|
Normal's Overated.
sokmuiam a cynical person who hates orientation and the ridiculous rah rah atmosphere. shares a love-hate relationship with ku-ster and the piano. god should populate the earth instaneously with adults, thus skipping the absurd toddlers and squealingn babies fan of korean shows and the rude ah jun mas, secretly think bae yong jun is not bad looking. listening to classical music on the train is a waste of my battery. Dislikes babbling women who are not efficient.adores House. Thinks that friends are sometimes a burden Adores Xinyun immensely. Life is too short to bother socializing with people I dun like. You either choose the pill and live your life barely feeling your toes, or ignore the pill and accept pain as part of the life. Secretly clings. Sometimes. |
|
|
random quirks
my student made a guess regarding my age and said i was fifteenmr ku insulted me by saying i look like david carrdine whoever dares to say there is a certain resemblance better be prepared for my wrath. plugged tagboard
>
ShoutMix chat widget archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
okay this is it, i give up to yiling and mg: I GIVE UP. I DUNNO WHAT TO GET FOR YOU GUYS. BIRTHDAYS ARE TERRIBLE. I'M STILL THINKING. DUN PESTER ME. to the clique: pls dun do a gathering before i figure out what to get for yiling. i think it's just me, cos this definitely doesn't happen to xinyun.. but if i just slack the whole day away by playing stupid games on computer and stoning in my living room and quoting enid, trying to achieve a state of motionless because the air isn't moving.. i develop a headache=( pls tell me this is not a sign of impending workaholicism. though i suspect that it IS a sign....... so yes i'm about to start doing the only piece of work i intend to do today..(piano doesn't count) ..clearing my table -.- not that it's very messy just that i wanna throw away all the SPRING/URA/NUS/NTU/SMU shit that's everywhere. time to all chuck it away. since my future is no longer as open to options as it was...2 mths ago? ..was it only 2 mths ago? and i have a terrible shoulder ache =( why ah, is it too much sleep? been having it a while. and kenneth i've decided to get les choristes ost..as usual -.- why am i such a sucker for ost? and i'm thinking whether or not i shld invest in a squash racket..anyone knows where there's squash lessons? i wanna exercise but running is near suicidal in this heat..and a bike is.. hey! a bike costs abt the same as a racket!! damn. alr $180 is gone again cos i'm going to this photography course with yeong...... apparently it's really amateurish (good) and she's the youngest there cos others are all working adults (even better, i hate socializing btw) and since yeong doesn't spout nonsense and when she does she does it in a very low...erm, un-hysterical tone..so yeah! dun think i can handle further crapping after work..cos me and rachel craps too much at work. and i have to new readers of my blog! woo hoo! rachel and jielin! the latter who is enjoying herself in japan..damn her..she better better buy back a decent headphone.. cos i'm waiting for the headphones before buying the albums that i want.. cos it just doesn't do them justice if i plug in the soaked earphones i have now (i spilled coffee all over my work desk rmb?? some of it went into the ear phones -.- so now it occasionally issue weird sounds..) i think i might as well marry rachel alr, we're practically married, we see each other like 10 hrs a day??? no wait, then i'll have to marry my computer too. but it's so freaking fat...... oh man. my headache..and this..weird, bloated dizzy kinda feeling that arises because i did NOTHING. ..obviously xinyun being an airhead doesn't have this kinda problem......... and obviously kenneth who is immobile doesn't have this problem either.. i'm off to scribble "shopping list" "to do list" in my notebook. AFTER chucking all the uni stuff. yeah reading px's posts made me feel like.. like everyone's moved on....but i'm still obstinately...running in circles. all hell's gonna break lose. in a simple summary my ah ma is going back to my uncle's house, who kicked her out 2 years ago in the first place. my ah ma is very happy because that uncle is her favourite son. my mother and father are erm..kinda....puzzled, but happy because she is happy cynical me thinks that all hell's gonna break lose. very soon. anyway, i'm very very afraid that i wun be able to get to sleep tonight, cos i ran out of things to drink/eat just now and i.....gave in..and drank coffee...after 7pm. in case you don't know, caffeine doesn't work on me, unless i take it after 7pm. ..but it's okay..that's les chorista later. =D my ahma is very very happy. not very sure why. i personally hope that i dun live long enough to worry abt who's gonna take care of me. no, reaaaly, i hope i dun live too long unless i have tons of grandchildren. maybe i shld adopt... and right, i think it's just damn shiok life to teach students in the morning, and have my own lesson in the afternoon if i have it my way, i'll choose to have that kinda schedule my whole life learn something, then teach something. kinda like..quite carefree ..at least, it seems that way when ur students are all pretty nice... and my teacher bought a score for me! granted it's not very ex, but it's still very nice of him to think of me=) btw, i re-watched order of the phoenix. just had a craving for british accents and blue eyes. and i wanna say this again, the movies really suck compared to the books. but right, how the hell did the casting director managed to find people who look so cuteeee when they were young and turned out so great? look at emma watson!!! and daniel radcliffe!!! and they happened to be great actors too!! and oh yah, the guy who played draco malfoy?! his hair color! and i keep watching the half blood prince trailer.. intend to re-read the book cos i kinda miss the story..and i have no money to buy new books. life is good when your whole family went out and you could enjoy a show without someone barging in. it's GREAT. not sure what i wanna do tml..main programme includes.... reading updike.... playing the piano for hours.. writing in my notebook, i dunno why i like to do such things so much. i wish people can understand that it's really possible to believe in friendship but still fail to live up to it. to px: courage are those who are fearful, but still go on. the fearless aren't courageous, because they didn't overcome anything at all. draw strength from yourself=) it's from one of our primary sch teachers. hope it helps! long time no blog huh? ..i think it's been so long that i've forgotten how to blog...... so i shall write things down in point form, easier for you to disgest, easier for me to write... # my socializing skills officially suck now. unless you are xinyun..cos she talks as incoherently as i do..in weird chopped up phrases and an assumption that the listener can use their brains to connect the dots.. i socialized with a bunch of NUS interview mates yesterday and after about 4 hrs with them (the interview was 2 hrs and then we had to try to get out of nus) i was REALLY exhausted. ask kenneth. it's so freaking tiring to chat when i'm really not very chatty when there's nth to chat about. why can't it be a social agreement that we do not talk on transport?? firstly the damn nuns shuttle bus already makes me sick and then i have to keep track of the conversation which is really hard when you only see the eyes of the person who was talking. ..see, my phrasing. i think i need to start talking properly at work instead of sentences like *makes noise* i wan foooood! *makes noise* *Stretches* *whines* *makes noise* stupid pig ..why are humans so stupid? # work is fine. i'm one of the honored 6 that gets to stay outta the whole bunch of TTAs (it stands for temp tax assistant. how proper) and work at the mighty IRAS (a partner in nation building!) till july..prob late june.. i dun feel honored. i just feel kinda worried that jielin is not around and then i'll have no one to hug....no one to hug!!! she's the second person next to yiling who's good to hug..and who do i hug when it gets cold??? and i'll have to learn new stuff..always so stimulating. # i need some "me" time. which i know is overwhelming kenneth right now. he's spending all his time nursing his leg, watching shows online, and contributing to the humidity in singapore by sweating sweating and sweating. i called him that day to chat cos he was the ONE person that will DEFINITELY pick up his phone cos he has NO WHERE ELSE TO BE and NOTHING ELSE TO DO. =D ..anyway, me time. yes i asked rachel today "when's the last time you took day off just to take day off...?" my ah ma is moving out soon..so i'll have my room back! and then i decided to move my bloody cd player in so i can at last listen to music in peace. and read in peace. i need to do something...absorbing. yeah that's the word. absorbing. like reading a good book. haven't read it for a long time. john updike is good. (he is dead, so do you say john updike was good? but since the books are eternal we're supposed to say john updike is good right?) but he's brainy. and his books can only be read when i'm mentally awake and alert to catch his wit. if not he just sounds like a very vexing old man trying to be sexy. # i finally resumed watching defiance. it's really something to hear daniel craig trying to be a jew. his accent is horrible. but as usual he is quite brilliant. and to see him standing next to a snow white horse and then killing it to feed the meat to his people..is really something. and i still haven't finished it. cos my brother came home, and it's really really REALLY tough to decipher the accents with him nagging ..plus the lousy subtitles dun help either. # me and huizhen watched Taken ytd. lousy director. okay plot. great lead. liam neeson is great. if you look at his side profile he looks a lot like daniel craig. and i actually think he looks like this aged mellower craig. # i'm disappointed, no scratch that.. i've reaffirmed my stand that human beings are selfish creatures who refuse to face it that they're selfish. # another affirmation: friends dun last, just face it lah. just enjoy the period in which it does and let go when it doesn't. and stop expecting them to stick around and catch you when you fall. no one has an emergency hotline that rings whenever one of us is in danger...i'm so cynical right? you know the advantage of being cynical or pessimistic? if the world turns out just as badly as you thought it, you'll be correct. if the world turns out better, then great! you'll be pleasantly surprised. the optimist are the ones who lose out, always. but i still admire people who can be optimistic. i think i was born without the gene. # a third affirmation: i'm a really selfish bitch. i dun really care about you unless your troubles trouble you enough to trouble me. # how is it possible that IRAS has the energy to blast their air con so much that little brown pieces of styrofoam/feather lookalike thing floats down and not have the power to SUSTAIN IRIN?! (irin is our all impt server, without which i can't reply any emails) # i've sorta decided to go nus. sorted out my thinking..kinda... i want piano ensemble. (ticks) i have always wanted usp and according to hz whom i trust wholly (yeah right) "you have an edge if you have usp" (ticks) the nus accounts modules are abt the same as ntu double deg, without the danger that i might get kicked out cos i dun meet the GPA (ticks) it's a new course, so i can always blame the profs, the course, the sch if i dun do well (you shld always prepare a line to say if you fail) (ticks) there's the language prog that teachers korean to amateurs! with an immersion prog! why not man? (ticks) so far no one has commited suicide at NUS yet. amen to the fengshui. (ticks) # i'm trying to master the science, or art, of being emotionally detached. # if i dun reply your sms it's because i rarely check my phone at work and when i'm at home i dump it in my bag. # i spotted $100 worth of cds that i wanna buy just from a 10 mins walkthrough in gramophone. # i wanna do new stuff...list of consideration as below : squash (HZ!!) : swimming (but it'll mean that i'll have to actually try on a suit, cringe at the mirror, and still buy the damn suit. and wear the suit during the short period of time from the changing room to the pool...) : photography lessons with yeong (i'm still waiting for our next badminton session so i can talk to her properly) : korean lessons (postponed..cos nus might offer..but i still feel like going with xinyun..) : buying shoes. it is NEW stuff. i haven't bought new shoes for very long. and all my shoes bite, i think they have little teeth that snips flesh off my foot. they're so bloody uncomfortable i feel like throwing them all away and getting new ones : getting a gym membership. the nearest one being amore at civics. and..the reviews aren't good. : taking the course at NAFA which anitha is taking. it's REALLY interesting. but it's really challenging too. yucks # watch the president's command perf this sunday encore if you didn't catch it last sunday. it's really good. i wished i was there. # i like talking to people whom i dun really noe very well but are familiar enough so that we can act like we know what we're talking abt. # i miss ku. very much. # i miss playing in the ensemble. pretty much. # i miss studying in the library when it's so quiet that i hear more of the music than i do when i'm on the lousy train these days. and see more of the words that i'm reading than the passages that i glance through briefly nowadays at meal times. # i think the notion of being an adult is slowly dawning on us. still trying to get used to it. not a bad concept though. # i think kenneth is delighted i blogged so long. it's definitely not for your sake. and please watch house. hugh laurie is brilliant. # reminder to self: buy the book that hugh laurie wrote. # NUS BBA notebook is pretty nice. show you all next time. # i hate birthdays. shorter lines and shorter lines. bye! and px always dun reply me online. is your wireless not working well? i think there might be a part of me that secretly likes to kept busy, like no time for anything else but sleep and work. i kinda get cranky when i suddenly have a lot of free time on my hands..i think it's prob got something to do with, i wanna stay at home and wear ugly clothes and indecent short shorts and sit like a vulgar icon.. but my relatives are coming over. and they're generally very loud when they come over. ..so i'm considering whether i shld bathe, change into decent clothes, and go out with my laptop and a book to somewhere with coffee. but you see, bathing is a very very energy consuming process -.- and then there's changing clothes..after having to wear diff clothes for six days straight there's not much left to choose from.... oh noooo chris is switching from coffee to tea, because he has this late breaking epiphany that coffee might possibly be killing him.... (i actually dun believe that but..) and he just told me that i shldn't drink coffee because i play the piano and it "kills the psychomotor" which according to him is "hand-eye coordination" oh yeah i have more incentives to switch from coffee to tea alr. cos that day xinyun alr made me feel like she might outlive me for twenty years (she always make me feel this way) by buying the "organic green tea" promoted by thomas ong.. i tasted it..it tasted..like tea..bland and ..not coffee =((( but apparently it's really healthy AND, aren't all tea supposed to have more caffeine too?? crap, caffeine affects the psychomotor, dun tea have caffeine too??? this is so weird, why am i debating such a problem anyway we went east coast yesterday for our IRAS gathering not bad, just that i supposed they aren't very sporty kind and err, didn't play any of the ballgames that they planned..and had TONS OF FOOD LEFT OVER (i lug home mee siam, its box of sauce, chicken wings, crab meat) and they left early around 8pm (i insist it's early) so my supervisors were kinda disappointed aww. and now i can't type properly cos my muscles ache from the lugging of food from east coast back to parkway afterwhich i couldn't stand it, and took a cab. AGAIN. i am unreasonably hooked on "she" by elvis costello....... you noe, the "she may the face i can't forget..." that one? so anyway back to it yeah, so i was at east coast cycling and it was an unusually "filled with bastards pretending they can cycle" day bastards pair number 1 this guy and this woman whom i think is father/daughter while rachel and jielin thinks it's husb/wife relationship. doesn't matter. so i think they're either deaf, or very very dense. they were blading, and they were taking up THE WHOLE DAMN CYCLIST PATH. and then there was this bend in the road and i couldn't take the bend and crashed into the an oncoming cyclist who was similarly, unable to swerve because the both of them were in the way and they just serenely bladed off to the side and said something like "OOPS" bastards pair number 1 occasion 2 AND I SPOTTED THEM AGAIN! kns, they were again taking up the whole damn path and i was so mad that i rang the bell right behind them and braked very very hard(cos my brakes dun work well and have a very loud sound) in an attempt to shock them and alert them to the fact that, possibly, people are annoyed with them. and when they didn't take the hint, i was so mad that i just stopped and stared at them. whereas jielin and rachel cycled past me and almost crashed into them, AGAIN, because they were, AGAIN, serenely gliding along in that "oh this path belongs to me and me alone way" omg. i tried to catch up to them and tell me that "sir, you noe you're blocking the whole way?" but..i was unable to, because of bastard pair number 2 bastard pair number 2 confirmed wife and husb at first they were cycling very very very slowly and so i was unable to catch up to pair 1, but it was okay, i was fuming but i understand cos they were blocked by people too so i was like..nvm.. then the crowd cleared, and they started cycling faster, hurray!! and the husb suddenly decided to stretch his butt by cycling standing up, you noe? and i was like..fine, nvm. and he started to stray from the left to the right... hence blocking my way, AGAIN. so i wanted to cut past him..so i started to cycle past him on his right......... and he suddenly, WHILE STANDING ATOP HIS BICYCLE, DECIDED TO BRAKE AND TRY A FREAKING STUNT. and i was right behind him, ALMOST crashing into him, so i rang my bell, rather irritably and he got a shock and almost fell over his bicycle. ..served him right. STUPID LAH, almost like 30 plus 40 years old still try to do this kinda shit?! girl number 1 i was cycling along, and i spotted this girl sitting in the middle of the cyclist path, unable to move. it was apparent she had fell down from blading. so i braked because i wasn't sure of being able to cut past her and you noe what i think she's so dumb lah she fell down, but you're not hurt, so you CAN use your butt to push yourself off somewhere right???? SO DUMB lah she had to wait for another passerby to help her on her feet afterwhich, she started to feebly tentatively try to blade by taking baby small steps. right in the middle of the cyclist path where alot of cyclists were zooming past her. omg, it's dangerous for her and ourselves lah. what else. i can't rmb but i counted and in total i saw 8 people fall down/crash/almost crash infront of me. including the incidents above. so dumb. it's good that my ankle skin is damn hardened by all the blisters from new shoes..if not i'll definitely have felt the nick from the first crash above. dumb people. okay, i shall go bathe. hai peak period is over at last. actually, i didn't find it VERY exhausting..kinda getting used to it and we spent so much time becoming hysterical at how high the email numbers are (1033 for e.g.) and how much we're eating ( i ate bread and coffee at 6am, burger king breakfast set at 8am, burger king at 1pm, yoghurt again at 3pm) we're having a pinic tml at east coast. tried means and ways to get a bit but it's impossible. how can it be that the whole singapore is bbq-ing tml? house is terrific this episode. terrific.terrific. this reminds me why i bother to stick thru all the crappy episodes. damn. badminton plus jazz standards=loss of rhythm. my fingers can't play properly. damn rachel, she said that if i haven't played for a week something gets lost somewhere. i hope kenneth gets better soon. i'm in fact a selfish bitch and i hope melissa will also recover soon. anyway, tml will be like the last enjoyable sorta gathering with iras. because i'm not going to kid myself to say that i'll keep in touch with them. and they'll keep in touch with me. dun be ridiculous. the world doesn't work like that, unless you have something they want. i dun understand why people like to pretend they can retain the past. or to relive it again in some desperate paling attempt. it was good, it was past. so then move on. i wanna start learning something next month, shld i #learn photography with yeong #learn korean # learn blading and i wanna get some stuff also # a pair of jeans or # a zero dollar phone? or # a bike. so far so good, haven't been spending except splurging on food. i dun quite understand why i eat so much, it feels almost as if i'm pregnant, only with invisible worms. sleeping early. can tell right, the way i blog, so curt. means i lack sleep and can't think coherently. something's wired wrong in my brain. NUS BIZ is one goddamn cocky school. i'll just it at that. for more information, pls ask either hz or myself. kinda pissed off with them. i work till 6/7 for almost the whole of this whole week cos it's the peak filing period and the emails are totally through the roof. we get abt 2000 plus emails a day. it's impossible to clear them. and somemore, the system is always down cos they need the "power" for the first level where taxpayers are being assisted on their e-filing. i practically stare at the screen for more than 10 hrs per day. feel like i'm starting to bleed outta my eyes soon. i wanna catch the 11pm re run of metamorphosis! but my eyes are like...protesting. feel like popping them out giving a good scrub and massage before putting them back in. but my supervisors are nice=) they bought us macs breakfast. eh, not supervisors, our manager! cos apparently she feels very bad that we're working so hard. and really, why do trouble never come singly? saturday rocks shit. i realize that i probably should avoid going out with people on saturday nights cos it makes me dead tired then i become this grouchy stupid woman on sunday. and i realize i blog alot on weekends... it's when i feel like i actually have a life. so yesterday michelle yeong suddenly outta the blue asked me if i wanna play badminton with her family at yck..so of course i said yes, i never refuse anyone who wanna exercise you know, it's the one social activity (if it's counted as one) that i'll never refuse cos not only is it cheap, it's healthy, and i dun have to think abt what to wear i was still a bit worried that i'm intruding on her family cos it's like her family "gathering" kinda thing. but not to worry, i didn't feel like a stranger at all, thanks to the fact that her dad and brothers hen bu ke qi de smash me for all it's worth okay lah, after i squealed and pouted after her dad smashed me a couple of times, he directed all his smashes to yeong and every single time she can't catch it she'll go "DADDY!" it's really kinda cute. and apparently all the male species in her family has learnt this technique of "smashing your serve" which is very irritating because it meant that after you serve there's nothing much you can do except to bend and prepare to dodge their smash i asked yeong how come she never learnt that useful skill. but it was really fun=) and you should see her cousins playing badminton, they remind me of a couple of stuffed bears bobbing up and down catching balls. so anyway i told yeong that her family should make it a habit to book courts and play badminton and i'll definitely join them. she said it herself that "yeah our family totally lack of exercise, look at the size of my father know alr" ah see, she asked me not to tell her dad. i'm not! i'm just blogging, it's not my fault if he is still (perversely) reading my blog. yeahhhh her father used to read my blog. i dunno why. i dun even know whether i should be horrified or flattered. recently i've found out that tons of weird characters read my blog. ..the least you guys can do is tag right. and i woke up sometime during the night yesterday, partly because it was freaking hot and my mother is COLD so i can't on the fan.. and partly because i felt like i sprained my butt. it's really quite an appropriate adjective okay. i felt like i sprained my butt and i never knew the muscles existed until they started aching yesterday like anything. oh man....so total lack of exercise. yep, so another day of wonderful piano teaching. actually every weekend i feel more acutely how utterly relaxing ku and mr chin must be. because if you're good, and they're really good, teaching piano is the most relaxing job in the world. i can practically sleep thru my beginner students..if not for the fact that they're so uncooperative. that girl understood rhythm today! ohmygosh!! i think it's cos her mother helped her so much. thank you whoever up there for parents that have nth to do but to teach their children rhythm. ...... hai. you know i half suspected that mothers have this "sense" of when you're in a good mood. because she seems to like, get a whiff of my good mood, then decided to come over and ruined it off by repeatedly nagging about the damn sushi. I JUST BOUGHT IT LIKE 1 HR AGO AND SHE TOLD ME IT'S ALL GONNA ROT AND TURN INTO MOULD IF I DUN EAT IT SOON. WTH?! so..back to piano. i'm like, so broke. cos i just paid my own sch fees =( i think i shld dig out all my old albums and listen to them instead of buying new ones again.. hmm oh yes! PLEASE READ JOHN UPDIKE'S HENRY BECK SERIES! it's soooooo freaking funny. i think kenneth and chris shld enjoy it.......girls..it depends..if you're as cynical the three of us den you should like it too "it is strange" she said, " of the books i translate, how much there is to do with supernatural. Immaterial creatures like angels, ideal societies composed of spirits, speeds that exceed that of light, reversals of time- all impossible, and perhaps not." In a way it is terrible to look up at the sky, on one of our clear nights of burning cold, at the sky of stars, and think of creatures alive in it." "Like termites in the ceiling." Falling so short of th grandeur Kate might have had a right to expect fro him, his simile went unanswered. TERMITES IN THE CEILING? guffaws* already the contents of a book count as little as the contents of a breakfast cereal box. It is all a matter of the premium, and the shelf site, and the amount of air between the corn flakes. so far i've read 19 pages of henry bech: a book and so far, i've read nothing very substantial except to see this jew flocking around russia in a ridiculous stubbornness to spend all his money because "that's the keynesian way, we'll make mother russia a consumer society." but his prose are really really really like poetry. not the dickens nor austen's kinda poetry. modern, understandable yet quite hard to comprehend poetry. it flows. life's greatest pleasures: #finding a great great great book # drinking coffee that is free at home # listening to jazz # having the whole of an evening to squint and make out the bloody squiggly notes on debussy's and haydn's. # seeing your students advance far enough to play "jingle bells" # seeing your students COUNT. woo! # serving 70 taxpayers per day by replying earnest to their emails while sipping coffee and growing fat on the snacks they provide us with. ps to junru: i totally wanna kowtow to debussy for writing isle of joyeuse (i wonder how long it'll take for me to figure out how to spell this)..it's ridiculous! how can someone write this kinda rhythm?!! i sound like a broken record whenever i try to play it lah. i'm still stuck at the first page=( at the main melody.. sobs* life's greatest displeasures #having to climb five storeys down and up and down again with an aching butt and thighs because the lift at civic centre tends to be overrun by kids and parents around afternoon # having a mother who likes to nag about sushi # the fact that sushi's price has gone up. it's now almost 1 dollar to eat one mouthful of rice. the japanese are going to starve if things keep up this way. # giving 200 dollars in cash to your mother while giving another 300 to the bloody piano school counter and not daring to look at your account balance after that to kenneth: are you or are you not booking the tix? and xinyun? to jr: i give up. i'm a poor commoner who has no money to go for concerts. i think i shall aim to know a conductor/pianist/violinist and goad him/her into providing free tickets. to mg: your birthday is coming, am i supposed to make you a card? =( rachel's med interview got screwed up=((( i know she feels damn screwed. but i hope weilun gets into medicine...but it'll prove once again that he's smarter than i am, because we applied for the same scholarship and the damn scholarship short listed him instead of me!!! no! i shall believe that it's the brand name at work "HCI" sounds most prestige than "VJC" it doesn't make sense since i'm sure i write more interesting essays than him ..but perhaps my essays are TOO interesting. sobs, too bad. no scholarships. except for maybe ntu/nus scholarship. ah, it's okay, scholarship only mah, not like i'll die without the money. oh, another life's greatest pleasure # waking up in the morning that you dun really care if you get that damn scholarship   damn. i wish i can just print it out and frame them up.ahh..so shit to spend like 1 day on wallpaper and can't get a decent one. bleagh
 damn.....not much you can do without photoshop....it looks...hmm.anyway, i spent 1 hr plus doing this..along with 1 hr plus of piano..and another few minutes of zoning off somewhere else.. so nice. off to drink my second cup of coffee. sometimes i think caffeine does weird things to ppl. i am conflicted >.< the phone that i've been eyeing for some time..is 150 dollars cheaper this weekend due to some road show stuff.. so i'm wondering whether i shld buy...... but it's still $350 bucks, which is alot. and i've already sorta promised myself that this mth i CANNOT buy anything. and i've sorta made up my mind that i shall get a new phone ONLY around july so that # either this phone's price will drop OR # some other more brilliant phones will come up. ..but this stupid roadshow had to tempt me bawwrhhhrhr!! buy or not buy??? if i buy i'm so freaking broke. but calista told me that "your phone is a disgrace to singaporeans" sobs. so sad meh, i've already ceased noticing its ugliness. i think. i shall....... exercise all the discipline there is in me........... AND REFUSE TO BUY IT. REFUSE REFUSE REFUSE. I HAVE NO MONEY NO MONEY NO MONEY AND I HAVEN'T EVEN PAID FOR MY OWN PIANO SCH FEES!! OH NO!! okay okay so long i think abt the pathetic state of my bank account i'll be more erm, yeah, disciplined. man. okay okay, no spend. no spend. people dun ask me out except it's to # cycle at east coast cos it's 6 dollars for two hrs. # watch movies cos it's 6.50 for three hrs or so so # have astons, cos it's $6.50 plus plus for a dinner or something cheap. yep. bawls* you know, i think they should make it a rule or a law that daughters are not required to give money to their parents. it's just freaking irritating this so called responsibility to be nice to your parents and to be filial and be you know.......whatever. i almost wish that singapore can adopt more of the US system where people are SUPPOSED to move outta their houses nearing 21 and what i earn, i keep i generally dun have problems giving money to my mother but i REALLY dun have money this month because i overspent last month, and she was stupid enough to not notice. and of course, it's my fault, it's really my fault (how can i deny it) but half of it was on stuff that was essential, and btw, costs a lot -piano scores $60 -piano fees $180 -interview clothes - $130 (i can't like wear jeans there right??) - $200 for mother see? what the hell. i never ever said that i'm a generous, caring loving woman. i'm a damn selfish woman especially when i have little to spare for myself. fuck. and i was in such a good mood when i woke this morning somemore. like what i told chris. it's ridiculous i'm addicted, or okay, quite fascinated with this show
it's about what all vampire shows are about(including twilight even) it's about... #1 a vampire that's dead hot (pun intended) #2 a psychic girl who's freaking hot too #3 a shapeshifter that tada! is her boss!! #4 tons of slutty vampires and weird looking macho vampires with hairs that looked like they need washing #5 throw in an african american girl who seriously has issues #6 a stupid brother who wow! decides to get high on V (vampire blood) #7 tons and tons and TONS OF SEX it's really freaking cliche and i think i've been brainwashed by this interview the producer did, like how they dun actually take the show seriously and what's a vampire show without tons of sex so i dun really have much expectations except that...... it's really quite addictive -.- really. and dun you think the guy kinda channels abit bit ..can't really place him. but i like his voice, and all the cast has this really weird accent that hmm, is quite rare on american shows. and i need something brainless so seeing mortals vampires and shapeshifters beating the crap outta each other is not bad. what's more the special effects are REALLY good. AND AND i can't wait to get the soundtrack. the soundtrack is reaaaally good. (thinks about the time when i spent 36 bucks getting house's soundtrack..shit, why do i do such things) but the soundtrack will only be out in MAY! in the US! ahh!! i dunno whether it's the correct way to describe it but it's like those southern country rock things....... nvmm. no one really appreciates the music i appreciates -.- i wanted to blog abt non-vamp stuff but erm, kinda sleepy right now...so yep, tml. IT'S A LONG WEEKEND! I'M HAPPY!! gonna exercise with yeong tml at yck with her family haha, badminton..before that..i'll see what i can do=)) piano..maybe go expo john little sale..whatever is good! LONG WEEKEND! i noe i've blogged alot of times today. but anyway. yiling told me the damn ping pong show on channel 8 is crap and my maid was sniggering at it. my maid is easily amused, if she sniggers, it must mean something is reaaaally bad somewhere. anyhow, i'm trying true blood, it looks good. in the dark creepy way, not the "what shit is this" twilight kinda way. i noeeee xinyun is so gonna kill me. but i love what kenneth told me, he said stephen king said.. lemme dig up the quote. The real difference is that JK Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn," King told USA Weekend magazine, comparing "Harry Potter" writer J.K. Rowling and the "Twilight" mastermind. The interview will be published as the cover story of the mag's March 6-8 issue. "She's not very good." damn. now people will just spam me. but it's true what, i think the plot is quite not bad in twilight series..but..the writing..is..abit..disappointing. but she improves! towards the end i thought it was pretty good.. .. xinyun is gonna gimme the "you go away! i dun wanna talk to you!" again i was so agitated when i read this news that i switched on my laptop again just to blog this (not counting the fact that i've decided to try watching true blood...cos i'm in a mood for vampires but i just dun wanna try twilight) anyway, here's the news: A new law in Afghanistan is being criticized heavily by human rights groups for reportedly legalizing spousal rape. Wired PR News – An Afghan law has come under fire by human rights groups and other critics who state it makes spousal rape legal. As reported by the Associated Press (AP), some groups and lawmakers in the country are alleging that Afghan President Hamid Karzai signed the controversial measure into law for re-election purposes. As noted by the AP, the law is purportedly for the regulation of Shiite family life, and doe not pertain to Afghan Sunnis. Statutes most criticized in the measure include the article stipulating as quoted in the report, that a woman “is bound to preen for her husband as and when he desires.” The law is further quoted to state, “As long as the husband is not traveling, he has the right to have sexual intercourse with his wife every fourth night… Unless the wife is ill or has any kind of illness that intercourse could aggravate, the wife is bound to give a positive response to the sexual desires of her husband.” Many have deemed the law a violation of women’s rights, and a threat to strides made in the past few years in regards to human rights in Afghanistan. WAD THE FUCK LAH? literally! omg i was so shocked when i read the news on TODAY. wad the hell? i was reading my own posts just now. (who doesn't, hands up) and i realize. .. i dun sound like myself right? .. pls tag your opinions. cos i was quite hmm, shocked at how..erm, cheerful i sound? (do i sound cheerful?) wow. my life is really ..well. hmm, pointless? i did nearly 80 emails today, 70 plus if you count those that are sitting in my folder waiting for my supervisor's green flag to tell me that i'm actually making sense reply these taxpayers who actually don't make sense. ..so hmm. that's nearly 80 taxpayers who have benefitted by my wisdom today. does that count as meaning??? and i've watched some trailers..posted harry potter's and little ashes..two of the more promising shows that i wanna watch. and i'm gonna read jane austen later..one volume left! woots! it's much easier to read than great ex..but maybe it's cos we've actually gotten through the latter that's why hers seemed simpler.. wait, jane austen came later right? later than charles dickens right? which may explain why her english is slightly easier to understand than dickens. and her lack of a preoccupation with the marshes, the fog, the bloody trees and cement (great memories, everyone who did dickens! i even did the question on setting during As okay!) dunno why i sound very high today sound, being the operative word. there's an italian earthquake. magnitude 5.8 according to the quick flash on msn. what shld i do now. prob gonna browse amazon website to see if any good books have come up. and today is the sixth!! four more days and i can bear to look at my account balance without cringing too badly and i've decided to like eat fruitis for the rest of this week, if not i'll eat the xingfu yupian at IRAS. it's $3.50 and it's healthy, with lots of veggs, tofu, soup, and FA CAI. everytime i eat it i feel so xingfu. yep it's not because i'm on a diet. it's because i have to save money save money save money oh happy belated birthday smh, i can't try to ignore that i know it's your birthday because you happen to dedicate quite a few entries to your birthday.. hmm, happy birthday then. you look very gay in your photos (pun intended)! treasure your hair! soon you'll have none! hungarian dance no. 1~ damn. thurs make up lesson. it's for this girl called lara which i like, but still. make up lesson. zzz. currently i owe: lara- one lesson max- two lesson (another favourite student, no prob) siqing- one lesson (abit problematic this one..but hmm) i forgot what i wanted to say. oh yeah, weilun tends to msg me at the most unexpected and erm inconvenient time. anyhow, he's trying for medicine at nus. i hope he gets in, like i said, cos it'll be very practical to know medicine friends. and i hope shanti, yy, rachel gets in too. the more the merrier! and better yet if they specialize in different fields! pris ah, your 10A1s prob not becoming president...maybe health minister? .. everytime i say this kinda thing i feel like puking. lucky for you i only say it on my blog and kenneth, is your arm broken yet?..actually, why am i talking to you? you are stuck in camp with stinky guys for company. aww. i meant to blog xinyun asked me that day during our phone conversation ..before that, you know our conversation tends to follow this rule i'll talk abt something.. then xinyun will say something irrelevant. then i'll say something irrelevant again. i told xinyun this and she said "then what you wan me to do?" and we continued. and sometime later she asked me this (she was choosing questions for her tuition kids) "do you think a math question about swordfish dying or *insert mundane subject* is better?" .."i think swordfish dying better right?" me: "does it matter?" her: "of course it does." seriously, if anyone can find me a guy half as amusing as her, i'll be content. HOUSE IS ON TONIGHT! supposedly a very very good episode. i hope sooooo house has been quite disappointing thus far.. this season i mean..hugh laurie of course not, but house, the show yes. did i scream that beethoven virus dvd is out? .oh i did. questions on my mind *shld i stay in hostel in nus *if i stay, shld i try for prince george's park or stay in hall *how do i avoid pissing ku off and him pissing me off since i'll join piano ensemble *..am i gonna die at USP cos i'll noe no one?! (despite popular belief that i dun care, sometimes i do care, esp when i'm stuck in the program for four years ..if i dun have friends i'll start talking crap to professors which..may not be a very good thing) * why life is unfair. Little Ashes Trailer (high quality)
i've always like robert pattinson you know.. i just really dislike ..edward..but don't you think he kinda channel a bit of johnny depp here..and if there's anything to redeem him from...hmm, twilight cynics like myself, is this film...(aka i hope he can act) [OFFICIAL] Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - HQ Teaser Trailer
ahh.. i miss harry potter..you can't deny the bloody franchaise has one of the best soundtracks around..and ..I MISS THE BRITISH ACCENT!! woots* actually i can't rmb really but isn't the half bloody prince kinda the BEST book outta the series?..i rmb i couldn't put it down or something..and everyone was reading it during piano rehearsal..yeah..and i really really wanna see who they cast for young voldemort..I MISS YOU KNOW WHO! adobe photoshop is takes as long to uninstall as to install. what shit. my laptop is crazy, changed to wallpaper cos suddenly hugh laurie's terrific face is like run over with thousands of streaks, no idea where they came from. oh pris, you might wanna change the wallpaper to a more hmm, neutral one if you are borrowing my laptop, if not the pupils will prob keep asking you what the wallpaper is abt. oh and i'm very very interested in this course that my colleague in IRAS is taking, it's like a certified basic course NAFA offers, then they get to do a lot of projects using photoshop, illustrator and all that kinda stuff which i'm interested in but sadly no talent in. it's like $1400 for 6 mths? then two lessons per week, not very ex..so i'm saving up and hopefully by next year i'll have enough money in time for the jan intake..hmm but i'm not sure i can save like $1400, it's beyond my means. i think i'm growing into this horrible person who can't save shit. not to mention i intend to go bangkok the loft and buy LOTS AND LOTS OF stuff home cos their clocks, their glasses, their shelves their every single thing is so cool i wanna fill my hostel room with it (if, if, if i'm staying at hostel) i haven't made up my mind. mainly because NUS is quite near my house and if i survived 2 years going vj, what's nus man! and second reason cos...... i can't move my lovely piano into my room. it's impossible. and my piano is so lovely i can't bear to abandon it at home oooh it's nearly 1pm! i have..... -read finish the first volume of pride and prejudice. -tried isle of joyeause (still dunno how to spell) and it's like..it's like, it's freaking hard. i play RH i dunno how to play LH, i play LH i dunno how to play RH. what shit man. i reallyreally think debussy is crazy to even compose it out and WRITE it out. walao -done nth in general except lazing around..what a nice change. oh yeah..i wanna make a shopping list AGAIN. yah yah i noe, i keep making them, and i keep failing them cos like i dun have money to buy stuff on the list cos i keep spending it on stuff outside the list. sobs. ..the inconsistency of humans. and christopher saw. have you changed ur email or something? why do i not see you online anymore?? ..maybe you choked on coffee cos you were so ecstatic to see them outta camp.. okay, this is it man IF YOU HAVEN'T ADDED ME ON MSN, rainspring@live.com!!! it is a damn damn easy to rmb email add! pls add! (and i keep having to explian to i'll say it here one last time, the email is actually part of hotmail, i thought ___@live.com sounds more cool than ___@hotmail.com so i went for the former yeah) ADD ME! cos i wanna abandon my previous email le, i've had enough to "ANNA SUI MASCARA" "MR PETER PARKER HAS SENT YOU AN INVITATION!" "YOU'VE WON THE BRITISH LOTTERY!" "THE ECONOMIST!" "THE COLLEGEBOARD!" and these kinda shit which clogs up my email yep yep so ADD ME~~~~ currently i have like what only 20 contacts in my msn and notable people who hasn't added me MEIGUI PRISCILLA (have you?) JUNRU XINYUN JESSICA YIP AND ALL MY CLIQUE PEOPLE EXCEPT YILING even weilun the ancient has added me lah! i thought he disappeared from earth alr and was actually wondering whether he actually uses that email add at all BUT HE ADDED ME LAH WALAO SO HURRY UP ADD ME LAH phew, so tiring to scream at you all like this oh pris, EFL!! i had to think for 5 minutes to recall what it stands for EDUCATION FOR LIFE! OMG! CAN I CRASH??? I WANNA GO EFL AGAIN!! HAHA and yah loh, teach chinese leh, do you have textbooks? what are you supposed to teach? and i second your sister, i think you'll be quite a lame and boring teacher. hmm. you can always get a list of cold jokes from mg to entertain ur class.yeah can somebody tell me how i can transfer the whole "josef geog" folder from my old email acct to my new one? cos it's got so many funny emails from josef, i dun bear to throw them away =( btw KENNETH, if you wan us to watch "if there are seasons" with you, kindly tag loudly at my tagboard and say the time and date so i can quickly put aside money see, i've decided. i'm VERY VERY BAD AT managing my account only rachel and jielin knows how much i've spent outta the 1000 plus pay i got last mth so yep i've decided i shall put aside like half of my pay this mth in this separate account, then pass the atm card to xinyun cos she freaking stays so far away, it's good, my money will be safe from my itchy hands and fingers. eh, but seriously, the things i bought last mth are okay what.... they are quite..you noe, useful and necessary?? OH MY GOD! I FORGOT TO SAY THIS! HOW CAN I FORGET TO SAY THIS? BEETHOVEN VIRUS DVD IS OOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT OMG~!!! this is the only time i'll sound like mg (she sounds like this whenever jay chou does anything) omg it's 39 dollars lah!!! i almost screamed when i saw it at TS sale today it's 39 DOLLARS! i wanna get one for myself quick quick so i can lend it mr chin and force him to watch, then i wanna get one for ku cos the maestro kang in that show TOTALLY IS HIM. beethoven virus~~~~~~~!! yeah i siao liao yeah yeah but i shall wait for the price to drop, and more versions to come out, then compare which cover is prettiest. but this current cover looks very pretty too!!!! oh man, i haven't been like this since...since..oh since, the first time i watched it which is A levels=DDD i feel so "blessed" that during A levels i had beethoven virus for company awwwwww omg i'm totally bad THIS MEANS THAT THE OST IS COMING SOON? RIGHT?! RIGHT?!!! I LOVE THE OST! I LOVELOVELOVELOVE THE OST! even though it only has three vocal songs, but IT'S SOOOOOOOO GOOD okay okay, nodame fans, pls ago ahead and spam my tagboard and jr (and maybe to smh if you err understand..i not trying to insult your intelligence okay -.-) my teacher asked me to try playing the isle of joyeause or however you spell it. IT'S SO HARD!~~ it's like, i stared at him, then he asked me "wanna take up the challenge?" then i said "WALAO THE RHYTHM SO HARD LAH!" ..but still gonna try it loh, cos it's nice. kns, it's so long somemore. okay okay my routine saturday report on the stupidity of kids and their lack of...*insert noun that stands for the basic of intelligence* no.1 my two favourite kids didn't come today. i was sad. no.2 my student's bag didn't stink today, but i noticed with annoyance that the scores i printed for him are effectively resembling cabbage. no. 3 i noticed that the asahi piano i teach with, is VERY out of tune. ravel sounds like crap on it. it sounds like somebody spilled soysauce on the sounds. no. 4 I HAVE ANOTHER STUDENT WHO DUN GET WHAT'S RHYTHM!! OMGGGG read the following exchange. note: *dang* means playing one key ..me: "you understand what's rhythm??" her: "...what's rhythm??" me: "yadayada beats yadayada pulse yadayada" pat out beats on the piano using my hands and imitated beat-sounds "pah, pah, pah, pah" her: "..what's that?" me: "what's what?" her: "the pah, pah, pah" me: *speechless for the first time i recall in my life* me: "i want you to count ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR. this note stands for TWO counts, so you go *dang* ONE, TWO, *dang* THREE, FOUR, understand?" her: "this note two counts?" me: "yah" her: "so it's...*dang* TWO!" me: *had an irrepressable urge to die and be sent to somewhere with no kids.* me: "this is a BARLINE, this is another BARLINE, in between TWO BARLINES is a BAR." her: "oh, so this WHOLE thing is a bar!" *points to the entire first phrase of the score aka FOUR BARS* me: "NOOO~~" repeats* her: "yah! so this whole thing is a bar!" *Repeats mistake* me: *starting to doubt whether i'm speaking english. IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND???" omg lah, she was the last student, so i went out with her and spoke to her father and i had this sudden like "woooow" cos you noe father dun learn music, so he was quite..reverant?? (how to spell huh?) yep and he was very earnest when asking me how he can help her. and i was like, very speechless, cos..HOW DO YOU TELL A FATHER TO TEACH UR DAUGHTER RHYTHM?! omg.. i wanted to tell him to let her watch michael buble or something, if you watch it and still dun understand what's rhythm i really wanna die liao. so anyway i was waiting for her father with her, then mr chin came out from his studio and waved to me, then i let out this strangled cry and i think my face was contorted and he, startled, asked, "why? wanna die alr is it?" then i said, in mandarin cos the student is an indian, and i dun wanna hurt her feelings, "yah!!! she dunno what's rhythm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and he went "ohhhhhhhh......." and gave a very sympathetic nod. after which during lesson he had a very good laugh when he heard abt the "What's pah pah pah" conversation. i always have a lot of stories to tell on sat huh? and the freaking wdlands library was filled with people studying like, you noe, their concentrated faces squinting at their notes remind me of JC life. kinda miss it. study only mah. TEACHING IS THE HARD PART! *gives sympathetic look to pris* so i was stranded, and i was abit annoyed when i realize i forgot to bring my IC and so i can't borrow updike's books..urgh.. and even more annoyed that there was no place to sit in the library to read a book. so i bought cafe latte from starbucks (IT'S SHIT! DUN DRINK LATTE~!) and went up to kope a seat infront of a random studio in my school and read pride and prejudice EH, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE IS FUNNNNY LOH. and!!! if my own personal recommendation isn't enough CHRIS LOVES IT. AND!! MORE AMAZINGLY AND DEFINITELY SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT IT'S THE ONLY CLASSIC THAT XINYUN FINISHED! ooh! see? i think that's about the most encouraging sentence i can say yep, i'm at page 96 since yesterday, not bad progress for a book that's in a language that err..isn't very easy to understand and i dun mind keira knightly on the cover, she's pretty=) what else oh yeahhhh i got into NUS USP. yep the moment i got the letter i was like "must call kenneth, he'll be jealous" HEEHEE no lah..i dun feel joyous abt it, i feel..hmm, assured? that my turning-the-tables around interview technique works. *pls note, it works only when your interviewers are nice historian professors that dun mind you being erm, very brutally frank* and so i think it's settled, that i'm going into NUS. the thing is I PUT NUS BIZ(ACCOUNTS) ..why?! i'm starting to really regret it man .. i shld have put FASS ??? i dunno leh! but according to today's straits times, NUS BIZ grads earn quite high bucks. so..... i assume BIZ(ACCOUNTS) shldn't be too bad either? -.- top is SMU ECONS grads though. yep so how, shld i do a desperate plea and change to NUS FASS? -.-" and kenneth is right, he's always more emotional abt my own stuff than i am. he practically squealed (i'm very resolute that he squealed, he doesn't shout, shout is too masculine for him) in my ears when i got my A level results. and i think he did a little squeal just now on the train too when i called him abt USP. yep, it's good, he squeals for me, so i can assume tis cool cool aloof image. and life is good today=) i hve a good book and for once saturday night i get to stay home. i have good dinner. good fruits good coffee. AND MUSIC. AND JANE AUSTEN. life is not bad tonight! JR! you didn't exactly match my enthusiasm abt beethoven virus! =(((( and i'm youtubing the repertoire for tokyo orchestra..yep yep, i wanna go! shall we?! according to this quiz i just did out of boredom.. xinyun is my lucky star. while i'm in love with kenneth. wow........................... ..maybe that's the reason why i got straight As huh? stole all the luck from xinyun and kenneth, I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU WOR!!! vomits* ridiculous. kenneth just told me that he wants to tell me a "Secret" i was expecting him to say maybe he has finally realized his life cannot do with xinyun. but he told me this, he's considering falling down the stairs tml with his bike so he can fracture his arm and hopefully get out of army. ..that bad huh? but if you break your arm, you can't type, can't scratch ur itch, can't play piano, can't play squash.. i think you're still better off rolling around in mud. why is it that even though we got to go home earlier today at 4pm (cos there were no emails! surprise surprise! taxpayers are getting smarter!! my supervisor was like, disbelief*) i still find myself erm, running outta time. everytime i finish playing my piano and look at the clock, it's like nearly 8plus. mannnn and every friday i have this near-panic attack, like, how man, tml must teach piano, oh no, what must i prepare, how to teach them, how to scare them.. no lah seriously, every friday i keep thinking whether i should ask my student to wash his bag, cos it freaking stinks. and i wonder every friday whether i should ask the same student to buy the scales book and learn scales..cos he's afterall nearly grade 2, and my the other grade 2 student can totally memorize scales le. but you noe hor, getting parents to buy books is a very very very sensitive issue -.-" economic crisis and all. AND MY FAVOURITE STUDENT ISN'T COMING TML! I'M SAD! THEN I'LL TOTALLY WANNA FALL ASLEEP TML! and i can't play dotted quaver properly. damn. i think if it's ku he'll wanna sleep me alr. i feel like slapping myself JUNRU! i can't play schumann's kinderszenen properly!! it's like i'm limping lah! omg........zzz what else...oh yahhh this morning i saw a 50 (at least!) woman, wearing those pink tops that are glittery glittery, then you noe, showing a bit of shoulder those kind? yeah, along with red pants (god.) and she was putting on make up on the train, sitting at the priority seat. i thought of shining a huge spotlight at her so other people can join in my fascination she used pink eyeshadow purple eye shadow. mascara, eyeliner, then fervently blushed her cheeks. then in the end, her eyelids looked like flaps of raw salmon that's been left in the outside air for too long. it...was....hai. very sad to watch. i keep staring at her and pretending that i'm staring at the adv over her head. just so i can watch her make up. walao. IF I BECOME LIKE THAT WHEN I'M OLD, CAN YOU PLS SLAP ME. PLS PLS PLS. hmm, parkway is having a mega sale tml. giordano all pants 50% off leh. thinking of buying another jeans. tsk. shld i go down tml? and today i just murmured to rachel, "eh..i wanna get credit card.." and without hearing the reason she immediately exclaimed, "NO!! YOU CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT GET CREDIT CARD!YOU'LL GO BROKE LAH OMG!" ..and i was like "i wan credit card cos the albums i want singapore don't have mah........." ......walao, i think i've established my reputation as a high-spender...... but i am meh? -.- okay what.. it's xinyun's fault lah, she influenced me to have expensive taste okay and it's not my fault classical cds are so ex. ..sian..i'm listening again and again to schumann and realized that..crap, why are my ears so bad i'm suspecting that one ear is partially deaf you noe, cos i realize when i play i tend to tilt towards the right....... no lah, my intepretation just sucks. JR!~~~ like a simple schumann also cannot intepret properly..feel like i have no zi ge to teach you noe. wah crap. my blog is starting to be like..you guys probably dun understand what i'm saying. just ONE sentence, to jr: WAKAO, THIS WOMAN PLAY DEBUSSY LIKE SHE'S PLAYING RACHMANINOFF. DAMN IRRITATING. EVERY NOTE IS SO CLEAR LAH, I THINK SHE'S BETTER OFF PLAYING MOZART OR SOMETHING. KAO. okay, that's all. hmm. yep that's all. i'm getting afraid of teaching students the wrong things =( but..scales can't go wrong. my scales it not bad -.- .....damn ..i'm listening to schumann's kinderszenen. like what the word implies, it's what he wrote for..children? kids? i forgot the exact wording. and i'm listening to it, cos it's nice and more importantly I HAVE TO TEACH THIS ON SATURDAY OKAY TO A GRADE 5 KID. OMG..how am i supposed to tell her that "SCHUMANN IS ROMANTIC, ROMANTIC, YOU CANNOT PLAY LIKE YOU'RE HITTING ROCKS. CANNOT!" ..well i can always pray that she didn't prac skills and i can say the same things again "okay loh, you come here waste piano fees practise.." "just practise until you get it right..this half an hr." ..rachel says that i'm a very horrifying teacher. but now i'm starting to understand how ku feels you seriously dun feel bad for saying things like that when your student is bad loh -.- and it's not like i felt angry or anything, i feel..nothing! just, practise lah?? what else can i do for you right? unless it's trying to teach you "it's romantic~ rommmmannnntic! dun play like he composed the song for rocks!" and oh pris, i was around, i'll prob be always online from like 8-9pm everyday, sometimes to 10pm cos everyday after work, i'll go run if the weather is nice, if not i'll bathe, practise piano for quite a long time, come online to watch house or some other show, listen to some music, lament the meaningless of life the go to sleep. i've decided to sleep a bit later tonight cos i've realized that i've slept too much -.- and mg, i feel like i should say something to you after what you've post. but i dun feel like saying "it'll get better", cos it won't. and seriously, i dun think there's anything comforting to say that i can think of. and the point is, if i'm in your shoes, which occasionally or more frequently that it appears to be, i don't think i want comfort. usually i just want someone to acknowledge how the shit i'm going through. and yah, it's shit. it's just shit. somethings just turn out the way they are. some people say we don't try hard enough. some people don't understand why we can let things turn out this way. most people try to be sympathetic because i don't think humans have yet figured out another socially acceptable way of dealing with tragedy aka shit in their face. but somethings just..are. and sometimes when i think of them i get sick, like, sick. but in the end, to be honest, i can just tune out and not care. i don't feel bad for saying it. you'll be lying if you say you deal with all the emotions you feel. everyone shoves some stuff out of their minds everyday. if not we'll be a wreck. and anyone who says otherwise is being...egoistic. just..so. sometimes i think that we like being in school because there are teachers who praise you, who gives you a pat on the back, who beams at you when you accomplish something. otherwise, who gives a shit what you do when you are an adult. ..i'm coming down with something. i think jielin passed it to me by purposefully sneezing near my head. ..and throwing tissues stained with germs into our team's rubbish bin.hmmph.. anyway, get used to seeing "jielin" and "rachel" in my blog, since my whole life practically revolves around them now. i dun even get to see yiling lijie kb, even though we work in the same building. listening to jazz songs..cos it's too tiring to go youtube to search for classical. i think i've given up on pop, esp chinese pop, where have all the veteran singers gone.. hmm, what did i wanted to blog about. yeah..i really think that people shouldn't get too close to each other. have you ever had the realisation, after 2/3/4/5/6 a gazillion years of knowing each other, then you realize one day, that actually, he's/she's not the person you really like. and then ..we begin that process called drifting. "drifting" is a nice word, because it involves no pain, no..deliberate..plans. ..ah, george michael..who the hell is he? why haven't i listened to him before? i heard of him, but i've never heard him..and his voice is not bad...wor. yep, i noe, nobody knows what i'm talking about. IT'S ONLY 8.20PM?? oh man. i thought it's like almost 9. work, sleep, work , sleep. not bad you noe. |
it's called "true blood" and if you think the english name is cliche, you shld hear the chinese one