ache. i wonder whether it's got anything to do with the fall at lai lai restaurant, cos my hips ache the most, the parts where i bruised them during the fall. and i can't rmb what i wanted to blog abt. and what's your recovery style like? i noe it's kinda a weird question but my recovery style is quite weird. i dun wan people to ask whether i've recovered esp on every single morning bro: you how? recover alr? me: like that lah, stop asking and i just want people to stop talking to me and telling me to do stuff, because then i'll have to respond and responding takes up a lot of energy mother: go change the bedsheets me: ignore. and i just like to hole up in my own room, perpetually holding a mug of hot water in an attempt to "Sweatout" the fever, and reading a book (i got the soloist!) while i'm not really reading it ..this is a lousy post. skip it. to all: I AM FINALLY HIRED! IRAS, starting on tue every mon-fri 830-6 I DUN HAVE A LIFE ANYMORE LAH STARTING FROM TUES. omg and somemore ku was so encouraging telling me that i'll wanna quit my job after a week cos the last time he went there, no one there looked like they wanna be there. and anybody who goes down to IRAS sure dun have anything good wan lo, TAXES leh. anyway, me stupid went to drink a concentrated cup of coffee last night and so winded up only sleeping 2 hours yesterday. and went out the whole day today, with xinyun, den to vj (ku and najib) i'm aching all over, onset of something, prob my mother passed the flu to me..... update tml den yawns*  err, sorry, please tilt ur head.hello meigui and yes how come your water can move wan, very cool anyway i DO have books and TYS (but what kinda TYS do you wan? JC ones can right? den JC notes?) along with yiling's and yip's erm, i've this selfish bias desire to donate to your friend's OEC (it stands for overseas education center hello) because erm it's easier to pass the stuff to you guys but, i think i've already promised guys from bookstoread.org so erm, can't be so flippant anyway but the bookstoread people dun want TYS and stuff, so if you want i can ask my super huge clique (clique please look here) for TYS and JC notes stuff? and i think i have O level friends too......(xinyun i'm refering to xinhua) help me ask your friend? btw, tell ur friend her hair doesn't look big at all. okay, back to non-mg-addressing post. reminder to self POST THE LETTERS TO VANESSA AND RUTH! FIND STAMPS! POST THEM!OMG i always do this kinda things, write the letters, seal them up, and forget about them.urgh note to self: go dentist!!!! time past to remove retainer! this is bad, i think i have to put retainer for the top again. teeth have shifted due to my laziness bleagh and! my piano serial number came out in 4D again AND! my mother won 1000 dollars. AND! once again, she bought two dollars SMALL when the number came out in the third prize win lo win lo really the last time it was top, the second time it was third prize i told her you might as well not buy if my father had bought it instead of her we'd have moved house the last time alr, cos he always buy 10 dollars instead of a pathetic 1 dollar so technically if we strike one more time, the piano would be free! as it is it only cost 3000 now! woo! i take it personally that it's number came out can, for some reason this piano makes me feel that erm, this might be a watershed event in my piano playing life. hai. i think when kim myung min dies of cancer in white tower i'll just wanna die too. so xing ku, ambitiously coveting for the role of chief in surgery then died of cancer. no wonder the actor got depression after acting the role. btw mg, WHERE ARE YOU IN BEETHOVEN VIRUS? hehe and felicia (I'm bolding this incase she skips her name) have you started on beethoven virus?! and i was watching this documentary on channel u yesterday talking about noah's ark it's this animal shelter that houses like stray cats and dogs (almost 1000 of them) founded by a singaporean in JB. and the founder who is in his 50s look SO YOUNG! and i'll always rmb what he said sometimes, you just have to learn from the cats, take a nap in the afternoon if you have troubles or whatever, when you wake up it's a new day and you can pick up some of the more manageable troubles to try again. (but why cats? i believe dogs nap too?) but then i think he's a great guy, not many singaporeans can give up a high paying job and city life to live amidst like a 1000 animals. omg i'll just scream, can you imagine the woofs and the meows and the cawings (i believe there are birds) and whatever noises that monkeys make too but the dogs are really cute! which comes to my life long resolution i shall volunteer my time away when i retire i shall not become like my mother who once again, broke her own record of irrelevant insane remarks just now i was making coffee i was making coffee near to the toast machine and she said "DON'T EAT SO MUCH TOAST BREAD!" den i said "I WHERE GOT EAT TOAST BREAD? I'M MAKING COFFEE" she said "DUN EAT SO MUCH, YOU ATE IN THE MORNING LE" i, on the verge of puking blood "I AM NOOOOT MAKING TOAST BREAD, IT'S COFFEE why do you say such stupid irrelevant stuff?" she said, and this is the most ingenious defence i've heard in my life, the most ridiculous link i've heard before toast bread and coffee "because you are making coffee near the toast machine" OMG LAH, WHAT RELEVANCE IS THERE LAH? oops, i forgot to post up the mega huge collage me and naomi, okay fine, mostly naomi, did. post it up later in the other entry. and it's lying on the floor in my room obstructing my already very limited floor space and causing me to do the very healthy exercise of stretching whenever i wish to reach my bed from my door. because i need a frame. and i think if you see it later you'll understand why a frame is erm, quite hard to come by i spent the entire morning and early afternoon looking for jobs so much so that i had this headache and was prone to emitting dinosaur roars that go like this "urgh..eeeewwwwoooor" it's just so frustrating to get a job. so i learnt from the cats, and went to sleep, and slept away the beautiful afternoon, woke up and stuffed myself full, and realized that we won 1000 dollars. no wonder cats have 9 lives, i suppoesd i can live like that too. this is ridiculous i keep having missing calls? people just tend to call when i'm in the cinema or when i'm in the toilet or whatever. it's ridiculous and pris this is all your fault why do you have to blog such a profound "meaning" post. now you've got me reflecting about my life. not that i dun have stuff to do, i have tons. but i'm just too lazy to do them. hope that when naomi comes tonight and we do the posters together i'll feel a bit more accomplished. and i've decided. i shall go and run before evening. cos again, my digestive system feels crappy. and oh of course since i realized that my mp3 isn't really really spoiled -.- and NOW i shall be determined to study and read thru my theory. sigh sigh sigh actually scratch the above paragraph, i dun feel particularly useless at all~ yep, not useless, totally not. not useless (chants) hey mg, sorry i really can't resist saying this "who's that guy who said will you consider me?" please tell me you dun actually befriend him, how insensitive can he be. actually everytime this kinda thing happens i dun really noe what to say or do, so normally i just dun say or do anything (there were times in the past when i said and did too much i think so i've reflected) cos usually when i'm in such a mood, i just want people to go away unless i approach you. so yes, hope you're okay (i think we're such scheming friends cos even when we dun say anything we keep tabs on each other...like stalkers bleagh) so anyway i'm waiting for 11am to come so i can meet px who've decided to skip sch for a day to watch australia at yishun gv i think, and i predict, that we shall be the only ones at the cinema like that time me and mom watched some show. it's quite shuang actually watched red cliff 2 yesterday i can't get over takeshi kaneshiro lah, i think his zhu ge liang is cute, but he's so ridiculously good looking that he just looks very very comical standing next to the cute horse. everytime i look at him in his get up i just wanna snigger, which makes me feel like a love-struck teenager when actually it's just him. ..was a good show though but there was this stupid girl with a high pitched voice that laughed at seemingly nth, there was a point when the whole cinema just seethed at her. the others were busy laughing at her laughter, could it be layjia? i haven't decided what to do after watching Australia. yiling's at orchard, meeting xinyun on thurs, pris is at tuition and celebrating birthday later (again?) so i'm technically friend-less and job-less. so i'm gonna bring along a library book, a note book, and my theory book probably going IMM to get my stupid piano cover (which they OWED ME!!) and sitting down somewhere quiet to erm read thru basic theory shld i bring my laptop............ .. that's a bloody good idea dun you think? ..shld i? but it's SO HEAVY....! right, i think you guys are really bored, i've been getting unusually many tags. oh did you guys watch golden globe yesterday? it's FUNNY okay i swear golden globe is better than oscars, at oscars they just crack profound inside jokes which no one finds funny except the insiders. anyway they were talking abt benjamin button and how he seems to grow younger as he gets older, den that guy (i forgot his name) said something about how "this is true of almost everyone you see in this room... (leaves room for implication)" i snort* nothing much to day hmm. oh yes i spent two hours at bukit timah in a "sit in" session which is supposed to let me observe how teachers teach. this is how adults teach students step 1 plaster on a very brilliant smile "HELLO! HOW ARE YOU TODAY? GOT PRACTISE?" step 2 perfect the art of faseltto (how do you spell it) and speak using an unnecessary high pitch "NEVER PRACTISE? WHY NEVER PRACTISE? YOU LAZY PIG AH" step 3 master the art of coaching with eyes open "no, wrong, tsk, that's a C. no, not THAT C, the lower one, that's an F (you pig)" step 4 undestand the power of a sticker "so how? you think got pass?" ...... "one star lah okay, better than nothing right?" grins happily* i know i know i was once like that, i was once a stupid little girl who groaned too much and whined too much and practised too little and i was once a stupid girl who had to spend half an hour to play 12 bars. 12 bars. with, a total of maybe 40 notes. i swear i almost fell asleep at the seat. it's no joke trying to keep awake for two hours listening to ... "no, that's wrong, it's not C, it's B, where's B?" ..........omgggggg i promise to do my best to do my duty to ossia to serve my duty and teach stupid children and to keep my salary (i can't find a rhyme for law here) (the guides pledge lah, the usual one goes like this i promise to do my best, to do my duty to god, to serve my country and help other people and to keep the guide's law)   imagine my delight. somebody shares the same thought!!!shld i write in to the columnist to express my gratitude?
 Wonder nyonya! snorts somemore*i love you ng piak hah, whoever you are, male or female. you amuse me too much. omg i feel so stupid dun laugh you noe how i said my mp3 doesn't emit sound? ..of course it doesn't. THE VOLUME IS AT 1.   oh man.i really wasn't kidding when i said i had enough to cover up one wall. and the postcards, they are pretty eh? the posters too. too bad i didn't buy FIRST when lord of the ring was showing. i could buy back copies i supposed..but i'm too lazy ..i need the help of creative people WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE? life, is good wad i wonder whether felicia has reached new zealand. yeah, as i was saying. life without a job is not bad wad. let's see..i spent the entire morning practising on my beloved piano (i'm considering naming it because it's soooo adorable) after which it's noon so i watched white tower, had lunch, den zoomed abt doing nth until 2 when i started writing to ruth and vanessa liu..... after that...read "in her shoes" it's a bloody long book, takes quite long to finish it. but it's good. ...and i can't stand the del sol string quartet rendition of libertango........................it's refreshing in some ways, but....isn't it more.......nerve-wrecking den tango-ing. ...so noisy lah the stupid string in the background. hmm. apparently xinyun's house no. is still "not in use" .......so i assumed she hasn't paid her bills and they are all still surviving on their hps and stealing other people's wireless ..i think i have enough FIRST posters to cover up one wall of my room leh. shld i? ..but that's ridiculous. ...on the other hand, each magazine IS 4.50. i'm blabbering. i'm SO sorry but this is how unemployed carefree people like me blog. skips away happily* tsk. there's something wrong with hotmail isn't it? or is just me? how come when i click on the interface nth happens? it's like hotmail is dao-ing me ..tsk damn, the soloist is only released in US april 2009. hai wanted to watch it quite badly maybe in the meantime i'll find the diving bell movie mg strongly recommended. and go buy the book (once i get some form of money) actually i changed my mind after reading the synopsis and reviews online, i've decided to just bloody get the book by this weekend. but first, gotta finish "in her shoes" first. it's really not bad. AND i've decided that i shld just bloody hell get the borders card. seriously, i buy so many books and stuff per year, i shld just get the card .. and so..*goes on my to-buy list on notepad* anyway, there are so many stuff to think about and do each day that i wonder why anyone would wanna get a job. was a nice day today, went back to vj today to visit piano ensemble, juniors and the evil and mean ku. it's really strange how much i used to dread the cca. dun wanna blog anymore on the matter, some stuff are hard to articulate. and i can't wait to ask junru how her relief teaching for normal tech goes HAHAHA why why why why doesn't my mother understand, that i really dun like talking to her. i know it's sad, and that i'm unfilial, and whatever you will say, but i really dun like talking to my mother in fact i go out of my way to avoid it. i have nothing to say to you, you dun understand what i understand, what's to say and her practicality disgusts me. i was wondering why she nagged so little last night cos she bought the serial number for my piano and it came out. tou jiang okay, not consolation. the thing is she only bought 1 dollar i was so disgusted that i just told her you might as well not buy ..shall come back and blog later when i got over her. in summary, went to see felicia off, wasn't teary or anything compared to yeons ago, kinda nice actually, she's prob rotting somewhere in brisbane now on transit den went to naomi's to hang out, do nth and just wait for time to pass, ate cheese fries, went parkway where she spent her time shitting .. den i went back to vj, talked to piano ensemble juniors, i really think karen is damn cute, talked to ku who insisted that he's not mean shall blog more later. i want a diary. it's very disconcerting, to have a toddler screaming in beat with your ost. how is it possible that the three TS/MJ that i've been to all ran out of White Tower? the korean version, not the jerry yan version. and how is it possible that white tower, a show about scheming doctors has such a good soundtrack? love it. xinyun is gone~ she went genting lah, for three days till friday so sad lah, she went early this morn didn't even have time to say byebye. =( anyhow, waiting for the photos from yesterday to be uploaded by mg. was quite fun, but stupid. and felicia is going back to new zealand! and i'm so envious, her flat mate is korean by birth but american by raising. I WANNA LEARN KOREAN. and i haveh awful blisters from wearing FLATS. ..nth much to blog abt. later den  this photo is specially for mg, mannequins in bangkok are alot more scarier than mannequins in singapore. so there.and obviously yiling erm, let's put it this way, cannot do ugly  one of the more decent photos we took, cos we were too busy shopping. look at the massive green bag i was carrying.wow. if i practise piano for over an hour my ears tend to get blocked. there's one octave that tends to produce "eeeeee" sound when i hit it, cos the frequency coincide with some glass surface around my house. so my ears are like...blocked now. anyway to get rid of my wake up at 12pm sleep at 2am habit, i went to sleep at 7pm yesterday and skipped not only little nyonya but also iljime =( but i woke up at 8am today and swore i'll do this from today onwards it's SO NICE to be able to eat breakfast, watch one episode of white tower, practise one hour plus of piano and still having lots of time left because it's only noon. fabulous eh, i'm hungry but these few days dun seemed to eat much cos, like what's the point? it's not like i spent any energy doing any constructive stuff. ...yeah i'm sadistic that way guys went into NS today. woo. looking forward to laugh at their weird botak heads. thought this thought when i was bathing, "they are starting a new phase in life" i think we're abt to start one too. ..blogging crap again. hai wish list @ an easy to use camera @ handphone @ money to fall from the sky an addition to my new year resolutions stop sleeping at 1/2/3am den waking in the afternoon it's really bad can, i feel like shit every single time i do it but i keep doing it. i think one of the reasons is cos xinyun is only non-MIA in the wee hours....................aren't i pathetic did i mention my mp3 player is spoiled? there's sounds when i press the buttons but no sounds of the songs themselves...................... i hope the warranty has expired. cos den i wanna get another color. they're quite pretty yes? so i can you noe sorta collect them-.- and use them as thumbdrive oso not bad........... ........ i'm blogging crap. again. okay lemme think, i shld go look at my todo list that's permanently on my desktop. hmm ..okay den...hmm 大囍事 THE WEDDING OF THE YEAR TEASER TRAILER.mov
..our trailer really pales in comparison huh. Defiance - Trailer #1 TRUE-HD
i think this trailer didn't have the quote. it goes something like "our revenge, is to live" The Soloist Trailer
I like it.It's such a different concept but i would have been more impressed if it's an original. But i supposed it's more touching that it's real. that people bother. and of course i love the music. i play the piano afterall -.- year 2007/2008 i know this is a little belated but i only got the reflective mood just now when i was playing my wonderful new piano. i don't even know where to start. maybe it's easier to list, gets me in the mood # experiences performing on stage truly truly, like preparing ages and painfully and miserably for a performance and playing it on stage. the first time hearing applause and knowing that your friends are applauding very loudly specially for you. and the first time i have a partner, the first time i can feel his/her feelings across the stage and the first time he/she shares the applause and feeling proud that we've achieved it finally # first time experiencing an near panic attack when you realize you've screwed on stage. the first time when i felt the spotlight truly truly on us and that there was only two options, to go on or to chicken out. the first time that i experienced something so drama, i could literally hear mr ku barking in my ears and seeing his stern look, telling us to go on if not we're both so screwed. the first time i can feel the panic across two grands and knowing that if i panic too we're both screwed. the first time i felt proud not because we performed well but because we both did our best and we overcame ourselves. #first time that i was stuck in a huge clique of ten, and all girls at that. first time i overcame the initial repulse and disgust and boredom when they started talking about condoms tampons, makeup, bf/gf hair skin nails bones eyes eyeshadow eyeliners and everything that i used to really hate. learning to accept differences, and learning that everyone has a past has difficulties and learning that there is still a lot more to learn # watching beethoven virus and despite how it seems that all the effect is superficial it's really not. realized that for the past 18 years i've been listening to classical music all wrong, found the "feel" for classical music and finally seemed to appreciate it. realized that some of my playing techniques are wrong, i'm using the wrong part of my arm/hand for strength, i'm swinging my arm too much and my fingers are too bouncy. # survived insults, survived quarrels, survived emotional breakdowns and till now haven't plucked up the courage to tell you guys what's going on. #first time i "attitude" a teacher, hated ku, got to know ku, now loves ku. i think he grew up a bit too, to be nicer to be more considerate and i like to think maybe our batch had something to do with it. #one of the favourite memories is during ocip when the room would become warm and cozy after the mass group gathering den we'll huddle down in our sleeping bags on thin mattress and me and yiling would face each other and gossip till we fall asleep. and giggling madly when our stomachs blurghed (is there such a word) respectively because our digestive systems are damn efficient due to the regular and healthy meals. #don't you think that 17/18 is the time of your life when you came to this...acceptance, that your life no longer revolves around your friends, your school, the exam papers or the aftersch remediasl. it used to be like that, in primary sch in sec sch, because we see each other too much. den somewhere along the way, we lose friends, we gained alot more friends, den suddenly 17/18 everyone became a different but definitive person. you start to like things your friends don't, find passions your friends don't understand. Gossips get lesser and then gradually you realize that you can still talk amiably with people you used to hate, and "best friends" disappear from your dictionary and it didn't hurt very much when you realize you're no longer part of your friends' lives most of the time. i think we grew up. # got to know myself better, and for better or worse, realized that the core of it doesn't change (i went down to carry groceries for my mum so i lost the flow...hai) # realized that weird friendships formed, weird relationships formed, and realized that the different dynamics are quite enjoyable # i dunno whether you'll understand this, i think that if you live with someone, or if you are in a relationship with someone, friend or gf/bf, to have no expectations and to accept things as they come will yield the most enjoyable results. to expect someone to live up to expectations and assume responsibilities set by you is just ruining the thing. #i think everyone of us needs something for ourselves, we're selfish that way. everyone of us should have a passion, have a goal, or something that defines your life for yourself. if you get caught up with someone else's and has nothing for yourself, at the end there'll just be this hollow feeling. and only individuals that are fulfilled themselves appear content, i supposed, and attractive. #i can't seem to overcome stage fright but amazingly these few days i realize i do miss the stage. # 2007/2008 seems the time of my life when you start to go out with weird combis of friends and forced to strike up weird conversations and then learning to accept even this as soemthing fun and enjoyable. #as stated on the left, i overcame 2.4km and now jogs regularly! damn proud of this fact okay. and i supposed i got over the unfair fact that the more i jog the more swollen my calves become. it's super unfair but it's okay. i rather they be muscle-swollen den...i suppose flabby? #too many things happened in vj/class that i can't rmb most of it. i think it's the whole culture and everything. JC really changes people doesn't it. #actually at the end of it, i dun think i've changed, i've just...grown up. 2009 den #i am going to learn classical music from the start. all the way from the start. take baby steps and learn it properly again. it's no wonder i can't appreciate it before, how can you appreciate classical music when your piano denys you the chance of feeling the individual keys, the scales, the ...THE SOUND. sigh. hope that by the end of 21 years old i can muster up the "feel" for it. #jog longer and further -.- (maybe they will reward me with nice legs.hmm) maybe retake up volleyball? or join another sport. #realized that there's still a lot of things to learn, it's so weird, we're all women now aren't we? it's really really really weird to cross over that stage (i think naomi hasn't hmm but it's okay i think it's a good thing) and there's still too many emotions that i haven't experienced. yep #i know there'll be more misery. i know it. to quote a phrase in a bong dal hee, the most sad thing is to realize there's no one to confide in because it's simply too shameful/embarrasing. yeah, totally suits me. #learn korean, learn blading. and learn pursue things that i wan regardless of how un-understanding my parents are. #try my very best to turn out different from my parents/brothers. # i promised this to myself very long ago, to like what i do to devote to what i do because too many times in the past i become this old grouchy whinning ugly person who can't do her job properly because she's too busy counting her miseries. ..that's it then. i think half of you will just skim over everything -.- i'm right aren't i i'm trying to think of what to do in university. it just sucks. i know what i like. i like people's stories (i dun like people) i like how they sculpt the characters in different shows, how they create the appropriate atmosphere using music, how they focus on the expressions the slight twitch or twinge of muscles to show feelings. the interplay of subtleties. the possibilities. yeah i'm so ....artistic. (eww) but the thing is, i like watching. not sure whether i like producing. ah. still very long of life to go. sometimes i think that's a bad thing. i think it's quite a nice thing today =) oh man i'm running out of songs to listen to gotta buy beethoven soon, kinda miss classical music and did you guys listen to the new david garrett? it's.......i'm sorry i prefer the first album and pop music is quite thrashy these days i'm listing out the things i want to accomplish today on notepad and leaving it on my desktop because i've been..distracted and lazy since i came back from bangkok i can't get to sleep till3am and dun wake up till 12pm i announce that i am officially into holiday mood. damnit first day of 2009 i think most of the stuff in my list entails clearing up and shit. i'm always clearing up aren't i? i dun wanna blog abt resolutions, they are on the left under 2009 and what i achieved in 2008 are there too. not a bad year. actually quite a good year oh and i realized i left out A levels. erm, okay dun talk abt it it's depressing right i have a ton to do, byebye did i mention i really love rui en. oh.man.christopher lee is singing. did i mention that my brother has his album when he first released it. yes christopher lee released an album before. *he's singing* oh, it's okay lah i suppose, quite nice actually. the world is unfair. beautiful people shldn't be blessed with good vocals. haha. i came online to blog abt resolutions lah but got distracted. btw, i think little nyonya is the sole singapore produced show where they actually put in their utmost effort into producing a good soundtrack. one of the reasons i watch the show is cos of the songs, which are bloody nice. ...my gosh, lin ming lun sounds nice leh. kns. do people develop good vocals when they reach a certain stage?? ... is zhang yao dong and felicia chin dating or something. how come the vibe is so awkward when they sing together. ... very suspicious >.< i know i know why are you reading this kinda crap and erm why zhang yao dong keeps looking at felicia chin when he sings..............??!! i think it's just me. yeah it's just me. but he really keeps looking at her lah. .right 2009 resolutions. ....tml lah hor. |
